Gone to the Dark Side

Gone to the Dark Side...of sorts.

Been saving up, and just bought a fitbit versa 2. Mostly--very mostly--for the heart and sleep monitoring functions...cuz when you have five sleep disorders, cardiac arrhythmia and AFib, well...

...inquiring minds just wanna know.

Surprisingly--or, perhaps, not-so-surprisingly, especially for those who also possess one (or is that possessed by one? )--when I opened the box I was pleased to see a rather thick booklet enclosed. Now who of us just doesn't enjoy sitting right down and diving into the instructions and manual on their brand-spanking-new electronic device?

I'm gonna guess not many...as that "thick booklet" was fifty-six pages of thirteen different language versions of "Don't-do-this-because-if-you-do-anyway-and-get-hurt-you-can't-sue-us", without a single useful direction a'tall.

They do, however--and on the first page, too! Yowsa!--helpfully direct: "For product and troubleshooting information, visit help.fitbit.com"...which I did.

Now, I'd like to think I'm fairly sharp with learning new things; I'm certainly not a Neo-Luddite, after all. And especially so when it's something that fascinates me (I remember startling a pilot when I rattled off the preflight and startup sequence for the B17-G bomber that he and his crew flew for air shows). But, this?

Ga-aaah!

I need to find a ten-year-old and have them show me how to set all the blasted options on this!