Author's Commentary: Reaction Chapter 2 · 8:48pm Sep 30th, 2017
Hey, guys! Time for another Author's Commentary here! Specifically, this will be covering Chapter 2 of Reaction. Originally, I had planned to do this on Wednesday, but things came up and I ended up not feeling right for doing it then. Then on Thursday, I thought about doing it, but I didn't and I don't remember the reason I didn't. I also thought about doing this yesterday, but I decided that since it would be Friday and I had planned to do one of these on Saturday, it probably wasn't the best way to handle it.
As always, beware of possible spoilers below the break! If you have not read the Author's Commentary for Chapter 1, you don't really have to in order to enjoy this, but you might enjoy it. Another warning is that some information here may be repeated. I'm really just sitting down and typing this commentary out as I read the chapter and think of things.
Am I doing a good job with these? Is this what you were expecting from the commentaries? Am I doing this right? I really don't know...
I can't think of anything else to say here, so let's begin!
I'm not sure why I had started it out with Celestia and Luna talking "in private." I suppose that Twilight's thinking about them not really having privacy is kind of incorrect since if they were out in the hallway more ponies could overhear them or something, so it's more likely that they just didn't want to wake her up or disturb her.
Celestia can be very beautiful and majestic.
Luna's a bit more formal here than I remember... That kind of changes through the story and in Critical Mass, if I remember... Originally, I think I had a way of thinking of it as "Luna is formal in the real world, but informal in the dreamscape." Somewhere along the line, I think I forgot about that or decided to change it.
It's kind of a major plot point that Twilight still has her magic, but she just can't channel it. Hence why she has her instincts to use her magic for "everything" despite losing her horn. It's also a kind of major thing with her magic feeling stronger than before, although I'm not set on where to take it. There are basically two paths I can go with it, one, it feels stronger since she can't use it (and eventually ends up having not used it for a while, so she kind of forgets what it's like), or two, it actually gets stronger because of the stress her body is put under, and because she's an alicorn. So her body is kind of compensating and becoming more powerful magically as a result of her losing her horn and almost dying. In another story I wrote, Twilight almost died (from getting stabbed in the neck twice) and had a... I can't think of the word. A magic flare basically, of alicorn magic, which caused her to have a growth spurt too, while also making her magic stronger.
It's an important thing because I do plan for in one of the upcoming stories, to have her horn grow back. I'm already picturing how excited she's going to be, and I'm possibly considering her going overboard or not having quite as good of control of her magic. Her going overboard would be her casting a bunch of spells (think the episode with Trixie learning to turn things into teacups). Also, her magic being stronger is a way I'm considering having her recover from her injuries (instead of her horn slowly growing back, she kind of gets confused all of a sudden and has a magic flare which immediately regrows her horn). I'm not decided on this because on one hand, the magic flare to do that would be so deus ex machina and might seem forced, plus it doesnt' really seem to fit in with this series' style. Slowly growing back fits the story better since the talk of Alicorn's accelerated healing is evident... Also, if that's the case, I'll probably have her scratching at her forehead or wanting to rub her forehead into things (like Rainbow) when it's growing back. And I'll also probably have her forehead bleeding when the horn starts to come through...
Well, first rant of the chapter! Lot of possible spoilers there... I'm not sure if I should really include that sort of thing in these commentaries... comment on it?
I think I said this last time, but Twilight's loneliness and being alone is a major plot point in this series... It's hard not to go into detail here, but I won't because I am trying to save it for Twilight's breakdown later in this story.
I can't really think of anything to say about Twilight and Celestia's interaction there, nor do I really have anything to say about Twilight getting up out of bed. Although, it's supposed to show her being weak and tired from not being able to stand or walk well, and barely being able to support her own weight.
I do want to point out Celestia wrapping a wing around Twilight and helping her back to bed. It's a short scene (of one sentence) but it's kind of cute and goes to show that Celestia and Twilight are close (at least I think it shows this) and it also shows that Celestia is concerned for Twilight and wants to help her.
