Christine (1983) · 9:51pm Jun 26th, 2018
According to IMDB these are the bottom ten rated episodes of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic show from lowest to least lowest.
1. Non-Compete Clause
2. What About Discord?
3. Princess Spike
4. Somepony to Watch Over Me
5. The Cart Before the Ponies
6. The Mysterious Mare Do Well
7. Applejack's "Day" Off
8. 28 Pranks Later
9. The Crystalling - part 1
10. Newbie Dash
Here are mine:
1. What About Discord?
2. To Change a Changeling
3. Flutter Brutter
4. Over a Barrel
5. Somepony to Watch Over Me
6. Party Pooped
7. The Crystalling 1&2
8. Shadow Play 1&2
9. The Times They are a Changeling
10. Daring Don't
Obviously there are some differences. For me, Non-Compete Clause wasn't that bad. It's well put together and while it does rehash some stuff from a previous episode it's nothing criminal. Heck it was the first time I'd seen a changeling do something truly useful in awhile and she did it twice. The flying piranha thing was great. We learned that Yaks have a pungent odor (which makes sense because Rutherford stinks as a character).
Princess Spike, The Cart Before the Ponies and Applejack's "Day" Off weren't rage so bad that they were rage inducing for me. In fact one could argue that Cart was more of a lesson for parents who take over the activities of their kids than anything. Princess Spike had some moments but was mostly just something that I didn't feel one way or another on and "Day" Off just was a thing that happened. In that episode it was nice to see other ponies just kind of look at Spoiled Rich like, "Whatever lady. None of us really cares."
As far as 28 Pranks Later, Mysterious Mare Do Well and Newbie Dash were fine. I don't dislike any of these because frankly if any of the ponies deserves to get ego checked hard it's Dash. She's the Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco/Johnson of Equestria, very talented at what she does well but is a pain in the ass too. In fact I enjoyed 28 Pranks Later, the zombie references were great.
With my bottom ten What about Discord is just an episode that fails on every level. It's not funny, it doesn't connect with the audience and it ultimately amounts to nothing.
Skipping to the two parters on here I count those as one episode because frankly it's just a long episode and it's not like there was a cliff hanger here. In The Crystalling is forgettable mostly but it's bad because it weakened every character in it a ton. Celestia and Luna can't defeat snow. The rest of the ponies flap their legs around not sure what to really do until the dingus with the glasses shows them the way even though he blows at magic. Shadow Play is just the cookie cutter formulaic two part episode that goes, bad guy gets loose because... reasons... good guys shoot it with a magic blast. I think I went to the john and didn't bother pausing it because I'd seen this before... pretty much every season. It was a snore from a villain that literally did nothing. Such a threat.
Daring Don't, Party Pooped and Somepony to Watch Over Me just didn't work. I've never liked the the whole "Daring Do is real" thing that they did. It's always felt forced and it felt particularly forced in that episode. Somepony to Watch Over Me was irritating with how ridiculously over protective they made AJ for no real reason other than Applebloom is young. If instead we had a reason like... Applejack left her parents alone one day and then tragedy struck the farm it could have been an understandable episode. As it stood it was just irksome. Party Pooped was bad because Rutherford was an asshole and while he did "redeem" to a point it was too little too late.
The Times They are a Changeling ... Spike sings a song and everybody forgets all the crap Chrysalis and company did and decide they can get along with Thorax and other "reformed" changelings. Hey singing a song worked in France that one time right? Oh wait it didn't and was a worldwide joke. Good one guys.
That Leaves Flutter Brutter, To Change a Changeling and Over a Barrel. Over a Barrel almost made me quit watching the show. The situation in that episode could have been avoided entirely by either party writing a letter to Celestia and saying we have a problem. If she's good at anything it's talking and getting folks to work stuff out one way or another. Instead we have the bison trying to derail trains which could very well kill a bunch of folks all because they really didn't try to come to the table and explain what was up in the first place. I'm glad we never really went back to them.
To Change a Changeling... I've complained about this one before. So I'll just leave it at ... I'd rather spend an hour in a hot tub with Prince Rutherford than one minute in that hive with those changelings. I can plug my nose while stewing with the yak. I can't unsee that episode.
Finally Flutter Brutter. I hate Zephyr Breeze more than Thorax and that's saying something. At least I can say that, Thorax is a nice guy that if he weren't the head of the changelings and they weren't a bunch of retarded hippies now I'd be fine with shooting the breeze with. Zephyr is that annoying asshole that you've met once or twice in your life who you just want to see fail and hard. Now you may not wish death upon them (though if you do it's understandable) but you want them to go through so many hard times that it breaks them and you don't really care if they recover.
I've know this person. I remember when we'd stopped talking how at one point I got an email from him. Enough years had passed that I thought, "Hey maybe he's grown up." No. The email was asking if I'd co-sign a loan for him so he could take his DJ skills to Japan. I kid you not. Of course I deleted the email. Screw that guy and screw Zephyr Breeze.
Well... all of that got me revved up. Almost as revved up as a 1958 Plymouth Fury.
Arnie Cunningham (Stuart Gordon) is a nerd with very strict parents and has to deal with a group of bullies led by Buddy Repperton (William Ostrander). According to the book Repperton had failed his sophomore year of high school a number of times which is why he looks much older than the rest of the group. Fortunately for Arnie he has his friend Dennis (John Stockwell) who has his back and eventually he has a used car in Christine.
Unfortunately for Arnie, Christine is evil. She was born evil in Michigan and is jealous of anybody who tries to take her owner away. Christine is vengeful and more or less possesses Arnie leaving Dennis and a girl named Leigh to try and defeat the car.
