A Baby Phoenix... (Lil Me) · 3:57pm Nov 25th, 2012
So,
My mom was going through our old Photos, and we found a picture.
The funny thing about Photographs, is you never think of that day until you look at it. And then all the emotions come flooding back to you.
For example, Here on this day I was in Kindergarten. Back in 93. Oh yeah, I ROCKED that pink off brand polo shirt! I was either five or six, I can't remember... Anyhow this is the face of an abused kid.
No not from family.
From bullies. From pain, physical and emotional.
Yet I remember that on that day I smiled so my mom can have a nice picture.
I also remember that at that age I had wrote a story already... And I lost it over the years.
But I remember that it was about a valiant knight that wanted to save the princess from her tower, so they could get married, and she snubbed him because he wasn't a handsome prince and he did not have a lot of money. But he was kind, and valiant and never did wrong to anyone and protected the weak.
She instead married the good looking prince, who had a lot of money, thinking that she would be happy. She wasn't because he would fight with her, and he would beat her up because he thought it was fun to do.
The valiant knight stood up to the prince, and was slain for going against the heir to the throne.
And nobody lived happily ever after.
Wow, I was a sad kid even then.
\
Here I am in the second grade.
On this day, I remember my cousin took a picture with a Micky Mouse Doll.
I already had problems with bullies, (not even 15 minutes ago, another kid pulled down my pants and underwear in front of everyone.) And that is why my right hand is in a fist, but I also wanted not to look like a sissy, so... Ball.
What did this all lead to? The rare, only time you will see a picture of me today picture.
I took this yesterday, as I did a bit of work, I had to dress as Santa as I waved a sign. It was kinda fun. But I wanted to make a point here.
I was bullied for a long time, from day one of school, till the day I walked out.
By the time that the first photo was taken, I had tried once to kill myself already.
Today, I still live, a failure in everything I do. Doing whatever work I can when I can.
I have as of the time I am writing this, have attempted over 40 times to end my life, but I haven't in about a month now.
When you tease someone long enough, and tell them that they are fat, and stupid... they believe it.
and then, they become it.
I wasn't a fat kid, but now, I am an over weight adult, (Ive lost 100 lbs in 2 years so I feel better about myself now)
If you ever have kids, please, if you never take anything away from me, take this away, DON'T LET BULLIES RULE THERE LIVES!
Let them be confident, and know the world is harsh, but not that it is unforgiving, not at Five. Don't let your kids grow up to be me.
And to those of you still in school, if you have friends, you are more lucky than you will ever know.
That kid in those two pictures? He had no friends. Not until he was kicked out of high school.
Hoping that you read this...
Phoenix Quill.
AKA
Scott Rodger Uribe.
Hey, man. Glad you made it this far.
Just remember: It gets better. It really does. You already found that out once you got out of the Lord of the Flies hellhole of public school. You're making friends and gaining more control over your own life, instead of being forced to sit in a classroom with the bullies and halfwits for eight hours a day. You've survived the worst. I, too, got out of high school and never looked back.
And you're wrong about one thing: you're not a failure. Despite society shrugging as you survived a decade of torture and abuse ... despite society shrugging as you fought to make your own way ... despite a system set up to heap disrespect and indignity on those at the bottom of the totem pole ... you're here, and you're shaping your own life, and you have already made yourself into so much more than they ever told you you could be.
It's not easy to get up in the morning and prove them wrong. It fucking sucks. It's the hardest thing in the world. But every day that you do it, you've won.
What horizon said.
Make sure you keep in regular contact with your mates IRL .
You definitely do not want to be isolated with that kind of baggage without anybody to go to.
Those demons will mess you up something fierce on your own
539082>>540393
Thanks guys,
As for now I am in a much much better mood than yesterday.
Sometimes I measure success by how many people follow what I say, but other times I just think of what my family thinks of me.
True friends are rare, but in my mind fame isn't money or really even people that follow you everywhere, (who wants that really?) No, its just that people will LISTEN to you.