This chapter, if I remember correctly (and from what I can tell from reading so far, I do) deals a lot with Twilight losing her horn. It's kind of a heavy chapter because of that. I enjoyed writing it, but it was a bit... hard to constantly write something depressing for so long.
This scene is also supposed to convey a feeling of the dullness of late nights, the calm quietness and just heaviness. Twilight's tired, alone, and hurting.
Also, something I want to point out here is her sudden outburst of anger when she bucked the door closed with a leg. Something that is kind of building in the background of this story and Critical Mass... It's something that I feel needs to be mentioned so we're aware of. It could play a major part of something, but also it's something that could affect her character in the future.
I feel like Reaction is also really slice-of-lifey, and I think I wrote it well and in a way that made it unique- I put a lot of detail (or at least tried to) into the scenes.
And, as we see here, we've got the start of Twilight using her right wing for things... It's really kind of sad when you've read Critical Mass so that you know all of the contexts...
Another thing I think I tried to go for with this chapter was the passing of time and maybe trying to make it feel monotonous for Twilight.
Twilight in this series has grown to hate hospitals. She's going to be in the hospital at least one more time in an upcoming story... but I won't say why since it's too much of a spoiler. 
Any thoughts..?
...I suddenly want to know how Applejack would do in hoof-wrestling against Celestia and Luna. Since alicorns in my series here are supposed to be stronger than normal ponies... I may include Applejack hoof wrestling with Luna in a future scene. It could be something nice to add, and I have a general idea of where it would happen...
I wrote a scene with a Doctor performing a checkup. I don't know why, but I just want to put this here.
I still regret this series having nuclear technology, so when I start to read the scene with Celestia groaning about the nuclear stuff, I think to myself, "Augh... ugggggghhhhhh...."
Ah yes, Celestia having some wine. If I remember correctly, I briefly contemplated having her take down the bottle instead of the glass, but I don't remember for sure. Also, Alicorns probably can't get drunk in this series, and I kind of want to write Rainbow and Twilight having some wine, and having a little too much, and then it only affects Rainbow...
Now, another problem I have. Celestia teleporting papers into the sun. It creates serious problems for this series since it shows her being able to do that. She moves the sun, but that can be explained by her special talent. And so I'm left with a confusing plot point of not actually being able to determine just how powerful alicorns are supposed to be, although it could vary heavily from alicorn to alicorn...
Luna and Celestia are also very busy. This is kind of important information to keep in mind, although I'm not entirely sure why.
Ah, so I guess it was said where Celestia and Luna were. Negotiating with the Yaks... I couldn't remember for sure. Maybe they should have sent Twilight instead, but uh... if they did that, this series wouldn't exist.
They say hindsight is 20/20. Keep this in mind as you read this series. Especially whenever you reach the end of Critical Mass. Just stop and think about the series and where's it's been. Maybe in a couple years this series will be a million words long, and if you stick around for it all, maybe you'll be able to look back on it all in wonder... I'd like to be able to do that. I don't think this series is going to be that long, though. I don't have those kind of plans, that's for sure.
I wonder if this series will ever have Twilight being nerdy and excitable like she has been in the show. There may already be too much divergence because of what she's been through, though... That said, I'd like to have a scene with that and Rainbow being there.
And Luna and Celestia actually talk about that in the story. I forgot about that. That whole paragraph is pretty deep if you think about it. There's a saying that the more you know, the sadder you are. In my ethics class, I'm taking right now, my professor even talked about how intelligence and education bring pain and sadness from knowing more, but that most people wouldn't trade it for ignorance. This kind of heavily relates to Twilight.
Have I said that I love Twilight in this series yet? There's quite a bit of depth to her character, or at least I think so. I am kind of biased too, so there is that... Man, I am really looking forward to the upcoming stories in this series. Well, at least one story. I still haven't decided on pretty much everything. I know some things that I am going to include in the next stories, but I don't know how to go about it, so to say.
