Author's Commentary: Reaction Chapter 8 · 8:33pm Dec 22nd, 2017
The commentary keeps chugging along. There are no brakes on the Author's train... Just brick walls labeled "Writer's Block."
Reaction Chapter 8, everybody!
Warning, this Author's Commentary ("Commentary") will contain spoilers for Reaction Chapter 8. If you have not read Chapter 8 in Reaction, I advise you to turn away now and come back later. This Commentary may also contain information which has been said before in prior Commentaries, Author's Notes at the end of chapters, or in comments I have made. Be warned, it could also contain spoilers for Critical Mass and future stories in this series.
You have been warned.
I kind of don't like the opening paragraph of this chapter. It doesn't have the same character to it as the other ones do. But then again, maybe it's because I'm tired that it doesn't feel as good as normal.
Rainbow scooted closer to Twilight and laid a wing over her back. Twilight smiled and leaned into her. "You don't have to thank me, you know."
Winghugs are best hugs, right? Maybe it's just me, although I really doubt it, but there's something special about winghugs.
"Oh come on! It'll be fine, Twilight," Rainbow reassured. "Seriously, you're overthinking it. The week will fly by, and you know it, and then we'll be back in Ponyville!" She paused, then tilted her head. "Are you worried about... uh... you know...?"
I'm a little embarrassed to admit it took me a few seconds to remember what Rainbow's question was referencing.
The whole dating thing kind of bothers me for some reason. Part of why it bothers me may be that it sort of forces in awkwardness, and I don't like awkwardness.
"I do," Twilight replied defensively. "It's..." she trailed off shaking her head. Twilight sighed and relented. For a few second, she hung her head low, then she lifted it back up and smiled at Rainbow. "The girls are probably waiting on us at the train station..."
"Then let's not keep them waiting!" Rainbow beat her wings and jumped into the air. She hovered in the air for a few seconds while Twilight spread her wings and took flight, then the pair flew into Ponyville, then to the train station.
Okay, this is wrong. Rainbow should have known that Twilight was faking or not okay here, yet she seems kind of oblivious to it. Or maybe I'm wrong in my analysis here... Or maybe I'm misreading it or forgetting something, or missing some context that makes Twilight more genuine...
As Twilight expected, the train was there, along with four other mares, all waiting on them. Rainbow looked at Twilight and saw that her expression was strained. 'It wouldn't take much to convince you to stay in Ponyville, would it?' She sighed at the thought, not knowing whether Twilight would be swayed to stay, or would follow through and go. Regardless of Twilight's choice, she'd go or stay with her, the alicorn needed somepony to help her, and that pony would be her. She still didn't really think of Twilight as her marefriend, or fillyfriend, or special somepony. To her, Twilight was just her friend, but Twilight needed her, and she wouldn't let her down.
Pony terms for significant others... Fillyfriend seems like something that would be used if this was an Old Western. Or if they were foals, and the mother was asking. Marefriend sounds better, I guess. Or maybe it's just because it's used more commonly in fanfiction to my knowledge. Special somepony is used in the show, and it's kind of cute but also somehow bothers me, possibly because I associate it with Cheerilee and Big Mac which then creeps me out.
The four mares finally noticed them as they flew towards the ground and landed. "Girls," Twilight acknowledged. The four of them said nothing, instead, they pulled Twilight into a group hug. Rainbow could see Twilight's pained expression, and she quickly joined the hug, trying to distract Twilight from her fears and worries. Eventually, the hug broke apart. "I'm going to miss you all," Twilight added solemnly.
I really miss back when Twilight would refer to them as girls in the show. I just miss that... Good times.
"I may be making a trip to Canterlot later this week," Rarity said. "I have a delivery for a special client, and I may deliver it in person. If I do, I'll be sure to stop by, Twilight."
Foreshadowing...
Over the course of the next few minutes, they all said their goodbyes and parting words. The four mares stuck with them until they boarded. As soon as Twilight stepped inside of the train car, her ears fell back against her head, but she didn't slow down until they were in the next car. Rainbow placed a hoof on her shoulder. Twilight looked at Rainbow, the pegasus was brashly smiling. Twilight weakly returned the smile. She averted her gaze from Rainbow and scanned the car they were in, the car was far from packed, but she still found herself uncomfortable. She didn't want to be around anypony, with the exception of Rainbow Dash. For the most part, everybody on the car ignored both of them, aside from the occasional look and shock at realizing who she was, but Twilight was thankful nopony tried to stop her or talk to her.
