Say Something

Some time ago I remember reading someone say something along the lines of this; "We are social creatures and we need to talk and interact with each other." I don't remember if it was from a blog here or from an opinion piece elsewhere but the part about it that stuck with me was about struggling with isolation due to the virus. They went on to express how they couldn't wait for things to return to some semblance of how things were before.

I read The Red Parade's Say Something. In it, a mute Kirin runs into another mute character and they have a brief conversation via a chalkboard. It is a fantastic story to read so do go read it.

What do these two things have in common? How could I possibly tie them together? Well, there is the obvious isolation felt by those that are determined to be different by others as a start. The problem is that being forced into isolation due to a viral outbreak and being forced into isolation as a social outcast isn't quite one and the same.

For me Say Something really struck a personal chord. I know that very experience that Red described in that story. Yes, my experience was by choice and not something forced upon me but it doesn't change the fact that I have an actual idea as to what it is like to be mute. I've actually heard a number of those comments before, believe it or not. Yeah, I know, I could have just spoken up. At the same time though, some of those comments weren't aimed at me and were aimed at someone actually mute. Communication without speaking isn't easy as it is. When you run into someone that is inconsiderate or ignorant it makes it that much harder.

For a number of years of my younger life I deliberately, by choice of not talking rather than any actual problem, decided to be as mute as possible. I tried to go as long as possible without ever talking. The stretch where I was really dedicated to this was late middle school to early high school. The longest stretch I managed was 6 months without saying a word. 6 months without a single spoken word. I was proud of it at the time and I was rather disappointed that the stretch ended. Maybe as a side effect of me doing that I find talking to be something I have to put a lot of energy into, even to this day. As a result, I'd rather just communicate nonverbally more often than not and can go days without talking. I actually enjoy nonverbal communication though. Part of my enjoyment of writing on paper might even come from my preference for nonverbal communication. At times nonverbal communication seems more intimate as well. I'm not sure that I could ever hope to adequately explain that though I do think the silent aspect of it plays a part. That silence that Hollow Oak hated for being forced upon her, yet also cherished when she felt uncomfortable around other ponies, I feel at home in. That silence comes from isolation. That isolation I choose to be in as I am not forced into it.

That is the same isolation that pretty much everyone has been getting a taste of to some degree for a majority of this year. This same isolation that many are now loathing for having to still endure and can't wait to get out of to return to some sense of what things were like before. I get that isolation can be very bad if taken to extremes and I am likely paying for it to this day in some ways as I very likely crossed that threshold when I was younger. However, that doesn't change the fact that that isolation is where I am comfortable. I also know that I am not the only one like that. That isolation that is being called a miserable experience by some is comfortably called home by others. Likewise, the way things were before, where heavy social interaction was normal, was a miserable experience for some while others, admittedly many more others, comfortably called it home.

I'm not trying to say that those being forced into isolation should enjoy it or that they are wrong in not liking it. Rather I am asking that you take this experience and remember it for a perspective reference point. Remember how you are finding this isolation hard to deal with as it stretches on and on. Then remember that there are others that enjoy this isolation and that, for them, this forced isolation has been a welcome break from the constant social life that the world almost demands of us. Remember so that you can better appreciate and respect the differences between us. Remember so that maybe, just maybe, when the world goes back into some sense of normalcy relative to how it used to be before this outbreak we can try to be more accommodating to others.

In the meantime, and for the remainder of this time of isolation, welcome to what I like to call home. Please, make yourself comfortable and try to enjoy the rest of your stay.