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Autistic Writer


I am the Autistic Writer. I have Autism (Aspergers Syndrome), but that doesn't stop me from writing great stories.

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  • 75 weeks
    Update November 12, 2022

    Hey Everyone,

    How have you been doing lately? I know it's been a long time since i've updated anything lately. I've just been hitting major depression lately. I understand that you want to know what's going with me. "Where are my stories? Will i ever update at all?

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    1 comments · 151 views
  • 198 weeks
    Son of Eris on Fanfiction

    On April 12, 2014, i posted a story titled Groom of Eris on Fanfiction.

    Today 7/6/2020, i have posted the first chapter of it's sequel. Son of Eris. I hope you all enjoy it.

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13636649/1/Son-of-Eris

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  • 214 weeks
    ToonKritic Returns

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  • 217 weeks
    Please Donate or Spread Awarness

    https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-ryley-miller039s-emergency-move

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    0 comments · 230 views
  • 224 weeks
    Update #300

    I've lost track of how many updates i've made but as part of my new years resolution was to be more productive. So, my update chapters and new story will be on Sunday. Friday, you will receive the names of those projects on my Blog. (Fimfic only). I can't promise it will make things up, but i promise to deliver them in a timely matter.

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    0 comments · 234 views
Mar
16th
2018

Audio Drama Review: The Mare that Became Queen Episode 1 · 6:28pm Mar 16th, 2018

Hey everyone, i am the Autistic Writer.

Welcome to my new review series "Audio Drama Review". This is where i take a look at Audio dramas episode by episode and give my own analysis on them. Today, we are looking at an Audio Drama made by Misskoifishpony and her friends. Based on "The Mare that Became Queen". This story is based on "Ester: The Girl that Became Queen". Discord rules the lands and takes on a wife as his own.

Hmmmm, this is oddly sounding similar to another fanfic that i have to reread at some point. Anyways, before we begin my review, i need to establish some ground rules.

1. I am judging the Audio Drama episodes based on their own merits. For those of you who are yelling "It's in the fanfic", I am not judging the Fanfic. If i was judging the Fanfic, this would be a "FANFIC Review" not an audio drama review.
2. Just because i am friends with the person behind this Audio Drama doesn't mean i am going easy on them. No one gets special treatment.
3. You have a right to your own opinion on my review. If there are points that i get wrong, then don't hesitate to point them out to me in this review.

I have more rules, but i can't think of any at this point. So, i hope you enjoy the review of this fanfic.

Audio Drama Review: The Mare the became Queen Episode 1

0:00 - 1:23: Alright, i had to laugh at this part. This is an excellent opening that rivals Bride of Discord. I give high praise to the artist and voice actress that is singing a parody of "Arabian Nights". There's even a line saying 'this isn't an Aladdin retelling. Though, i wonder what Missy's version of Aladdin would look like? One problem at a time.

1:25 - 2:02: I like this character. Probably based on the peddler from Aladdin. Though if she does turn out to be Discord, Celestia or any other character from this story, I will be claiming "Called it".

2:03 - 2:58: 'Even though this is not an Aladdin retelling, that doesn't mean we don't take moments from said movie'. The artwork does look nice. Plus, i like the peddler character. Alright theories of who could this peddler be?
Discord
Celestia
or Misskoifishpony

2:59 - 3:36: So, i am going to be a betting man and say that this takes place before episode 1 and the thousand year of imprisonment of Nightmare Moon. Also, some of the ponies tried to call her princess Sunbutt. Unfortunately, it did not go over well at the next town meeting. Other names are: Sun Goddess, Amaterasu, Big Giant Pony in the skies, and Keith.

'She controlled the sun, the moon and the stars at her will' the legends also said that she plays Tetris with the stars themselves, but we omit details of that part of the stories. Celestia has a funny sense of humor.

4:15 - 4:20: 'their devotion to their goddess soon became their downfall' For Clop fics and Twerking was soon invented.

4:21- 4:46: So, this is why Discord didn't appear in the My Little Pony Movie. It beats any other explanation given for his absence

4:47 - 5:20: You know, this small part could have been saved at the end, but i understand why this was put here. Come closer.....

Asante sana squash banana

5:21 - 5:49: Ahhhh the opening credits.....Wait a minute, we're almost six minutes in and these credits show now. I am guessing these opening credits was taking a five minute power nap.

5:50 - 6:23: AH A DEMON, How are you doing that without a horn? Are you here because i made fun of Inkquill hugging Nightmare Moon's plot?

