I'm thinking of moving away · 12:32pm Nov 5th, 2019
Long story short, this whole set-up I've got going on at the moment...it just won't do for me.
Whenever I record, be it readings, audio diaries or music, I've come to realise that there's no place to do it without contaminating my audio. Reason? The people I live with are obnoxiously loud, and the area I currently stay in has a massive amount of chavs on moped traffic at the moment, along with a bunch of wannabe yobos drag racing in the hours of the night, which is the only time I get to record anymore.
At least, that's part of the reason. For details I can't quite get into, the town I've lived in all my life has got so many bad scars on my mind for me to want to stay, and I can't go a day without being scared or weary about what's going to happen next, or if I'm going to accidentally bump into somebody I know I shouldn't have anything to do with, and it does happen quite often. That's the trouble with a small town - most people know who you are and nothing is unheard of. Truth be told, I only want to be left alone to do what I want.
I can't work under these conditions, nor can I find the correct mind to have the will to stay and struggle through it all like I've done all my life. I have done nothing but do stuff for other people, always putting myself second on the priorities list, and I was once told by somebody that you have to be selfish sometimes. So, here it is - from now on, I'm only going to do what I want, a little time for myself to get myself back on-track with my life and to get something out of my career. All I want is peace of mind and to relieve my pent-up stress, anger and anxiety, get away from all that drags me down. After all I've done for everybody close to me, I should at least be able to ask for some space.
So, whenever I can pool the money, resources and the precious time, I'm going to be searching for a way out. I want to leave town one day, actually begin my life anew someplace with a clean slate. I don't want to make the same mistakes and bad choices others in my family have made, and I hopefully might find a place to settle down for good where I'm free to be me. One day, I'll get there. For now, I'm going to scrounge about for an opportunity to help me take the first step.
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With love, from The United Dreamdom,
- FireRain 💛
(Qua sera, sera, whatever will be will be. The future's not ours to see, qua sera, sera.)
I can empathise. So many Yorkshire towns I go to are traffic nightmares; good luck parking in Keighley!
Even Nottingham isn't safe from idiots on motorised bicicyles.
5150883
Meh, sounds better in comparison to Cardiff and Manchester, or worse; Grimsby. Oh, Lordy, that last one lives up to its name! So bleak, outdated and dark that it's constantly a Scare Fest over there! It can't just be me, right? Doesn't it seem like there are more chavs riding mopeds and more gobby, troublesome teens with anger issues and a mean streak which makes them incite a riot with everyone they meet for the sake of a fight? That's what it's like where I am. Welcome to Paradise!
Oh, and never mind Nottingham; what about Cottingham?! Blimey...
5150933
A lot of the old industrial towns have that, and to be honest I don't blame them.