This may sound silly to people these days. I mean, a killer car movie? Who'd want to see that in theaters. Well, to get a sense of what was going on at the time have some backstory.
Back in the early 1980's Stephen King books were selling faster than they could print them, however the movies were flopping about like dead fish at the box office. In an attempt to score a major hit King let producer Richard Kobritz take a look at two manuscripts. The first was this one the second was Cujo. Kobritz passed on Cujo but liked the idea of a killer car. The script for the movie then began to take shape.
Once the script was done it was time to hire a director. Kobritz decided to hire John Carpenter who was out of work. See his movie The Thing had tanked both critically and commercially and he really needed work. They then set out to hire the perfect actor to play Arnie Cunningham. Enter Kevin Bacon... who would call them shortly after getting the job to star in Footloose. So ... enter Stuart Gordon.
The movie was made and it turned a profit albeit not as the smash hit that studios were hoping for. Critics liked it well enough and at the time thought it to be a return to form for Carpenter after the disaster that was The Thing. Does the movie hold up today?
It kind of does. The acting is solid for the most part. Some of the camera shots are good. My favorite is of the flaming Fury chasing Repperton along the dark street. It's really quite impressive. The music is top notch as well with lots of classic songs thrown in.
That said the movie isn't the most action packed. It's not even the most terrifying thing I've ever seen either. Mostly you're just sitting around waiting for the car to do something and at times it feels like the movie is really dragging. Especially since there isn't any suspense to build up. We know who the killer is. We know how it's going to act or react to things. So, you mostly just end up waiting and watching Cunningham just get angrier about stuff.
In the end, much like a lot of the MLP episodes that people don't like but I'm fine with Christine is just a very middle of the road movie. It's good enough I didn't dislike it but it's not good enough that I want to own it or watch it regularly Even though the flaming car scene is very cool. That said the movie is what it is. Take it or leave it.
The Stats:
7 Dead Bodies, 0 breasts, 14 real life Plymouth Furies in various states of repair were smashed, 1 asphyxiation, 1 fat guy split in half, 1 hit and roll, seat crushing, explosion fu, rock n' roll fu, parent fu, bully fu, car fu, bulldozer fu, gratuitous football game, gratuitous weird/mean old people.
Shout outs:
Christine, the Plymouth Fury has more personality than any of the actors in the movie and 99 percent of the cars today.
Stuart Gordon as Arnie Cunningham as the nerdy kid who grows a set of lug nuts even if he is obsessed with his demonic car.
Robert Prosky as Will Darnell for letting Arnie keep his car in his garage and using colorful language.
John Stockwell as Dennis a the star football player who loses everything in football and still tries to go mano y machina with the car.
It’s amazing that The Thing tanked, it is a good movie. As for this, it always upset me when the car enters the alleyway. They ruined the paint job. Ruined it.
And I just... don’t understand... why no one likes Over a Barrel, the Gotta Share, Gotta Care song is my favorite.
They didn’t really return to several of the season 1 races, did they? Diamond Dogs and Bison are mia at the school of friendship.
Anyways, there’s onviously no accounting for my taste, or lack thereof.
4890357
Well, we all like what we like. Most people are okay with Over a Barrel. I just don't like it because much like the Zecora episode it's just such a forced episode and moral that could have been easily resolved well beforehand. I think the Zecora episode was just funnier overall. Those "curses" were pretty funny to me.
As far as the return of the other races, I agree with you. Where are the goats? Why is it that cows aren't there let alone the ones you've mentioned. The only thing I figure is out of sight out of mind unfortunately.
Finally regarding The Thing I agree with you. I own it. I also own the 1950s version and enjoy both of them. Heck another movie that tanked at the box office that I enjoy is Big Trouble in Little China. Yet... the Twilight movies, Smurfs, etc. Made a ton of cash. Go figure.
4890394
I like a lot of the John Carpenter works. Especially Biiiig Trouble.... in Little Chin-ah. Does it help that his band did the theme song?
As for The Thing, I guess it depends on whether it’s narrated or not. The narrated version is awful. Just awful. If that’s what they played in theatres, then no wonder. But if it’s the version I know and love, where Blaire doesn’t say anything in that last scene, then it’s spectacular.
As for the missing races, mules have vanished, but two donkeys are main background characters. The consistency is frightening.
I was more worried about the changelings no longer being black. I think it was a horrible message to equate black changelings with bad. They could have easily made them look non evil without the color changes to clown central.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/6/22/1468884/large.png
As for the hippie thing, I predicted that free love was what would set the changelings free as far back as Taco Sonata. Now who could have predicted that?
I actually can’t think of any of the episodes that I really didn’t like. Mostly since I don’t watch them repeatedly. I think Griffon the Brushoff was one, due to the outright cruelty. Zephyr Breeze is someone we all know and, far too often, they don’t reform as he did... sort of.
4890487
If I remember correctly the version with the narrator is the television version which also added back in deleted scenes because the gore was cut and they needed to fill in run time. Sometimes they do stuff like that. One example of them adding some deleted scenes to a television version was Halloween II. One of the more notable additions was when Lance Guest's character sits up in the ambulance next to Curtis and it's like a happy ending. Well as happy as it could be I suppose.
Black would have been better. I mean... you could show that now that they didn't have holes they were "complete." I also don't tend to watch most of these episodes more than once either but I can remember them pretty well with some prompting. I guess that falls under the category of if it really matters I don't remember it.