6:24 -8:07: So, Discord is the evil ruler in this story. Trixie serves as his loyal aide. This surprised me, said no one. But, i want to see where they go with this.

8:08 - 9:14: Well, Rarity and Trixie's face will be in my nightmare collection tonight. I am not saying it's awful, but it is scaring my subconscious though.

9:45 - 10:10: If i had a least favorite scene of this episode, it would be this one. Not saying it's because of quality, but you could have kept the scene going. But, because i have no idea how Audio Dramas work, this is only a nitpick i have with the episode, so let's keep it going.

10:11 -11:12: NOT THE CHAMBER OF PERPETUAL TICKLING. It's the same chamber where you get tickled day and night. Night and Day. Without stop. Not even when you say pretty please.

11:30 -13:55:
Person: Why does Discord always need a bride in these stories? Can't there just be an audio drama where they just fall in love naturally.
Me: They do fall in love naturally. We just have to get through the typical 'Evil ruler needs a wife' for plot reasons. Besides, it was in the original story that this happened.

14:00 - 15:56: Another short scene, but this one i actually understand. I wished it could have been long, but i am grateful of what i am given at this point. This scene didn't overstay it's welcome, but it was short enough to softly establish some characters.

15:57 - 17:52: Okay, here is my main problem with this story. I'll elaborate more at the end, so i will be saving this and putting it in my pocket. *Puts part of the story in pocket* Let's keep trucking.

17:53 - 20:20: I really don't get anyone's issue with this scene. While there are some moments that feels skipped, i think this scene establishes well with Fluttershy and other potential brides being taken to the castle. Kudos to the VA, Artists and direction for this aspect of this story.

20:21 - 22:40: I might be uninformed or an idiot, but why does Fluttershy need to keep Twilight being related to her a secret? Fluttershy might become queen. Would it really matter that Fluttershy is related to the captain of the guards?

22:41 - 23:55: What a beautiful song. I can't believe we had such a beautiful piece. I wonder what could be going....

To be Continued. (OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)

And that is the end of my review, what are my thoughts on this story?

This is probably the difficult part of the episode. I am going to employ different strategies of rating episodes, but let's go.

Music (9-10/10): The music was well placed in. I love the musical composition of this episode. It knows where to put music, but knows when to leave it out.

Voice Acting (10/10): If i could give a big hug to the talent of this episode, it would be to the voice acting themselves. Maybe it's because the episode felt rushed, but i wish i could hear other voices. Again, that's probably just me. Favorite ones are probably Trixie and Fluttershy. I do like other ones, but Trixie and Fluttershy stood out the most.

Artwork (10/10): While it isn't the Bride of Discord later episodes of quality, i was pretty amazed at the artwork i saw. Some of them were colorful, others looked like colored pencils. I rate this a ten because the art looks really amazing.

Editing (9/10): I will get to the story in a moment, but i want to talk about the editing. There were two scenes that i had a problem with the editing. Some scenes felt quicker than others. While that is understandable, it also felt distracting as well. The scene where Trixie goes to get Rarity and the scene where Discord sends Rarity to the chamber didn't required a fade to black skip. However, the second quick jump was understandable. Fluttershy and Rainbow stealing from the vendor was understandable, it still felt it could have been longer.

Story (7/10): Okay, let's address my big problem with the episode. Remember that scene i mentioned about my issue with the Fluttershy scene. That is where we are going to begin.

The first part of the story until Trixie suggests the idea of finding a bride was well put in. Establishing our narrative and introducing our villains for this story. The issue i have is the other half of this episode. Introducing Fluttershy into this story.

While it is an audio drama and certain liberties are to be taken, you have to cut some things from the story. However, introducing your main character is kind of important for this story. Discord's introduction into the story was well established. He's a tyrannical ruler that demands that his orders are to be followed, his ways are the only ways. So, allow me to ask you a question. Given everything that this episode sets up? What do we know about Fluttershy?

Fluttershy is the titular character and the one i am focusing on. What exactly do i know about her?
She is a good friend
She is soft spoken
she is a friend to rainbow dash and related to Twilight.
She has a great singing voice.

Those are the things i know about Fluttershy, yet there are others that are important. How is she kind? What are her goals? What are her dreams? What are her desires in life?

I know this isn't an Aladdin retelling, but there is an aspect of that movie that made me root for Aladdin. After "One Jump Ahead" Aladdin could have eaten his half of the bread, but he saw two kids that were starving. He gives them his slice of the bread. If this episode had a similar scene just like that, maybe i would give story a higher rating, but it didn't.

