Strong breakdown at the end of "Miracles from Heaven"

I just finished watching the movie "Miracles from Heaven" with my family; it's about a little girl named Annabelle (Anna) who suffers from an incurable stomach condition. She falls down a tree while climbing it and is knocked unconscious. When she comes to in the hospital, her medical condition, that kept her in pain through most of the movie, was completely gone.

There is a scene in which Anna is describing what happened after she hit her head. She saw a vision of herself outside her body, and she sees a vision of clouds opening, revealing a light (which, of course, is God). In between, she is walking through a garden paradise, and it's hard not to see God's love in it all. I began to question why anyone would want to deny themselves such love, and such beautiful love at that.

At that point and afterwards, I felt a very strong emotion roll over me, and I found it hard to stop crying. I am constantly struggling with whether I am saved or not. I keep putting too much time into gaming, neglecting my memeres (grandmothers) by forgetting or just deciding not to call them, and getting angry when people interrupt me. In addition, I fail to exercise a lot, meaning I'm approaching 280 pounds by now. Given this and more, I can't help but wonder...?

I thought of Jesus on His cross, between me and this light that was showing between the clouds. I thought of a sword, a shout, falling upon Him, and I kept crying.

I thought of Him telling me He loved me. I responded by telling Him I was a sinner. I heard a voice in my thoughts ask if I loved Him. When I said yes, the voice in my mind told me that my sins were wiped out. Later, it happened again in a slightly different form; I call myself a fool (which I'm constantly considering myself to be, given my upside down... ways. Again, I thought of Him, or a voice, specifically telling me that I was a sinner, and a fool, no longer.

As the movie began to end, shortly after that, and since then, I've felt a peace. I know that it's probably not going to last in this life, and I have distant fears that I'm being mislead; after all, the enemy is willing to disguise himself as an agent of righteousness. And emotions and feelings might or might not be signs of salvation.

But I still feel that this was too important, however ephemeral or distant or hard to sympathize as it may seem to others, to not share the experience. Maybe it was just me thinking this all up, but...

To finish this all off, Anna at one point is in a hospital room with another little girl who is also suffering from a disease, one that tragically proves to be fatal. The girl asks Anna why she want the cross necklace that she possesses to be near her, and Anna tells her about Jesus. The girl's dad asks Anna's mother not to let this happen again, and later Anna goes back to Texas and the big, climactic scenes happen. Sadly, as I said, this man's daughter dies, but he hears about the miracle that happened to Anna and goes all the way to the church in Texas. After Anna's mother tells Anna's story, a couple of people say that they don't believe it, that this might be all for publicity. This man, whose daughter (Hadley, I think her name was) died, speaks up. He tells the congregation that he believes Anna's mother; he tells us that his daughter died, but that in the final days of her life, she was at peace because she was with God.

The final message of the movie is that we either treat life as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle. Anna's family, at the end of the movie, is treating everything as a miracle. Not in the silly ways that can be thought up by people, but simply trusting that all life, all that is, all the good that still shines in a sin-stained world, is miraculous, and that nothing is brought about by chance. Not the friendships they make throughout this whole adventure, not the small yet fortunate things that happen, not the final accident itself - none of it is brought about except by the grace of God.

May God guide us to Himself through Christ the Lord, and may we accept His invitation to eternal life and submit to Him. Amen.