Okay. Thinking too deeply on a subject time. So in the show, it seems like everypony ignores or doesn't notice the fact that Twilight is an alicorn. For the most part, this is probably because the plot needs this. But, there could be something more to it. The ponies might not be that observant... And of course, why don't more ponies recognize them, since they did save Equestria more than once? Perhaps Celestia honored them but decided to protect them from too much public recognition, and so really only in Canterlot/Ponyville they know, and in Ponyville they're more or less friends with the ponies, so it's not so much of a big deal. But what of Twilight? She's a princess and an alicorn, why don't more ponies seem to care? On one hand, I kind of like this, because it can show her being humble, but on the other hand, they should recognize her. Maybe there could have been a part which we weren't shown where Twilight went out and said she didn't want to be treated differently?
I'm rambling.
Rainbow looked back at Twilight. "It's more trouble than it's worth? Really?" She shook her head and groaned. "So why are we using it now?"
Twilight smiled wryly and bobbed her head. "I wanted the privacy," she admitted.
If this story had a different rating... But it never will have a higher rating than T. Seriously. T is the highest rating planned in this series. Nothing more. And I'd very much like to avoid any mention of that sort of thing. Unfortunately, it's somewhat necessary to a future plot, so I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ah, the awkward spot for cuddles. That's a cute part in my mind.
Rainbow let out an annoyed groan, then lowered her head and slid under Twilight and lifted the alicorn onto her back. She immediately walked towards one of the bedchambers, then lowered Twilight to the ground and nudged her inside with her muzzle. Twilight rubbed her wings against her sides nervously as Rainbow shut the door and the lock clicked. Rainbow turned around and looked at Twilight solemnly. "Look, Twilight, maybe I feel nothing more than friendship for you, but I'm still doing this for you, it makes you happy and it's nice."
Rainbow carrying Twilight. I don't have anything else to say about this.
I really like their interaction when they get to the bed. It's just... It's nice. It feels right, doesn't it?
And then Twilight waking up the next morning. It makes me cry because I'll never get to cuddle with one of them... 
Rainbow bobbed her head and walked into the bathroom. "Well... at least at least your mane's almost back to normal length, right?" Twilight smiled, then lifted her hoof to the cabinet and pulled out a brush. She sat down on her haunches and set the brush on the sink, then she unfastened her regalia and set it aside. She pulled her mane to the right side of her neck, then tilted her head to the left and picked up the brush again. Rainbow sat down beside Twilight and watched her struggle to run the brush through her mane. "Here, give me the brush."
It's funny how this opens with Rainbow's comment. It's funny because longer manes are probably easier to tangle and harder to groom/brush after waking up. I also really like their interaction here. It just feels like it flows well, but maybe that's just me.
I struggled with how it would sound for Rainbow to talk with the brush in her mouth. I had to ask a couple of friends for advice on that.
Twilight came to a stop, then turned around and looked at her. She opened her mouth, then looked at the cobblestone street. Over the next few seconds, she lowered her head. "Probably," she sighed. A second later, she pulled her head back up and fluffed her wings. "But you'd think an alicorn would stand out more than a pegasus..."
Rainbow frowned. "Twilight, you're not a pegasus, you're-"
Twilight smiled sadly. "I look like one now, don't I? Besides, my physical strength hasn't recovered either, and since I don't have my horn, I can't use my unicorn or alicorn magic, so for all purposes, I'm a pegasus."
Rainbow groaned and shook her head. "Look, you'll always be an alicorn to me. So what if ponies think you're just a pegasus? I'm pretty sure they know who you are, Twilight," she said with a wave of her hoof, motioning at the ponies glancing at her. "And even if they don't, what does that matter?"
I like this scene. It shows some insight into what Twilight's thinking and fearing and such. Also, this can be viewed in a light which makes it seem racist, but it's not. And now I just thought about the end of Critical Mass...
I really struggled with describing Twilight's tower in Canterlot. I tried to base it off of the tower from "Princess Spike," but I also think I added my own things to it, such as the bathroom, and the downstairs areas.
