im tired

Of everything. This year has fucking sucked. The virus. The politics. Everything. And it's only fucking halfway through. I'm so sick and tired of it all. I've been so sad and unproductive for months because of it all. And worst of it all, now all of the cencorship debate bullshit has reached here now, the one place I thought I was safe from it.
Why does it feel like the fandom of a show that absolutely changed my life and I love to absolute death feel like it's killing itself on the inside? God fucking damn it man, I entered this fandom last year and I already feel like it's burning to the ground.
And the worst part is that I feel useless. Because I'm not strong enough to deal or fight in this stuff. All of this just makes me sad. Super, super sad. Over a fandom of a show that helped me so much mentally. It just feels like it's tearing me apart again. And I don't even know what side to pick, I honestly don't want to pick either at this point. I don't agree with the tremendous heavy censorship everyone is pushing but I also don't agree with how some people on the other side are fighting against it. It's the exact same thing for left v right, both sides are equally fucked and I don't want to be labeled or associated with either.

I'm so fucking tired of dumbass fucking politics. They piss me of so fucking much, they ruin absolutely fucking everything. And I've been nothing but sad forever this year so this is not gonna help.

I'm so tired. Of everything. Tired, sad, angry, and scared. Because honestly, all of the stuff that's been going on in this fandom of the show I love so much has been the absolute lowest of the low of this shitty ass year. It pains me, actually pains me, to see this ship sink in a burning inferno and with me being on it. And for there being nothing I can do but stay or leave, both of which I heavily and equally don't want to do.

That's it. That's all this blog is. A rant blog about how sad I am. Because I am. I'm extremely fucking sad about how in the pits the fandom is right now and how it doesn't look like it'll feel any better if either side wins. I'm just... Fucking done with everything, man