Ranking the Writers of Season 9 (From Worst to Best)

The final season of the show certainly had an interesting mix of writers, some returning, some new, and a lot of the usual suspects we've come to see in recent years. But of the fifteen total writers, which ones fared the best and the worst? And how do they all stack up? Well, that's what we're going to find out. Remember that we're only talking about the writers of Season 9, not all the writers of the entire show (that's a list for another time and place, but we will get to it), and like all my lists this one is purely the result of my personal opinion.

15. Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim (Episodes written: A Horse Shoe-In)
Why he's on the bottom: It seems like in recent years the show tried to bring in writers not from other cartoons but rather from all sorts of other places, like plays, live actions shows, you name it. From what I can gather of Ariel's resume he mostly wrote for preschool shows, hardly preparing him to make the step up to something like this, especially so close to the end. But he made one of the worst mistakes you can ever make as a writer, contradicting your own continuity and moral. "Neoptism is bad" says the episode, right before it gives Sunburst the job because of that and disregards Octavia and Dr. Whooves trying out for a job they knew would be a full time responsibility. And that doesn't begin to cover how badly Trixie's character is butchered here. I guess maybe an added problem of the increased turnaround for seasons is that they hired people who had no experience with shows like this and no one ever bothered to help them settle in.

14. Brittany Jo Flores (Episodes written: A Trivial Pursuit)
Why she's not on the bottom: Brittany at least had written for the show before, and her previous episode had been "Once Upon a Zeppelin" one of the better episodes of Season 7's back half. So I can see why she came back and why she was given a Twilight Sparkle episode. It's just too bad that she ended up being the one to take Twilight's character to a new low, and ruin several others characters in the process. Seriously, there was not a single character besides Spike who I could root for in "A Trivial Pursuit". They were all either dumb, selfish, blatantly cheating, or sometimes even a mix of them. It was a harsh fall from grace for her.

13. Kaita Mpambara (Episodes written: 2, 4, 6, Greaaat)
Why he's in the bottom three: So many people acted surprised when "2, 4, 6, Greaaat" turned out bad with Kaita at the helm, but to me I simply say:

This is the writer who went from "Horse Play" to "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place" last season, it was obvious at that point that Kaita had lost his way. And this simply proved that he couldn't recover. I mean, "2, 4, 6, Greaaat" wasn't as stupid as "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place" but it still wasn't good. I guess maybe others just didn't see the signs in "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place" like I did, maybe they chose to see something I didn't. But it seems Kaita was a writer who peeked with his first episode and it was all downhill from there.

12. Nicole Dubac (Episodes written: Uprooted, Sparkle's Seven (Collab with Josh Haber, story by Ashliegh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St. Germain, Tara Strong, and Cathy Wesluck), The Last Crusade, Daring Doubt, The Ending of the End Part 1)
Why she's so low: I'm thoroughly convinced that Nicole only got her job in the first place because she was such good friends with Josh Haber and Michael Vogel, and that's why she was always paired up with them. Sadly, if Haber and Vogel could learn one thing from Dubac it's that there's a reason why they say don't work with friends. If you're not willing to question their decisions or let them work with others, if you're not willing to say no to them, then you're going to let yourself be compromised way too easily and usually not for the better. Nicole always seemed to have a tendency to, if left to her own devices, rewrite continuity to make characters do whatever she wanted. She got lucky with "The Last Crusade" because that was partially her continuity she was working with, everything else was the continuity of others. I don't blame her entirely for the twist with Grogar, that was a decision on the show staff's part and poor Nicole was just the one who was given the task of making it happen. Mind you, it doesn't say what the twist was supposed to be in regards to Discord's motivations, so it's possible Nicole rewrote that to suit her own needs.

11. Kim Beyer-Johnson (Episodes written: Sweet and Smoky. Specials written: Rainbow Roadtrip)
Why she's in the bottom five: If "Sweet and Smoky" were all we had to go on she'd probably be lower, but even though "Rainbow Roadtrip" was ultimately bland and uninspiring (it looks great but the story was way too slow and the stakes too low for us to care) considering this is the same writer who penned the worst episode of Season 8, seeing her go from terrible to passable is an improvement. I've always said I'll take something meh over something bad any day. Even so, you can't say it's much of an improvement so much as it is not getting worse.

