The never ending cycle of Progress

The more that I write the more I feel like I get a better sense for the characters and their motivations along with what works and what doesn’t. Something that I realized and needed to rectify early on was writing solo chapters with a single perspective and nothing else. The writing in Silver Eclipse’s introductory chapter is especially annoying to re read because it just comes off as big blocks of expository text with no real space for character development. Here’s a little preview of one of his first chapters in the continuation story, where I’ve introduced a character to help break up the exposition and give Silver’s dialogue something to play off of.

This doesn’t necessarily spoil anything but I’ve cut a few small things out to avoid potentially linking to future plot points so early.

Here, in his own dream, he could have a limitless new world to study. As much as he was weary of the vast unknown that the Dream realm consisted of, there was certainly an interesting call to it. That bitter feeling continued to nag at him, but he ignored it like he always did.

“You know, you don’t have to keep yourself locked away in here all the time.” Came a voice from behind Silver.

Without even turning to greet the mysterious intruder, Silver sternly replied “And you know you don’t need to check up on me like a child all the time.”

“Well that’s not a very nice way to greet me.” The stranger said flatly, moving around to observe the detail of the library that surrounded him. “Jules Verne, H.G. Welles… some fine authors indeed. You know I’m quite the fan of their work myself?

“You arrived unannounced and uninvited, if you want to know how I’m doing, I’m fine. You can either stay or leave, but I’d rather not argue on the matter. I don’t go meddling with your affairs so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t meddle with mine.”

“I could argue that I’m well within my rights to be here, but I’ll look past that this time. I’ll just say this though, what you’re experiencing could be considered one of the worst torments for a Night Pony to endure, being cut off from dreamwalking, yet you willingly confine yourself to your own dreams, in a prison of your own making. It’s a marvelous prison, and you certainly show some great talent, but it’s a prison nonetheless which keeps me asking… Why? I’m quite positive that it’s driving you mad so why keep up the act when you have the full power to end your suffering?”

“Let’s just say that I have my own reasons and I’ll leave it at that. I’m sure you could piece it together for yourself eventually.”

“That’s fair enough I suppose… Just consider it ok? It’s not healthy to keep to yourself here like you’ve been doing. At the very least we could talk about things from time to time, just so you’re not alone constantly.”

Silver dropped his cold facade for a brief moment, knowing that the intruder only had his best interests in mind.

“Listen, I really appreciate these talks. I really do. I’m sorry if I ever come off as cold, it’s just… so much has changed in such a short amount of time… I don’t always know who I can trust nowadays.”

“It’s understandable, I really appreciate the honesty. The offer still stands, if you should ever need me, I’m sure you know how to find me.”

The intruder seemed to have vanished almost as soon as he had arrived, leaving Silver alone to his thoughts once more.

Rather than having a block of text saying that he is lonely and slowly losing his mind by willingly cutting himself off from dream walking, there’s a character that shows actual concern for his reclusive ways and confronts him about it, leading to Silver realizing this fact for himself in a more organic way.

There’s still a lot to plan going forward, but I feel like I already have a better idea of what each character is going to go through and deal with throughout the story. I don’t know when I’m going to do this, but I’d like to eventually go back and polish the current three chapters in “Dreamers” before finishing it off and setting up the continuation as it’s own story.