I don't really have anything to say about the next scene, where Twilight's waking up in the middle of the night. I might have had too many scenes like that and they may have lingered too much. I'm not sure...
And then we start to get into the "drifting apart" issue. Twilight has been starting to feel alone. Now, one thing that is sort of a prelude to this is in the show, while I was writing this, it kind of felt like they were drifing- it wasn't the same as it had been back in the early seasons. It's also kind of a key issue in this series, and you may notice that most of Twilight's friends are quite busy most of the time, and they're barely in the story.
Of course, another major thing is the fact that Twilight's lifespan is so great, so she knows that she will most likely outlive her friends. Make a note of this, this will be important in the future.
The first mention of "specific alicorn dietary requirements." Twilight's talking about meat. I won't go into too much detail here, cause I want to save it for later when it's more thoroughly addressed in the story. That said, I've really wanted a scene in this series where Twilight kisses Rainbow after eating meat, and Rainbow gags and complains about it in an exaggurated manner, while Twilight just smiles and giggles.
I am curious, though. What did you think of when you first read "specific alicorn dietary requirements?"
And now we finally get to a scene with Twilight and Rainbow again! If it's not obvious, Rainbow is supposed to feel awkward about being alone with Twilight, since Twilight asked her out. While at the same time, Twilight feels calm and comfortable, although, especially later, even when they're "together" it's very obvious that Twilight is nervous, and she's still "reserved."
Twilight nodded, "Yeah... Coughing up blood isn't as fun as it sounds..."
I know from experience.
Somewhere in this part (where they're talking about the Wonderbolts and defending Equestria), originally I had one of them saying "Or maybe the princesses will actually do something for once," then they promptly burst out giggling and laughing...
Twilight waved her concern away with a hoof, "I'm just... I'm still recovering, that's all." She paused, then added, "The[y] expect me to make a full recovery... with a few... exceptions..."
*Reminder that it's "with a few exceptions." Her horn isn't the only "exception."
Rainbow shivers from the cold and then Twilight wraps a wing around her and pulls her close. This is kind of a sweet scene, or at least that's the intent. But also, looking deeper into it, we see that Twilight cares about Rainbow and her well being. She doesn't really even think before she does it to help Rainbow.
Of course, that's kind of short-lived, but still, it's the start of something!
Originally, one of my friends was prereading this story for me. When the next scene came up (Rainbow arriving at her home), he decided that, after reading it, he would make a joke comment about Rainbow stripping the wonderbolt uniform off herself. 
"If you had to describe the scene with Rainbow coming home with one word, how would you describe it?"
"Cloud."
This series has more than a couple shower scenes. All of them are supposed to be safe for work. I used to be quite uncomfortable with writing the scenes, but now it's not so uncomfortable. But now I struggle to write them with the proper balance- I want to convey certain things, without implying too much, or making it too mature. The two examples I can give are the scenes with Rainbow giving Twilight baths. There are certain parts to them with implications. I don't particularly want to go into much more detail. Also, If I remember correctly, when I made a blog post about that first chapter and mentioned that, I got my first comment on a blog post, which I will not share here.
I suppose the story still needs some more contextual development, which will come later on, in regards to these scenes...
Moving on.
And now I realize that I'm going to be doing commentary on that scene when it comes up... Well then. No idea how much commentary there will be about that. Although it might be quite a bit...
Preening. Rainbow preens Twilight later. Twilight preens Rainbow later too.
Twilight's coronation gets mentioned. It only really stands out to me because I'm mulling over a one-shot story sequel to another one-shot, set with Twilight getting coronated, fretting and stressing about it, and then Luna helping to keep her calm.
Although another couple things to say about it is "Good times." Good times indeed. Also, there may be another coronation coming up in the future...
I find that, as I do these commentaries, I start to stop not talking about my future plans. I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. On one hand, it could build anticipation, but on the other hand, I really don't want to spoil anything.