10. Gillian M. Berrow (Episodes written: The Point of No Return)
Why she's in the top ten: I think I've pinned down the problem for Berrow, her writing never changed from when she wrote for the chapter books to writing for the show. Her writing always followed a series of little snippets that could probably fit into a chapter book nicely. But you can't exactly write an episode for a show the same way you do a chapter book, and I don't think Berrow ever learned that. Sadly, "The Point of No Return" is not a great send off for her, especially when she's stopped writing those chapter books (her last one involved Twilight and a town of books, not too bad but not really a good send off). I suppose I can't blame her for trying to rehash a popular episode, but as is often the case with rehashes Berrow missed what made the original work.

9. Dave Rapp (Episodes written: Going to Seed)
Why he's above the top ten: Dave Rapp wrote for the Apple family before so it probably made sense to cast him to write for this episode, but he seemed unsure of himself here. The writing didn't really know what it wanted to do, it seemed like it was supposed to be an Apple Bloom episode and changed to an Applejack one last minute. The fact that all it took to solve the issue was a compromise shows how weak the story is. Maybe they were hoping the flashback with the Apple parents would make up for it, but in that case the animators messed up and used the wrong models, thus creating huge continuity errors (it seems there were a lot more animation mistakes this season, which lends further proof to the idea that Season 9 was rushed). But considering he started out with the infamous "Newbie Dash" him going out on a meh note might just be an improvement.

8. Ed Valentine (Episodes written: Growing Up is Hard to Do)
Why he's high: I can cut Ed a little bit of slack, this was a shelved script that served as his final outing and he didn't seem to be aware of what had transpired in the show in his absence (can someone please keep lines of communication open whenever writers leave to work on other projects if they plan to come back? The movie shows what can happen when you don't communicate). Even so, even though he was comfortable with the CMC, Ed's script needed way more tweaking than it got (probably just changed a line or two). And there's only so much that can be excused by the shelved script. Still, at least unlike M. A. Larson Ed didn't have to worry about someone else taking his script, retooling it, and then publishing it without consulting him.

7. Brian Hohlfeld (Episodes written: She's All Yak)
Why he's not higher: Brian is apparently a friend of Michael Vogel, which is how he got the job writing for the show. I'm not sure how many others writers who hung around were friends of Haber and Vogel, but it seems to have been a great deal of them according to fans. If so then that presents a major problem, Lauren Faust assembled a team of writers she was familiar with (with the exception of Charlotte Fullerton who she had never worked with before) but not necessarily was friends with, writers who she knew to be good or even great. If Haber and Vogel only cared about friends and ignored all other qualities, then stuff like this was bound to happen. I will say that Brian wasn't terrible in his only episode this season, "She's All Yak" was passable, it just started running out of steam and then fell apart in the third act. But it's a major step down when he was the only writer in Season 8 not to have a bad episode under his belt.

6. Gail Simone (Episodes written: Between Dark and Dawn)
Why she's not in the top five: Gail Simone is a pretty big comic writer, particularly for Wonder Women. But she also had work on both Justice League Unlimited and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Considering how popular superheroes are now I can't blame them for picking a writer from two D.C. animated projects (D.C. seems to do better with animation than they do live action, the opposite of Marvel). Gail didn't do a bad job, but her script could've used some polish to truly be successful. The biggest problem with it is that the A and B plots didn't connect to each other, and the B plot undermined the entire concept of the season by making Twilight look incompetent and unable to do even the most basic of responsibilities as a leader. Plus, did we really need another episode of the royal sisters bickering? It's understandable why Gail got picked to write an episode, and interviews seem to suggest the show staff were impressed they could get her. Maybe if they thought to reach out to her sooner they could've brought her on as an infrequent guest writer?

