THE CODE VEIN EXPERIENCE

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SO MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THE ONE AND ONLY LENNY

"IT'S JUST TOO DANGEROUS LENNY!! Y-YOU COULD DIE!!"
Impostor Lenny trembled in fear as ZeroLenny's™ hand calmly hovered over to the temple's artefact.

"Oh for Goodness sake we haven't come all this way to leave empty handed, come on! Hold the bags open!!"

ZeroLenny™ and Impostor Lenny were deep inside the vast temples of Mount Spice. The temples were sure death traps for the normal adventurer, but the two Lenny's spent years planning this heist for years and they needed this more than any other. As well as being the last artefact required to perform "The Spice Ritual", it was also the entire centrepiece of the operation. Why the two didn't just get this first however is beyond me. Security was tight after news spreading of "The Two Spice Bandits" going to sacred grounds stealing immense objects from Spice recorded history.

It was 14 hours into the heist and the two had finally made it to the chamber room. Dense jungle vines violently sprawled through the decaying broken walls as piercing sunlight danced with the thick jungle air. The two perched themselves a top an old weathered alter which housed their final artefact.

"Y-you can't just take it Lenny! The amount of traps we've gone through to get here, it's bound to be rigged!!"
Impostor Lenny took a few precautionary steps back, clinging tightly to his last satchel of supplies and gear.

"You are just a massive wet wipe aren't you."
ZeroLenny™ smeared over his shoulder as he began preparing the artefact for removal. Impostor Lenny laughed the remark off nervously. ZeroLenny™ had clearly got to him.

"I'm almost done removing the traps off this anyway, so don't you worry your pretty little face, we'll be out before you can say Pizzi time"

Impostor Lenny anxiously calmed his tittering nerves while doing his best to stay on guard. The temples proved to be much more challenging than the two anticipated. If the deadly traps of the ancient Spice kingdom weren't enough, they also had to make it past the Temple Guard; Ancient Spice Warriors who live in secrecy sworn to protect that which they do not know.

A loud, satisfying clunk bounced through the room.

"T-That's it! Quick Lenny!! You need to get out of here now!"
ZeroLenny™ threw the artefact at Impostor Lenny, smacking firmly against his unaware skull.

"A-Alright! Let's get out of here... by the way what do you mean "You" have to get get out of here"

ZeroLenny™ turned to Impostor Lenny and smiled calmly. Impostor Lenny only caught so much as a glimpse of this as a hundred Spice Warriors descended into the temple chamber, weapons in hand.

"That's him! That's the absolute wet wipe I was telling you about!!"
ZeroLenny™ burst out laughing while steadying himself on the shoulder of one of the Warriors. They all joined in laughing at Lenny.

"Oh Lenny! Me and these guys go way back! It's completely fine!"

"B-BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE TRAPS?! PREPARATIONS?!"

"Yeaaa I just wanted to see you go through all that it was funny af wasn't it"
ZeroLenny™ turned to the Warriors as they laughed howlingly at Impostor Lenny

"There is one problem though! I have been part of this tribe for years! They accept me as part of the temple... but you're still an outsider."

"W-what..-"

"BOYS GET THIS INTERLOPER!!"

Without hesitation the warriors scrambled towards Impostor Lenny as he dashed for the exit, peeing his pants a little. Impostor Lenny glanced back to see ZeroLenny™ high fiving the Warrior leader.

After the moment settled, ZeroLenny™ and the Warrior Chief remained in the chamber

"... You know chief... I'm gonna miss him."
ZeroLenny™ sighed as he turned to the Warrior.

"Don't worry, you trained him well."

ZeroLenny™ sank to the floor, sitting carefully on the broken cobblestone flooring whilst lighting a cigar.

"Do I have to remind you of your duty Zerolenny? Never fight the Weeboos they are just too strong! The artefacts guide the way to Weeboo Island and if it were to be discovered-"

"No, you don't need to remind me."

"Look, I know you want to fight them, but you do know fighting them means certain death. A sacrifice must be made to stave off the Weeboo King.

But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yes."

ZeroLenny™ stared blankly at the temple walls. A single tear shed from his eye.

This is what happened next.