One can wonder what kind of cutie mark I might get .....

Because here on Earth things I do best (apparently keeping my OS in state *I* want it to be, aesthetically and partially functionally) and things I realize I must do best (fixing humans, not OSes from widespread vulnerabilities, ones allowing their own continued exploitation under nice name, and 'traditional' abuse of others, with new 'traditions' of just slightly cloaked sucking from everyone just emerging and emerging .. from this 'animal therapy' to animal activism, or political activism) basically not intersect. In Equestria (at least versions where ponies really someone different from wrongly-shaped humans) this situations should not occur at least in such pathological incarnation: if their society not as fcked down as our, and their basic motivations about beings, not things.. then I will have much less to fix, much more comrades to help me out (because they recognize why I'm angry at basically fatal tendencies - something to really worry about even if in small numbers!), and much less stubborn resistance to very those changes while praising diversity and progress (as it happens here on Earth). Also, in canon ponies got their cutie marks close to childhood/adulthood line, yet it all assuming they mature like humans.. and count maturity like (dominant today) type of humans... I obviously prefer to measure maturity by depth of thinking and actions..not just by theoretical ability to 'make' children {actually only making very stat of the process few truely understand and many even unable to follow fully over time) as early as biologically possible. So, yes, sign of adult, but what kind of adult, and what really must be criteria for ponies themselves (assuming their history was NOT mirror of our mistakes!) to call one adult, even internally?

I really cannot reassure myself feeling good in failing, fundamentally hopeless (but filled with false hopes) world is serving anyone. I have no world to return to, and no world to escape/move to.

Another day I had this rare (for me) little fantasy/dream involving, yeah, sort of librarian pony, I just wanted to go down to her..assuming I was still human and pony was canonically-small. On top of this I basically self-corrected myself 'library' might be not library as we used to imagine it at all, but ..literally anything, from memory/life storing place to just place where live beings (ponies and not) have longtypes of emotional and intellectual interconnections.

In short, I don't dream about ponies like most humans dream, I dream about any..being(s) who will be able to liberate humans from their useful (psychologically-speaking) chains, so they will stop playing live tools for their own worst exemplars .....