Milk. May I just say that I love milk, chocolate milk to be exact. I practically live on it, and I'm not exaggerating. I drink probably a gallon of milk every 2 days, if not in one day. I think that there was a time when I was drinking about a gallon a day. Now, in one of the more recent episodes, they show Granny Smith milking a cow. First, let me just say that broke me, since I could not believe that they showed that, although Granny Smith was blocking the view, it just... "Bluescrene error: Windows encountered an unexpected fatal error" sort of reaction from me. I had wondered before whether the milk was cow milk or not. That seems to support that, but then what does that mean? There's gotta be some context to that, and is it weird? Are cows actually intelligent? They supposidly are, but it conflicts!? And what if the milk is pony milk?! What then? This sort of stuff really gets to me and... makes me a bit uncomfortable, I guess.
Rainbow also made the effort to visit Twilight.
Oh yeah, before I got off on one of those last rants, I was thinking about how, as of Critical Mass, Rainbow had more or less moved in with Twilight. I think I need to explore this more. What does this mean and entail? Rainbow still has a lot of stuff back at her cloudhouse. I don't really want Rainbow to get rid of her house either. I would like to write a few more scenes with them in Rainbow's house. And, of course, Rainbow's house is more of a house than Twilight's castle.
Rainbow actually does take care of herself in this series- and she doesn't really skimp on it either. She's not all high class, high maintenance like Rarity, but she does keep herself in good shape. She also seems to be a bit self-conscious of the fact that she keeps herself clean and does brush her mane (since she doesn't want ponies to really know that, especially Rarity).
Twilight's forehead is sensitive. I already said in another Commentary that her forehead is still sensitive, even as of the end of Critical Mass. Also, I went with horns not being sensitive for a couple of reasons. And by that, I mean, yes, she can feel it if someone was to bonk her horn or hit it or mess with it, but it's not that intense. It can be "jarring" so to say (as it can disrupt casting spells, as seen in the show), but it's not like it's fun or going to really hurt.
I really, really want to put a quote here, but it would make something way too obvious. I enjoy hinting at it but never coming right out and having it be said yet. It's burning me up inside... It's one of the Chekov's guns. The one which I haven't talked too much about.
Flying inside a hospital doesn't sound all that safe. Well, at least Twilight's castle is voluminous enough for them to fly around inside.
Now, I'm not going to lie, and it's a little embarrassing to admit, but uh... I have no idea how much time passes while Twilight is in the hospital. Or during Reaction as a whole. Critical Mass basically takes place over 1 or 2 weeks... 9ish days, I think.
Also, Twilight wanting to have the ceiling painted red is a bit of a joke. Moreso in this part than before.
"Hah," I say as Twilight corrects Rainbow's grammar. I might have some fun with this in the future.
If you can't tell yet, I'm looking forward to writing more stories in this series.
And Rainbow displays her concern about Twilight. Throughout Reaction and Critical Mass, Rainbow is shown to be concerned about Twilight, who she later says is her "best friend." It's worth noting that, if you want a successful relationship, it needs to be built on friendship. You can love someone just fine, but you need to like them, unless you want your first major argument to cause problems. This is part of the depth to this story that I'm not sure if anyone picked up on- they're developing a closer friendship as a basis for their future relationship. On another note, the implication is also that Twilight was not originally Rainbow's best friend until some point in Reaction.
I've really tried hard with this series to give it emotional impact so it stays with you as a reader, but also to add to a beautiful picture at the end of it all. There's a comment on Critical Mass which more or less sums it up pretty well.
Speaking of that, I am so very disappointed that I can never read this and get the same experience out of it that you can, since I'm the one who wrote it. That's probably the worst thing about all of this. Maybe I'll have ended up making a masterpiece, but I won't get to enjoy it as much as all of you. I'm kind of jealous of you guys.
And we start getting to what, according to some comments, is the best part of this series: The cuddles. I really enjoy writing cuddles. I wish I had a plushie... I'm jealous of Rainbow for getting to cuddle with Twilight.
