How am I supposed to grieve?

My father died in front of me. I had just started to reconnect with him too. Sure, we fought viciously but at the end of the day he was still my father.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to cope with it. Mom's in tears and I've been vomiting and cursing God's name for the past few hours. I don't know how to deal with my feelings right now, and my chest feels like I've been stabbed in the heart and lungs.

The picture is because Dad (James Paul Culp Sr) loved frogs.