Paranormal Activity 5 Review · 3:06pm Oct 7th, 2017
I figured it'd be time for another Halloween review, and there are other Halloween movies I want to review, but I want to get to the good stuff much later in time. I'm gonna talk about one of the BAD ones, which is this one.
Paranormal Activity 5... why? Why a fifth one? Just end the franchise... just END IT! Look, there comes a point in time when you have to know when to end a franchise. In very rare cases that's actually okay to keep it going, but in some cases there's a point where you have to say "Enough is enough". Sadly this isn't one of those cases. Right up with Ice Age, the Terminator movies and... that other franchise I will not even say because I rant about it enough, but you get my point.
This series has honestly gotten from decent to downright horrible, and this is one of those examples.
I'll admit, I only seen clips of the first movie but I heard it was at least... okay. Everyone had to fight to try and see that movie, but now with 2, 3, 4, 5 and even 6 coming in, we're sick to death of these movies and we're pretty much done with them!
But why sit and ***** about it when I can just review it? Lets begin. This is Paranormal Activity 5 review.
By the way, that spooky image on the poster, never seen in the movie.
So the movie follows this Hispanic family along with their friends in California who discover this mysterious woman below along with some very strange black magic items, a bunch of VHS tapes, and a journal of spells which apparently can open doors to unholy lands, oooh... bite me. So from all of that, the demons from before stalk them without end, making the situation worse and worse as time goes on, until eventually they all die.
I'm running out of things to say here guys. These movies suffer from the Bay treatment, they're all the same. Theres less development as the movies go on, and the explanations of things are only less and less. And this is a review for someone who hasn't seen the first four movies, I know they'll probably all connect together if I see them, but come on... do you really think someone like ME would see those?
... I probably should just watch those so I have better context, but I'm judging this movie on its own merits, and it sadly doesn't have much. But needless to say, I did find a few positives in this.
First of all, I will admit, I like the setting change, we're seeing a bit of California which is nice. Wait, do these movies all take place in California? I don't know.
And there is something that's a bit spoiling, but at this point who cares? One of the characters actually gains powers which he uses to his advantage and he has a bit of fun with them which is kind of neat. He can lean back on a side of a chair and not fall off, he can fight, he can inflate an entire mattress without using a device to inflate it, its admittedly cool.
And I'll give credit to our characters actually bringing guns with them to deal with a threat for near the end of the movie.
But that's all I can give them.
Shaky cam? Check.
Obnoxious people? Check.
Jumpscares? Check.
Little to no explanation? Check.
Unrealistically filming everything? Check
I'll be honest guys, there's not a lot for me to say about this movie. Really there isn't. This is just like every other boring found footage film I've seen. Nothing really eye catching appears.
I will give the movie credit for doing something different in a few places, but for the most part this is pretty dull. Not to mention its like the same with every other found footage movie. EVERYONE DIES.
I'm sorry for spoiling... actually no I'm not, but everyone dies. There's no point, so why even care if everyone's gonna die? And that ending... oh, that ending... the ending throws itself into the first Paranormal Activity where we see what happened with Katie when she was screaming for her husband. But... that only makes it more confusing. Like just... HOW?
Honestly, I think I should just end this here. There really isn't much for me to talk about because nothing really interesting or plot development wise happens as far as I know. This is just a bland, boring, and unscary movie
I give this movie... a 4 out of 10. Some effort in places, but not a lot of effort.
Thanks for reading, sorry for the short review, there just wasn't a lot to talk about. See you all later!
So do you have a line of Halloween movies you're going to review for October?
4689791
Sort of. There are a few movies I have picked out, but there are others I have not seen that I plan to see.
To be fair, the series ended after The Ghost Dimension, which was the one that followed this film.
I personally never got into these movies. It's a whole lot of waiting for a payoff that, by the time it comes, isn't good enough for me to think "yeah, that was worth the wait!"
Also, if you haven't seen The Ghost Dimension, the ending to that film (from what I've read) is MIND BOGGLING! I was left thinking to myself "Wow! So THIS is what the films have been leading up to? WHAT THE FUCK!?"
4689793
You should slam review Blade Runner 2049.
I saw it today, and I can honestly say that I want a refund...
4689863
I honestly have no interest to see it.