I am really enjoying rereading this, but I'll admit I'd enjoy it more if I wasn't doing a commentary on it. Not that I'm not enjoying this too, but I just feel like I don't get to appreciate some things.
I think I've been at this for about 3 hours now. Off and on... Man, I am surprised by just how time consuming this is. I really am.
And yes, right in here, I messed up the formal/informality of Luna in regards to dreamscape/reality. That said, I enjoy how I develop her character later on- after Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Rainbow all have dinner together.
Luna barely suppressed a groan. "You would not believe how difficult dealing with the media is... A thousand years ago, that wasn't the case. It gives us a royal headache..." she said evenly. "And my sister is the one dealing with them," she added dryly.
I find myself chuckling and smiling.
And then there's a minor comment about why Twilight and her friends aren't swarmed by the media and world famous. I like this idea since it kind of explains why ponies in Manehatton (from that one Rarity episode in Season 4) either didn't recognize or care about Princess Twilight being there.
"The pink one is indeed a mystery. Such is laughter," Luna replied.
I just liked this.
Celestia doesn't want to involve Twilight in the investigation. It's to protect Twilight and make sure she has less to worry about since she won't be involved with it, but at the same time, it's also because I didn't want to write an investigation into that.
And then we end with Luna lecturing Twilight about friendship and the bonds lasting forever... This could come to play an important role in the future. I really like this scene, too. It adds some depth to Luna, and some potential hints of the future...
Chapter 2, Done! It took me like four hours to do this. Heh, ending time: 3:43. I may go play some halo music now, but probably not.
This chapter has more of Chekov's guns, both of the major ones that I remember. One of them is fairly obvious, and the other one... perhaps not, or perhaps it is. Do you know what it is..? I should stop teasing about this, really. It'll be revealed at the right time. It's something to look forward to, though. It's a major point in the next upcoming "major" story. But I'm still not completely set on how to do it because of what it is. And I can't go into more detail because it gives too much away.
I hope you enjoyed this! Midterms are coming up, so I don't know if I'll be able to get one of these out on Wednesday, but I'll try to get another one out on next Saturday. This coming week shouldn't be as busy as this week has been.
"I wonder if this series will ever have Twilight being nerdy and excitable like she has been in the show"
If you want to do this, and have twilights horn grow back slowly then you could have twilight do some tests on herself. Does her horn grow back in a linear or exponential rate, same with her magic, linear or exponential. What factors affect it, does more sleep help, does eating meat speed up the process? If the latter is true will she break the world record for most steak eaten in a day
Also if you ascend rainbow to alicorn hood and make her a princess... i'd have no idea what to think about that, I mean it's not like it would be cannon to the actual show. (Until the Sean 10 finale or something) I swear if hasbro does that.....
Anyway loving these so far, keep them up.
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Ah, now I can picture a fun scene. Starting with Twilight and Rainbow cuddling, then Rainbow notices Twilight's forehead feels like there's a knot, which Twilight feels and figures out that her horn is starting to grow back and somehow makes the connection between eating meat and her horn growing back, then promptly eats a bunch of meat, ending with her kissing Rainbow, who then fake gags in disgust, making Twilight roll her eyes and giggle.
I do plan to have meat play a role in her horn growing back. Most likely it will not be a sudden event with her horn just all of a sudden shooting out of her head, but it'll happen over a period of weeks to months. During this time, Twilight's probably going to be very tired, sleeping a lot, and craving meat. She's going to feel magically drained during this period too since her magic will be busy regrowing her horn.
Without Rainbow being ascended in the actual show, right now, I can say that I'd be okay with that. If it actually happens, I might not be okay with it. I didn't join the fandom until after season 4, so I knew Twilight ascended in season 3. Man, I remember looking forward to that episode so much- and it didn't disappoint.
Ascending Rainbow is something I'm "fringe" considering. I'm thinking about it, but not much. I'm not to that point yet in this series anyway. There's plenty of things going to happen before I'd get to that point...
Glad you're enjoying these!