What have I been up to? · 7:09am Mar 13th, 2020
I've been asking myself the same question even though I know exactly what it is.
Last week, my credit card decided to decline to pay for my prepaid plan for my phone even though I've been making the payments and been having the same recurring charge monthly for at least two years. Then my carrier, AT&T, after my credit card gets the approval to actually pursue the transaction, decides to decline my payment. After initiating several attempts to renew the plan, I decided AT&T is trying to get an extra $5 out of me this month by pulling me out of the prepaid plan to try to let me renew.
So what do I do? I unlock my phone and order Consumer Cellular to get me started on the same plan but with an extra GB of data for $10 less than what I was previously paying. I'm still waiting on my SIM card to arrive in the mail, but still, I'm a happy camper now.
The bigger, and perhaps more relevant thing to you all, thing is that I've been devoting a lot of free time this week to a task presented by my DM during last Saturday's real-life session of D&D. For context, this DM hates when we make references, jokes, and puns to the point that he takes the liberty of dealing psychic damage to the characters every time it happens. Well, he does spare us sometimes, but that is few and far between, and generally the funniest jokes still get punished.
Anyway, we defeated a compelled wizard, and among the loot, we got a book he wrote as a hobby. It was written in a language our monk-bard character didn't understand, so my character, a necromancy wizard, is translating it for him in exchange for use of his Bag of Holding to hold skeleton bones. The name of the book? 101 Bad Wizard Jokes.
Not bad in the sense of being obscene or distasteful. Bad as in, wordplay, terribly contrived jokes, and memes of any degree of subtlety. I had a week to write 101 of them. I am now up to 95, but I'm a little stuck. 
I might be able to think of more, of course. However, I've been limiting myself to not looking up jokes on the internet and not taking suggestions. To varying degrees, I want to be the sole writer of this horrible book.
The greatest thing is, my DM probably thinks he's wringing me out of jokes, but it's only making my inner bard stronger.
While it has taken up substantial time I could've used to record, I've gotten to thinking: once this is done, I can easily voice this book. I'm not sure if anyone would be interested. These jokes are pretty D&D centric; I'm trying to work with the knowledge the wizard probably had access to. As such, references to things like Monty Python and Smash Mouth have to be sparing and not totally crucial to the jokes themselves. I don't know how the D&D community would receive it, either. Or if. I get the impression the online D&D group I'm a part of on Discord doesn't give a damn about anything I post, and I'm not sure Reddit would like it, either.
Still might be fun to record it for your own amusement.
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Oh yes. I will find this amusing to voice.
My DM last night said he didn't expect me do actually do this. He lets me do performance checks while reading from the book, though, so that's nice, although my wizard is not meant for that. XD