So, I was institutionalized. · 10:21pm Apr 12th, 2018

So, you have come to the blog. The blog in which i tell you where i have been for the last week in a half. It may be a lot to handle so let me just get this out of the way.

TRIGGER WARNING

Good, now that that is out of the way, let me start. A whole lot of things kinda happened at once. I lost a dear friend which felt like it was for no reason (i soon discovered what had actually made this said friend mad in the first place.) Seven, my fiance, had lost his wallet. So we could not go back to my home town for Easter. Then, Seven did the unthinkable. Out of anger, he said that our relationship was toxic. It sent my head spiraling out of control.

To be short and not so sweet,

I tried to commit suicide.

Seven proceed to freak and call the cops. The paramedics came in and took me to the hospital to make sure i was not injured. From there, i was sent to a "nut house". There, i was told that i must do therapy and go to classes or I would not be able to get out. For the first few days, i hated it there. I was not talking to a doctor. I had nurses up my ass day and night checking my vitals and mood. The food was disgusting. I wasn't trying to make friends, i was trying to get out. One worker their really opened up my eyes. His name was Dan. He was my therapist and social worker. He really taught us how to release all of the built up emotions that i was keeping hidden and letting them out in a constructive manner. He knew i needed more supports in my life and more people to help me vent these emotions to. Hell, he put his job on the line in order for me to see my mom and my sister an extra time, since they were coming up from TN. He really helped me with the feelings that i had and i started to make friends. Some were there for very small reasons, some even survived death. I made friends and help those people release their feelings that they were storing up. Some of the nurses were awesome and wanted to help us get out of their and be in a better mind set, some were only focused on getting a paycheck.

It was really hard to be away from reality. We could not look outside our window to see the sun, sky or ground. We couldn't watch the news on the television so we could see what was happening on the outside world. We had one phone in which we could call family or friends. I wasn't even aloud to have a stuffed animal with out the doctor's permission. It was really hard to stay there after i had known that the meds and the therapy was helping. I just wanted to go. I was released yesterday, looking at a new version of life and a new version of myself. For 10 days, I changed the way that i deal with the emotions that are bottled up inside me and I made new supports along the way. Thank you for your patience and sympathy through this difficult time. I hope that i will never have to go to a place like that again but i am glad i did go.

Sincerely,
Micah

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