Final Rating
46/50

A-

To Missy and her friends: For the next episode, i hope more focus is on Fluttershy and some longer scenes. Those are really my only issues with the episodes. But, don't overwork yourselves though. You guys did a great job.

*Note: I don't hate Missy or anyone else. I just have issues with the episode. If anyone does feel offended by my review, then i deeply apologize.*

So, i am the Autistic Writer.
Until next time, see you later.

Link to the Episode

Report Autistic Writer · 476 views ·
Comments ( 5 )

4818397
Okay, thanks for the explanation.

2. Just because i am friends with the person behind this Audio Drama doesn't mean i am going easy on them. No one gets special treatment.

That's alright by me, I'm like Tigger, I say "Give it all you got!":D Haha lol;) I welcome the honest yet constructive criticism^^

0:00 - 1:23: Alright, i had to laugh at this part. This is an excellent opening that rivals Bride of Discord. I give high praise to the artist and voice actress that is singing a parody of "Arabian Nights". There's even a line saying 'this isn't an Aladdin retelling. Though, i wonder what Missy's version of Aladdin would look like? One problem at a time.

Haha lol wow what a compliment!:D To rival the opening for Bride of Discord?:D Well, I don't know about that but thank you^^ I'll let the artist (Kyumiku) and the VA who plays the Narrator (Lilli Ross) of your compliment, they really brought this scene to life<3 This has to be my favorite part of the episode and the fanfic because it was the part that I had the clearest vision on. I don't why I did but just did, and I really wanted to get this scene right for the audio drama version because I wanted to hook people in right away into this story. And what better way to do it than with a mysterious character, striking visuals, and a good song^^ This song, "Saddle Arabian Nights" is my favorite song so far in the series is because it was the hardest to write for in terms of lyrics (because it is already a catchy Disney song, so how could I match it even catchier but still match it to my story and make it match with the established beat?) yet with the most rewarding pay off because of its result as you just saw in the episode:) Anyway, because of this, I'm so glad that you and many others are enjoying the opening to this episode so much^^ Haha lol I didn't think of making my own MLP-ized retelling of Aladdin, not only because I view "The Mare Who Became Queen" as my take of Aladdin in a way because I see so many similarities between the story of Esther and the story of Aladdin because 1) we have a person of royalty falling in love with and marrying a person who is "a diamond in the rough" kind of sort, and 2) they both have evil royal visors;) Also, I'm hesitant on tackling an MLP Aladdin because well, Magpie already did it in her Pinkie Tale series :twilightblush: However if Shaladdin didn't exist, I would have Capper as Aladdin and Rarity as Jasmine^^ The Capperity shipping will live on!:D <3 LolXD!

1:25 - 2:02: I like this character.

Oh good, I'm glad cause I'm quite attached to her myself^^

Alright theories of who could this peddler be? Discord, Celestia, or Misskoifishpony?

Haha lol so hard!XD It could be me:trixieshiftright: Then again, I could be that kid...or that old man on the street corner...or that lady with the baguette...or everywhere all at once:trixieshiftright: Or I could be none of these at all:trixieshiftright: Perhaps the Narrator could be none of these at all:trixieshiftright: Or perhaps the Narrator could be like the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never:trixieshiftright:
cdn8.bigcommerce.com/s-5ylnei6or5/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/158/888/1463_TootsiePopCherry_28__35263.1497284127.jpg?c=2&imbypass=on

2:59 - 3:36: So, i am going to be a betting man and say that this takes place before episode 1 and the thousand year of imprisonment of Nightmare Moon. Also, some of the ponies tried to call her princess Sunbutt. Unfortunately, it did not go over well at the next town meeting. Other names are: Sun Goddess, Amaterasu, Big Giant Pony in the skies, and Keith.

You are correct, it takes place between the thousand year imprisonment of Nightmare Moon and before episode 1:) Haha indeed the town meeting didn't go well, especially since Celestia wasn't there to introduce herself to everypony of every nation;) Lol!

4:15 - 4:20: 'their devotion to their goddess soon became their downfall' For Clop fics and Twerking was soon invented.

Haha lol it's actually "their vow to their goddess" :twilightblush:

4:21- 4:46: So, this is why Discord didn't appear in the My Little Pony Movie. It beats any other explanation given for his absence

Haha lol yes!:D You're right! You're exactly rightXD! Lol so hard!

4:47 - 5:20: You know, this small part could have been saved at the end, but i understand why this was put here. Come closer.....

You mean saved for the end of the episode or the end of the series?

