Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil (1991) · 2:35am Dec 14th, 2018
When I look back on my life there are a few things I regret. There are certain girls I've dated that I wish I hadn't, things I've said that I'd prefer that I hadn't said and certain movies I've seen that I can't watch again due to certain things that happened while they were playing (including the fact that they sucked).
A day ago I added a new item to that list and I warn any of you who might be interested in it to avoid my mistake. So as a public service announcement I am warning anybody who reads this blog to not listen to Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica. Trust me when I say you're in for a bad time if you do.
See I've listened to bad music before. It's not uncommon for me to come across somebody inept out there. There are tons of folks like that. This album however, I could feel the exact spot in my brain that was being caused anguish. It was behind the right frontal lobe about midway down. From that point I could feel it just radiate though whatever sources of blood fed that area to the middle of my brain. Suffice it to say I did very little today other than sleep. So yeah... avoid that album.
Speaking of things to avoid you might also want to avoid the prom too especially if you attend Hamilton High (Go Big Blue!). I'm not saying you won't get to dance, I'm just saying you might die. Then again Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil ... for the most part doesn't take place at a high school prom.
See apparently sometime during the 1950s a crazed priest infused with evil murdered some folks at that prom. He used a crucifix turned blade to murder a couple doing the backseat tango when clearly it was time for the bunny hop. When captured by the church he gives another priest a big wet kiss and is confined on opiates for decades. Apparently evil is the ultimate fountain of youth because the dude never ages and gets some sweet long hair.
Anyway, fast forward some time and he escapes to torment some more teens (I uses this term loosely) at a family summer home that used to be where the evil Father Jonas used to reside. In fact the only part of this movie that takes place at the prom is when said "teens" pull up to it in a limo and one of them hangs his butt out the window. From that point on the usual stuff happens. That said I do give Father Jonas some credit.
If it weren't for him and his ability to have flaming crosses happen out of nowhere, his dialog, hand bleeding and cross throwing ninja action there wouldn't be much to say about this one. He's kind of neat for an over the top bad guy. It's also interesting and kind of odd that in this movie the whole, "Catholic church covering up misconduct and murder," of a priest is also a thing. In a weird way while the overall plot of the movie is stock there are elements to it that sort of make it stand out. It's just different enough for me to go, "huh," to but not so ground breaking or amazing that I wanna put my red shoes on and dance to.
The Stats:
8 dead bodies
0 breasts
1 bare butt
throat slitting
chest stabbing
death by natural causes
strangulation
head squeezing
cross as a throwing star stabbing
car aardvarking ... cardvarking
open blind aardvarking
Glass fu
gun fu
explosion fu
bleeding hand fu
Shout outs:
James Carver as Father Jonas for just going for it and for delivering lines like "Save them... save them hol father. Let me save the sluts and whores," then goes out and kills folks.
Joy Tanner as Laura the gropey best friend of Megan who prays, "Dear God please forgive me I only pretended to enjoy it for Jeff's sake ... the second time too."
Alle Ghadban as Jeff for offering a toast to Jamie Lee Curtis.
Kenneth McGregor and Bill Jay as Father Jaeger and the Cardinal for lines like, "The church is very forgiving of its own," and "Take him to his room and make it look like he hanged himself."
Heh. I seen one of the Prom nights long ago. I cant remember which one. It had the dad from That 70's show on it. Something about a girl who becomes a ghost and wants her crown. I can't remember much of it. But it was pretty silly.
All these movies from when I was younger... This one doesn’t have “Garbage Day!” levels of cheese though.
He used the cross like a ninja star? Is that like the krull glaive being thrown?
4980887
That would be Hello Mary Lou! Prom Night II. However it's not the dad from That 70's Show that's in it. That actor is Kurtwood Smith of Robocop who played Clarence "Can you fly Bobby" Boddicker. The actor in Prom Night II is Michael Ironside who was Richter in Total Recall.
As far as Prom Night II goes it's ... kind of a mess. They do some neat effects but the movie doesn't know whether to try to be a comedy or a horror movie or ... what.
4980892
Nah it doesn't. When I was growing up I remember it being prominently featured at a local grocery store's rental section along with stuff like The Gate 2 and Trolls 2. Somehow I don't think that grocery store made much money off of their rental selection.
4980947
That acted more like a psychic boomerang if anything (which is awesome). I mean it did come back to him. This ... just kind of gets chucked and sticks in a dude.
4980987
Ahh Trolls 2, because Trolls was so successful...