5. Nick Confalone (Episodes written: She Talks to Angel. Specials written: Equestria Girls: Spring Breakdown)
Why he's in the top five: I'm glad Nick stepped away from the Equestria Girls franchise because "Spring Breakdown" showed that he was losing his touch very fast. "She Talks to Angel" was a slight improvement, moreso for the comedy than the story. The story wasn't bad but it was following the "Freaky Friday" body swap plot to the letter with very little deviation. And the show's always been great in the past about taking old concepts and putting a fresh spin on them. It's a good send off for Nick after Season 8 seemed to suggest he was teetering on the brink of collapse, but it's not quite a return to where he was in Season 7 and after "Forgotten Friendship" when everything seemed to be coming up roses for him.

4. Michael P. Fox and Will Fox (Episodes written: The Last Laugh)
Why they're not in the top three: "The Last Laugh" was a truly fitting way for the Fox brothers to end their tenure on the show. They were the ones who a season ago brought Pinkie Pie down to a new low with "Yakity Sax", so it was fitting that their last episode would be the one that brought her back into the limelight and truly made her character great again. I feel ashamed for not liking their effort better, they proved to be great at working with Weird Al on Cheese Sandwich, but the episode's story kind of worked against it. It was a serious look at depression that the show just wasn't equipped to handle. Plus, the tacked on bit of Pinkie wondering what her life's purpose is feels pointless in the grand scheme of things. She really didn't need it when she was perfectly content as she was and had plenty of things to define her.

3. Joanna Lewis and Kristine Songco (Episodes written: The Beginning of the End Parts 1 and 2)
Why they're in the top three: After they were absent in Season 8 fans wanted desperately for these two to come back for Season 9, and lo and behold the fandom's prayers were answered. Lewis and Songco finally got to do a big two parter (I still suspect they were going to do that in Season 7 with "Celestial Advice" before Hasbro told them they were not getting a two parter and were getting two back to back episodes instead) and I kind of wish they'd been allowed to see what they started through to the end. Maybe they could've sold us on the Grogar was Discord twist in a way that Nicole Dubac couldn't. However, as fantastic as "The Beginning of the End" was I don't think it was the kind of send off Lewis and Songco were looking for, especially since the two parter felt at times like it was borrowing notes from other two parters, particularly "The Crystal Empire" and "Princess Twilight Sparkle".

2. Michael Vogel (Episodes written: Frenemies, The Summer Sun Setback, The Big Mac Question (Collab with Josh Haber), The Ending of the End Part 2)
Why he's not on the top: Vogel definitely redeemed himself in Season 9 after "The Mean Six" in Season 8 raised questions about whether he was still a good writer. He wrote two of the strongest episodes of Season 9, even if they're both hurt in retrospective by Discord as Grogar. And it was no surprise he and Josh Haber would team up for an episode, the two have been basically running the show since Season 6. But Vogel got stuck up with clean up duty for the second half of "The Ending of the End" and you can tell he was just trying to get through it quickly. Much like Dubac he was just the poor sap left holding the bag when the show staff decided on the twist, but even though he didn't have the Rainbow of Light turn the Legion of Doom to stone right then and there in the final battle he still saw nothing wrong with Discord letting it happen or Cozy Glow getting it even though we still knew nothing about her. Those things aren't particularly bad stains, but they do hold him back just a little bit.

1. Josh Haber (Episodes written: Sparkle's Seven (Collab with Nicole Dubac, story by Ashliegh Ball, Andrea Libman, Tabitha St. Germain, Tara Strong, and Cathy Wesluck), Common Ground, Student Counsel, Dragon Dropped, The Big Mac Question (Collab with Michael Vogel), The Last Problem)
Why he's on the top: With the exception of "Dragon Dropped" being confusing and medicore with its decision to treat SpikexGabby platonically even though it's supposed be the final addressing of Sparity, Haber was on a roll this entire season. His episodes were strongly written and he really seemed to know how to bring out the best in other characters. It's no surprise that Meghan McCarthy's designated successor would be the one to close out the show, and he did a fantastic job with it. As a writer he was absolutely incredible here, but it seems he may not have been the best show runner (Meghan McCarthy seemed to run a bit tighter of a ship when she was at the helm, only in Season 4 did it seem like she was letting stuff slip through the cracks). But as a writer, and for Season 9, he was fantastic and worthy of the top spot!

And there you have it, come back tonight when we'll update Friendship is Magic's Wall of Shame to include episodes from Season 9.