Sometimes to be creative, you have to be kind of out there

Released it. Sure like five people have seen my mature rated new story (cause I don't want to have it be teen rated and then later have to change it to mature- that seems creatively dishonest- less views sure but I tend to be more focused on the expression than the reach) Depression is this thing that makes you not want to do anything, repeat old conversations in your head and dwell on them, and have this depressive stupor that you want to connect with people and tell them your issues but you are stuck in this kind of cycle where you feel weird if you say anything. I wanted that feel. That lazy, self loathing feel that gets you in your head and chokes your life into a thing that you hate. That is the feeling I wanted. Cut out the fat, depression doesn't care about where you are or what your house looks like its just a thing that is there lurking.

Now I always love doing stories like this. And yes I need to put it in groups but I can do that later for the reach.

Seems to have some good and bad reception but I love that. Will reply to comments later though- its 2 am and I tend to ramble now. I want to put my best foot forward.

But the idea is that I wanted to see if I could have a story be as bare bones as possible- little to no dialogue and also focus on one character. And it seems that whenever I use Rainbow Dash, she's that kind of character that is barely hanging onto a functional life and just teetering on the edge of full blown suicidal depression.

So yeah pretty much the story in my head is that this is only a glimpse into a PinkieDash romance that turned toxic thanks to Rainbow's rampant alcoholism, stardom, and narcissism and Pinkie is dealing with something akin to schitzophrenia or borderline personality disorder. Pinkie told Rainbow about her issues and Rainbow thinks that joking about it is a good idea.

Cue one blow up fight later, Rainbow and Pinkie are broken up, Pinkie dies due to depression and having a somewhat unstable but needed relationship fall apart and Rainbow blames herself because she is trying to understand what went wrong that she retreats into herself and uses alcohol to make herself feel something. That doesn't always work so she turns to more painful options.

She loses years of her life replaying that conversation over and over and she fakes some kind of happiness because that is what makes her connect to people. Her routine is so similar that she goes through her day not knowing what day or year it is anymore because she doesn't care.

The last few sentences is ambiguous if she dies or not. Take your pick,

Loyalty can become obsession. And laughter can turn mean. I don't see a lot of depressing romance fics so its always an important niche to attempt to do.

Probably won't write another chapter. It works as a glimpse into a narrator that is a depressive drunk narcissist. Which is kind of what I take canon Dash up to like eleven.