The room had a tall ceiling, and Rainbow imagined that she could do a couple stunts inside, but she brushed the idea off, not wanting to make a mess. "This place is nice," she said. "I'm surprised that you'd rather live in Ponyville if this is what you have in Canterlot..." she trailed off, looking at Twilight.
Twilight turned around and looked at her. "Well... it's... closer to you girls," she explained. "I'll... probably end up moving back to Canterlot in..." she trailed off. "In a century or two..." she paused and swallowed. "Although I do have my own castle, so maybe I really wouldn't need to move back to Canterlot. I would be closer to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but-"
Maybe I'm just being arrogant, prideful, and full of myself, but I really like this scene too. It adds so much to the story, or at least to me it feels like it does. It provides a certain richness and opportunity to the story- Twilight could live there in Canterlot, but chooses to stay in Ponyville for her friends. If she outlives them, then she may move back to Canterlot and inhabit her tower. Even if she doesn't outlive them, she may still move back to Canterlot. Twilight and Rainbow could move in together, and they have three places where they could live! It just feels like it adds so much.
Ah, they share some backstory of their lives here... this scene is nice. To me at least, it feels laid back and just... it's nice.
I'm really not doing so well with this commentary as the others, am I?
Rainbow chuckled. "Yeah, and for a while when you first came to Ponyville, you just..." she shook her head. "You consulted a book for everything..."
Direct reference to... that episode in Season 1 where Twilight had Rarity and Applejack over for a slumber party/sleepover because of that storm.
"L-like I said, I... wasn't very social, and..." Twilight quickly shook her head. "Nevermind..." she said quickly. "Anyway, I hatched Spike in the entrance exam for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns... Which, I mean, I had actually already been accepted by that time, it was a test to see how I handled failure... They didn't expect a filly to be able to hatch a dragon egg..." she trailed off. "Princess Celestia took me in as her student... And I lived with my parents for a few years, then I moved into the castle when I was old enough for more rigorous studies." Twilight smiled at the memory, then turned to Rainbow. "What was it like growing up in Cloudsdale?"
I could ramble a lot about this. I guess this is kind of my headcanon, but I also think this should be canon. Let's face it, if this isn't canon, then it doesn't make sense. If the entrance exam is standard and is hatching a dragon egg, then pray tell, why don't they have more dragons around? Why don't they know more about dragons? If this isn't the reason, then there's more plot holes.
Rainbow grimaced and bobbed her head. "It was okay, I guess... I mean, I never knew my mom, but my dad was there for me. He was always busy, but he did a good job of balancing everything, even though I gave him a hard time..." she trailed off rubbing the back of her mane. Twilight giggled. "Flight school wasn't the best time of my life... bullies, rules... But, I did meet Gilda and Fluttershy there, so it wasn't a complete loss. The ponies in Cloudsdale are... not as friendly as in Ponyville. They keep to themselves more, but they're not as hostile as some ponies. I guess I'd say I had a pretty good foalhood, all things considered."
My first thoughts when we were shown Rainbow's parents can be summarised by Darth Vader's "Noooooooo!" at the end of Revenge of the Sith. I was so very disappointed, but also quite happy because it was a new episode and a good episode. Also, did I mention I like this scene in general with them sharing this information?
Twilight grimaced. "Yeah... They were... still are... on a trip to Saddle Arabia. They probably don't even know that something happened..." She shook her head and smiled. "If they did, they would have been there before Shining Armor and Cadance," she said with a light laugh. A few seconds later, her stomach growled. Rainbow looked at her and pulled her wing back. Twilight leaned away and looked at her hooves, blushing. "An apple really wasn't that much to eat for breakfast for me..." she said quickly.
Foreshadowing.
This chapter, ah, how I've forgotten just how important it is to this series as a whole... Here's to the future, gentleponies!
Ah yes, this chapter also has the important preening scene. Twilight is really incredibly vulnerable here, and this scene mirrors one specific scene in Critical Mass, or at least it should. My memory may not be the best. But, the point is you see Twilight being so vulnerable, and Rainbow's there to help her and take care of her. It's meant to be a touching moment with emotional impact...
I'm enjoying the scene too much to really provide commentary on it.
However, one thing I can say is that originally Twilight's "I-I'm sorry I got water on you" was "I'm sorry I got you wet." But since it could be taken out of context as an innuendo, I corrected that problem.
