Jon Snow meets Steinvard and Minako? O_o

Friend of mine asked me, “What would happen if Steinvard and Minako meet Jon Snow? Since, you know, he’s king of the north and all..”

This is my reply....

Jon Snow couldn’t help but feel a bit of fear, as he stared up at the dune axe wielding giant of a man, taller than even the Mountain from House Clegane. He looked like some Wildling from beyond the wall, but held himself more like a Hills Man. Next to him, like a ever vigilant watcher, stood a warrior maiden that didn’t even reach Jon’s shoulder, a strange spear-sword weapon in her hand, crimson mask hiding what she could possibly look like. Though, his attention went straight back to this “Northman”, as he began to laugh, the half skull face going back down to Jon.

“Yer the bloody ‘King of the North’, aye?” Steinvard asked, heaving the dune axe over his shoulder. “Yer nothin’ but a wee lad! Barely past yer salt, and could barely hold a sword!” Without warning, the Northman grabbed hold of Jon’s head, petting him like some animal. “What do ye think, Minako? Does he seem like a King, eh?”

“No, Master... He’s too small.” She simply replied, with a bow of her head.

“You’re one to talk, my lady...” Jon replied, nervously, as Steinvard began to cackle.

“Witty one, aren’t ye?” He snickered, before removing his hand from Jon’s head. “But... The Bloody Raven be seein’ ye, lad, and he bows his head to ye.” Steinvard suddenly slammed the Dune Axe on to the ground, a serious look behind that skulled face mask. “He knows what them ‘Lannister’ bastards did, he knows what curses they’ve sown... And he’s ordered their deaths, Clan Ironbreaker be with ye, and they’ll bring the Ice Father’s wrath upon these so called ‘Lions’. Ye point the way, and we’ll bring what ever wall stoppin’ ye down with a mighty hammer.”

“And... The dead?” Jon asked, glancing to the lethal “Viper of Steinvard”, to make sure she wasn’t prepared to stick that weapon in his chest... Only to see said Warrior Maiden tilting her head curiously at him.

“The Dead? Ye mean those creakin’ twigs past yer fancy wall of ice?” Steinvard asked, Jon simply giving a nod, before causing said Northman to release a hearty chuckle. “Don’t ye be worryin’ about them twigs, lad... I’ve fought beside proper undead, before. The Narrazim Kingdom’s mighty Dreadguard be worth millions of those so called ‘White Walkers’ up there, and that Ser’ron, General of the Narrazim Legions, be one scary bastard...” He leaned forward, a look of pure wrath seen within the Northman’s blue eyes. “That Night King be nothin’ but a rabbit next to that great wolf... I’ll have those dead back in their graves, where they belong, before ye know it.”

“And their dragon?” Jon added.

“Heard it was a child of your queen... I’ll put it down kindly, with an axe to its skull.”