Various ramblings about books, dolphins, society and magic.

Yeah ...may be I can write again! Not stories about ponies, but at least formulate some of my thinking in written form. Is writing by itself magic, for both reader and writer? I think yes, at least for humans. We have different results when we can revisit our thinking several times, and slow ourselves down from real-time voice/speech conversation.. So, text you worked on for few hours (alone or with someone else) looks quite more polished than transcript of chat. I was told whole art of philosophy was born thanks to written language. may be this is human-only limitation, and other beings with different types of memory and different limitations can do philosophy without books (as you can imagine I look at dolphins and co). But writing definitely may help us to formulate ourselves, even shape ourselves..and sometimes others! And here comes a bit darker part ...Are books (ideas inside those books) help us, or they enslave us? I think they can do both, and we must be careful when reading, because author for example can repeat most common mistake about something (like, humans can't survive without meat, or how our technology is only way to fix our problems ... our real problems today not in lack of technology, and capitalism is over-rated for helping innovations, and underrated for damage it does to very those supposedly important for everyone human qualities) and because it usually said in very convincing, matter-of-fact tone - you just uncritically buy it, and even propagate further in your own texts, talks, or even by your actions! Moreover, even if writer want to laugh at some old, long-disproven myth - paradoxically just inserting this myth in story might have effect of propagating it!

This bring us (me) to question how books help us to make different, better actions..or they not, really? Guess it really depend on how sensitive you are to some of those ideas, and what side you eventually choice. I tried to choice side of most abused today non-human beings, still in hope I was NOT alone in my quest to help them. yet, turned out too many humans around me were way to ready to compromise on wrong terms, trashing non-humans while talking good talk! It was THE blow .. for me, but apparently not for them! So, all my path with reading, thinking, sleepless night, self-disection about where exactly I want to be, and what it must mean for real non-humans - all this was completely overwritten by other humans who paid no real attention to forces inside and outside them!

It seems, humans understand objective and subjective, and materialism quite wrong..or at least incomplete. Our subjective experience OF COURSE shape ourways to build or destroy something in real-world, and our thinking backed up by real, physical processes. It was less visible in 19th century, but today you probably can by this 'move computer mouse with your mind' type of device and try it for yourself. Mind is real and physical, yet at the same time it really complicated something. But back to psychology..what exactly stops all those dolphin owners/abusers to admit they were wrong, say SORRY to dolphins (by actions! by helping them for real, not pseudohelping aimed at further exploitation!) and move on into different kind of future, with libre dolphins as real friends? Well, psychology! They can't admit their wrongs even for themselves, let alone publically, they are salves to monetary-driven/monetary-mad society, they don't want to think in some specific directions at all, they want to produce more lies and cover-ups and just use their position of power to never change. Same for horse riding, or even bigger 'animal helping' orgs. They quite ballless when it comes to admitting their own mistakes, and aligning their words with their actions (what kind of hypocrite can said on one page "dolphins and whales and other cetaceans have undeniable right to live" and on next page discuss methods of killing stranded cetaceans in so-called 'human' manner, who can boost their "love" for dolphins and plan confine and even castrate them (restrict their reproduction, anyway) at the same time? Hello, WDC without S and Born Free ..I'm not your supporter anymore .... ). So, this 'invisible world inside someone's head" has VERY real consequences, on what we do, and how. And to where we move at all, as result.

Ah, mandatory pony part! I was thinking one day what even if I meet Twilight and her friends (and _they_, unlike my human friends here, apparently have chance to be sensitive and act-ative for my problem!) one day, and manage somehow to explain all this dolphin problem to them (starting from captives here in my city and at their native seas in those sea cages) - they will able to help only to the point, with all their teleportation, and "force from out-of-the-world" magic. Because, after all, they still have their own home, friends, and duties. They can't constantly hover over our world and fix ever-increasing stream of our fundamental problems, even in very narrow field. And this leaves me with question...what to do in my life, because I'm not type of figure who can rise to power (and most if not all human figures who applied to this power contest failed to be sensitive and emphatic and thinking enough at the end, long before they had any power to change anything..so, near 100% dead end, requires impossible humans), even to just power of convincing (by texts, lectures, or one-to-one talks.). I can be slightly better than others in my self-reflection, in my resistance to back-currents of our society, a bit better at thinking and predicting - but without matching humans I alone can't do anything.. and how I can even detect such humans in my current or even better state? When talk is cheap and easily can be produced, and I have no way to observe real actions in their full details? (I was in dolphinarium, and I was many years after inside some attempt at saving two dolphins from captivity...sadly for me, anti-captivity people turned out to be just as much unsensitive _to dolphins themselves_ as pro-captivity ones! even if I was clinging to their fundamental difference on this aspect for very long! yet, humans fails on some aspects very similary ...in all countries, regardless of age/gender. We are not abstract idealized humans who can move to our goals no matter what - external and internal pressures obviously and sometimes shockingly easy alter our course, thinking, etc. yet, it nearly seems our world-view still based around idea of humans who are much more capable when it comes to standing against social pressures, or realizing why some social construct appear to work! So, we live by illusion.. and try to cling to our psychological safety even if this mean discarding reality! Quite .. horror-ish discovery, if you ask me ...).

One my discovery was possibility to use something one absolutely must do with some desired, necessary, but very hard to follow goal - like, yes, for me social interactions tied to helping dolphins. I cut away most of friends who failed to live up to my bar, I mostly refused to accept anything from my broken society to distract me in usual ways from this primary goal ..and it sorta worked. until I hit the wall. Because doing nearly anything IRL demand something more, something I can't provide, and without humans at least at my level (and type!) of thinking and ability to resist some convincing but wrong currents - nothing can be even started seriously! We tend to show our tolerance to wrong kind of humans, we cover up humans who are unsensitive and exploitative. But are there other kinds of humans, for specific field? Is humanity so self-absorbed ALL humans I can realistically connect with will fail too early? Did I already failed completely?