5:21 - 5:49: Ahhhh the opening credits.....Wait a minute, we're almost six minutes in and these credits show now. I am guessing these opening credits was taking a five minute power nap.

Haha lol yep:) That's exactly what happened, yep sure, let's go with that;) Lol;)

5:50 - 6:23: AH A DEMON, How are you doing that without a horn?

Devil child! Devil child!
i.pinimg.com/originals/5a/41/ae/5a41ae53ba1f758379eadabb8e6a9466.gif

6:24 -8:07: So, Discord is the evil ruler in this story. Trixie serves as his loyal aide. This surprised me, said no one. But, i want to see where they go with this.

8:08 - 9:14: Well, Rarity and Trixie's face will be in my nightmare collection tonight. I am not saying it's awful, but it is scaring my subconscious though

Haha lol to both^^

9:45 - 10:10: If i had a least favorite scene of this episode, it would be this one. Not saying it's because of quality, but you could have kept the scene going. But, because i have no idea how Audio Dramas work, this is only a nitpick i have with the episode, so let's keep it going.

Hmm probably, not sure how but how would you expand it?:)

10:11 -11:12: NOT THE CHAMBER OF PERPETUAL TICKLING. It's the same chamber where you get tickled day and night. Night and Day. Without stop. Not even when you say pretty please.

Haha lol nice Esther reference;)

11:30 -13:55:
Person: Why does Discord always need a bride in these stories? Can't there just be an audio drama where they just fall in love naturally.
Me: They do fall in love naturally. We just have to get through the typical 'Evil ruler needs a wife' for plot reasons. Besides, it was in the original story that this happened.

Haha lol yep there you go!^^ Ever since DF popularize this Fluttercord retelling, we've all been coping her ever since, haha lolXD!

14:00 - 15:56: Another short scene, but this one i actually understand. I wished it could have been long, but i am grateful of what i am given at this point. This scene didn't overstay it's welcome, but it was short enough to softly establish some characters.

Good point, it could be longer but I'm glad that you liked the scene regardless:)

17:53 - 20:20: I really don't get anyone's issue with this scene.

Oh, people have issue with this scene? I had no idea. What's their issue with it? :rainbowhuh:

20:21 - 22:40: I might be uninformed or an idiot, but why does Fluttershy need to keep Twilight being related to her a secret? Fluttershy might become queen. Would it really matter that Fluttershy is related to the captain of the guards?

Oh no no, you're not an idiot, it's a little bit because of Keriwi1's reasoning:
4818397
But also because I wanted to emphasize to the audience that Hamana can't be trusted because she would use whatever info she has on Moriyah against her, like using Esther against her, whether Esther believes in Celestia or not, I wanted to show to the audience that Moriyah believes Hamana can be dangerous and to be somepony to never be trusted. But I didn't portray this properly in the episode, and for that I apologize.

22:41 - 23:55: What a beautiful song. I can't believe we had such a beautiful piece. I wonder what could be going....

To be Continued. (OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)

Haha lol so hard!XD Sidenote: what did you think of the ending credits gag between Discord and Twilight?:)

Music (9-10/10): The music was well placed in. I love the musical composition of this episode. It knows where to put music, but knows when to leave it out.

Yay! And that my goal^^ Mwhaha victory is mine!>:D

Voice Acting (10/10): If i could give a big hug to the talent of this episode, it would be to the voice acting themselves. Maybe it's because the episode felt rushed, but i wish i could hear other voices. Again, that's probably just me. Favorite ones are probably Trixie and Fluttershy. I do like other ones, but Trixie and Fluttershy stood out the most.

Yay! I'll make sure to tell the VA cast that you loved all their performances, especially Trixie (Gina M.) and Fluttershy (Kira Okimaden)^^

Artwork (10/10): While it isn't the Bride of Discord later episodes of quality, i was pretty amazed at the artwork i saw. Some of them were colorful, others looked like colored pencils. I rate this a ten because the art looks really amazing.

Yay! I'll make sure to tell the artists that you love their art^^

Editing (9/10): I will get to the story in a moment, but i want to talk about the editing. There were two scenes that i had a problem with the editing. Some scenes felt quicker than others. While that is understandable, it also felt distracting as well. The scene where Trixie goes to get Rarity and the scene where Discord sends Rarity to the chamber didn't required a fade to black skip. However, the second quick jump was understandable. Fluttershy and Rainbow stealing from the vendor was understandable, it still felt it could have been longer.

Good points, we will make sure to improve in this area for Ep. 2 and for future episodes:)

Story (7/10): Okay, let's address my big problem with the episode. Remember that scene i mentioned about my issue with the Fluttershy scene. That is where we are going to begin.