And onto the actual preening part. As within the show, alicorn wings are larger and fuller than pegasi wings. This contributes to making their wings more majestic and taking a lot longer to preen, which may be a contributing factor to why they use magic instead of doing it normally. The reason Twilight considers it personal and was against Rainbow preening her was based sort of on her being embarrassed about being unable to do it herself, which is how it's normally supposed to be done.
Twilight smiled, then laid her head back on the pillow, lying on her cheek and looking out the window. A few more minutes passed, and then Rainbow finished with Twilight's right wing. Rainbow smiled at her work. Twilight was half afraid to look over her wing, worried that she'd be missing half her feathers. She trusted Rainbow, though, and knew that the pegasus wouldn't do that, as long as it wasn't necessary. She flared her wing out and looked at it, smiling. "I think the only other time when it looked that good is right after I ascended and before I flew any..."
"She trusted Rainbow, though, and knew that the pegasus wouldn't do that, as long as it wasn't necessary." Emphasis on the "as long as it wasn't necessary" part.
Twilight really struggles with being nervous, timid, and anxious in this series.
The dining room was cavernous, yet felt warm and inviting.
Ah, I remember somewhere along the line when I was writing this or rereading it, and for some reason, I either misread cavernous or thought about carnivores and so it turned into "The dining room was carnivorous..." Which is kind of hilarious, since alicorns eat meat in this series.
Rainbow fluffed her wings and glanced at Twilight, then went to bow.
"That isn't necessary," Princess Celestia said warmly, waving her hoof as Rainbow barely started to lower her head. Rainbow shifted her weight and stood back up.
This is important.
Once again, I'm enjoying the scene too much to provide much commentary.
I've said it before, but I kind of want Twilight, Rainbow, Celestia, and Luna to have a special relationship/bond/connection between them. There's just something about this idea that is really appealing to me for this series.
"Don't worry, Rainbow Dash, we won't tell anypony," Celestia said. "I look forward to getting to know you better, and I hope it works out for you two."
Foreshadowing. And yes, the next story in this series (at least as planned as of right now) will include this.
"Of course," Celestia continued with a smirk, "Luna didn't tell me all of the details." She smiled brightly at Twilight.
But of course she isn't trying to be mean or anything about it.
And then a pretty big step happens. Rainbow pulls Twilight over and they sit on the same chair together, in the same room as Celestia and Luna. Rainbow's less unsure and nervous about this now.
Cheesy pasta. I'm hungry now. I haven't eaten yet today, but that's kind of normal. Normally I only eat dinner. But man, cheesy pasta sounds good...
Now. Not going to lie. I'm pretty sure I did not plan out the whole 'the changelings did it' part of this story. But it worked out quite well... I really don't plan my stories out. I write by the edge of my chair. That's right. Every. Single. Story. I have written. Next to no planning... Critical Mass was probably the most planned story I've written.
Also, massive foreshadowing.
"You are family, Twilight," Luna said with a dismissive wave of her hoof.
I don't really have anything to say about this. I've probably said it before, but Twilight's a member of the royal family. Oh, wait, I do have some stuff to say. I remember thinking about it and thinking something akin to Twilight being Celestia's daughter because Celestia was the one to ascend her. And then I also remember a somewhat messed up thought along the lines of what that would say if Twilight ascended Rainbow and they're still together...
And ending on the best note possible, cuddles.
And done! That was Chapter 8, everyone! This commentary is probably less informational as others, and to make it worse, it's such an important chapter...
I had planned to get this done each day of this week, but it only happened now. I need to start getting to bed earlier...
Comment below if you'd like!
2018 is sneaking up on me and I'm not ready to start on the sequel to Critical Mass yet, or maybe I am and I'm just worrying too much about it... It may be later than I intended before I get started on the next story. And I still haven't decided how long it's going to be because I still have a lot of stuff to figure out.
This chapter is very important.
That must have been weird, going "hey, I was wondering, how hard is it to talk with a brush in your mouth. It's for... umm... science. Yeah, let's go with that". I assumed you asked since you don't have a brush, but I personally would have used something else to put in my mouth like a spoon or something. I could never ask anyone that, it's too embarrassing.
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You see, now for me, that wouldn't be embarrassing to ask. And I did try that... but I just wanted to double check. External advice is helpful...