The first part of the story until Trixie suggests the idea of finding a bride was well put in. Establishing our narrative and introducing our villains for this story. The issue i have is the other half of this episode. Introducing Fluttershy into this story.

While it is an audio drama and certain liberties are to be taken, you have to cut some things from the story. However, introducing your main character is kind of important for this story. Discord's introduction into the story was well established. He's a tyrannical ruler that demands that his orders are to be followed, his ways are the only ways. So, allow me to ask you a question. Given everything that this episode sets up? What do we know about Fluttershy?

Fluttershy is the titular character and the one i am focusing on. What exactly do i know about her?
She is a good friend
She is soft spoken
she is a friend to rainbow dash and related to Twilight.
She has a great singing voice.

Those are the things i know about Fluttershy, yet there are others that are important. How is she kind? What are her goals? What are her dreams? What are her desires in life?

I know this isn't an Aladdin retelling, but there is an aspect of that movie that made me root for Aladdin. After "One Jump Ahead" Aladdin could have eaten his half of the bread, but he saw two kids that were starving. He gives them his slice of the bread. If this episode had a similar scene just like that, maybe i would give story a higher rating, but it didn't.

This is a really good point and argument AW, you're right:) I was able to establish the main motives and desires and strong characteristics of Discord, Trixie, and Moriyah, but not for Fluttershy. I failed to show how kind she can be, which is crucial to this story. Especially since she is the main character/hero of the story. Good critique AW:) I like how you used that scene of Aladdin to illustrate your point, I should have had a scene like that to show how sweet Flutters is.

Final Rating
46/50

A-

To Missy and her friends: For the next episode, i hope more focus is on Fluttershy and some longer scenes. Those are really my only issues with the episodes. But, don't overwork yourselves though. You guys did a great job.

Hey hey not bad!:D A- (aka 46/50) :D! Not bad for the first episode!:D Usually the first episodes are the hardest to sell/the roughest cut of what a series to produce, especially for audio dramas on Youtube:ajsmug: But still despite this, we are going to strive to improve and be even better^^ Episode 2 will definitely focus more on Fluttershy and we will learn more about her:) Episode 2 will also have some longer scenes and just jumping around:)

*Note: I don't hate Missy or anyone else. I just have issues with the episode. If anyone does feel offended by my review, then i deeply apologize.*

Haha lol I know that you don't hate me or anyone else on this projectXD Just because you had some helpful constructive criticism, that doesn't mean hatred or anything like that. That's silly:derpytongue2: Lol! Therefore, no one should be offended:) I know that I and the crew are not:) Your review was great, had a lot of good points, it was very helpful, thank you for reviewing the first episode and thank you for putting the link to the episode on the review:)

Good news: EP. 1 got featured on Equestria Daily!^^ https://www.equestriadaily.com/2018/03/the-mare-who-became-queen-episode-one.html

4818733

You mean saved for the end of the episode or the end of the series?

Well, i meant the end of the series, but it's understandable why it was placed there.

Hmm probably, not sure how but how would you expand it?:)

Not so much as a fad to black, but maybe it would connect to the next scene. It felt like it could have been better to transition to the next scene instead of a fad to black.

Oh, people have issue with this scene? I had no idea. What's their issue with it?

I kind of forgot the reason. I thought people had an issue with it. I don't really remember exactly what it was about. Probably people just being trolls.

Haha lol so hard!XD Sidenote: what did you think of the ending credits gag between Discord and Twilight?:)

I thought it was okay. Just a little moment to pass the time.

This is a really good point and argument AW, you're right:) I was able to establish the main motives and desires and strong characteristics of Discord, Trixie, and Moriyah, but not for Fluttershy. I failed to show how kind she can be, which is crucial to this story. Especially since she is the main character/hero of the story. Good critique AW:) I like how you used that scene of Aladdin to illustrate your point, I should have had a scene like that to show how sweet Flutters is.

Like you said, the first episode is hard to sell. Look at BOD's first episode. All these constructive criticisms are helpful tips for you to use or not use. It's up to you really. You do the story your way.

4819300

Well, i meant the end of the series, but it's understandable why it was placed there.

Oh I see, fair enough:) I'll think about the ending with this in mind:)

Not so much as a fad to black, but maybe it would connect to the next scene. It felt like it could have been better to transition to the next scene instead of a fad to black.

Oh I see, heavily noted on my part for next time^^

I thought it was okay. Just a little moment to pass the time.

Oh I see, fair enough:)

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