Failed Fics #9: 'The Most Magical Place on Earth'

Hello and welcome to the next installment of 'Failed Fics,' a look into the numerous fanfics I've started but ultimately had to kill. Their stories vary, but the themes are the same; they just didn't belong in this world.

Today’s story is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction. This as you may recognize is a standard FIMFiction blog post, newly posted and waiting for you. We invite you if you dare to read ahead because in tonight’s blog post you are the reader, and this blog post travels directly to… Walt Disney World.

It was on my most recent foray to my favorite place on Earth when a crazy story idea popped into my head; what if the Equestria girls went to Walt Disney World? Sunset probably wouldn’t get it, being a magical horse-girl and all. I thought there was a fun idea there and set out to write it.

And, in true Disney Parks fashion, something went terribly wrong.

Presented her is what I managed to get through before I called it quits. Following that is how the rest of the story would have played out.

Please enjoy.

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"Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas."

Sunset waved a final time to Twilight and Flash as the twin doors of the sleek white monorail slid shut, one after the other. There was a small lurch and the vehicle moved forward smoothly, moving almost soundlessly along the huge concrete beam that raised the whole structure into the air. She settled back into her seat and glanced over at her companion with a smile.

The summer trip to Walt Disney World had been Pinkie Pie’s idea, but Sunset herself had been the reason the pink girl had spent so much time and money planning out the trip for the eight teens. Apparently in this world, a journey down south to this enormous entertainment complex was something of a rite of passage. Her companions all had fond reflections and memories of trips spent with family and friends, mostly from when they were small children. Around two weeks prior, Sunset had pulled Pinkie aside and asked her point blank what the big deal was. What made this gathering of amusement parks so much better or more exciting than any other?

Pinkie had simply stared at her. “It’s the most magical place on Earth, Sunset. Trust me.”

And so Sunset had. Two days earlier, the seven girls and one boy had packed their bags and hit the closest airport. One plane ride later and they were immersed in the most sweltering, sticky air Sunset had ever encountered, in this world or Equestria.

“You get used to it.” Pinkie had told her, pulling sunglasses over her eyes.

“Speak for yourself, darling.” Rarity grimaced as she fanned herself with the book she’d been reading on the plane.

Sunset had then raised the question of transportation, but Pinkie told her it was all taken care of. The Walt Disney World Resort, she said, provided free transportation from the airport to the resort they’d be residing in for the next four days. Once there, there was no place on the colossal property that couldn’t be reached by a fleet of buses, ferry boats, and something Pinkie had called a ‘monorail.’

Well, she knew what a monorail was now, at least. She was still waiting to understand what made this place so magical.

“We’re now circling the Disney-created Seven Seas Lagoon.”

Pinkie was staring out the window at the wide expanse of water, practically bouncing with happiness. Even through her confusion, Sunset found that Pinkie’s childish excitement was contagious and she couldn’t help but grin. She began feeling more at ease with Pinkie’s seizing of her for the day.

Once checked into their rooms at the Coronado Springs Resort (“My family usually stays at Pop Century, but this is a special occasion.” The party master had told them with a wink at Sunset) plans were drawn up the decision to split up for the first day was easily settled upon. Applejack agreed to accompany Fluttershy to the Animal Kingdom and spend as much time as she wanted wandering Discovery Island and seeing the animals, so long as the yellow girl promised to ride at least one actual ride. Rainbow Dash was dead-set on setting the record for most times on the Rock ‘n Roller Coaster at Disney Hollywood Studios and Rarity had agreed to tag along in exchange for assistance in taking some old-fashioned Hollywood style pictures. Twilight managed to convince Flash to accompany her to Epcot for the day, her favorite park and one that he had actually never visited.

Sunset had never had a choice. Pinkie had shanghaied her and told her that she was headed straight for where everything began; Magic Kingdom.

Sunset was shaken from her recollections by a sudden realization; the monorail was about to crash into a building! Before she could brace or scream, the trip continued unabated.

“We’re now entering Disney’s Contemporary Resort.”

Sunset looked out her own window in wonder. The building they were now gliding through was indeed a resort hotel, with rooms set up along the enormous A-structure of the place. The center concourse was teeming with tourists as they moved to restaurants and gift shops.

“I’ve always wanted to stay in the Contemporary.” Pinkie Pie sighed. “My dad always said it was too expensive.”

The monorail continued its journey and slid out of the building just as easily and silently as it had entered. Sunset’s view was suddenly filled by a huge white structure with a number of spires sticking out of the top.

“That’s Space Mountain.”

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After a few hours in Magic Kingdom, Sunset doesn’t understand why everyone finds the place so magical. She’s amused by some of the attractions and the technology on display, but something about it just isn’t connecting with her. She’s puzzled as to how she can explain her feelings to Pinkie while they sit down for lunch at the Plaza Restaurant.

Over at Animal Kingdom, Applejack gets bored of looking at animals and begs Fluttershy to ride something. Fluttershy is non-committal but finally agrees. She begins to reconsider when AJ steers them towards the imposing peaks of Expedition Everest.

At Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Rarity gets irritated as Dash goes to ride the Rock ‘n Roller Coaster for the fifteenth time. She wanders into the shaded gardens around the Hollywood Tower Hotel and is charmed by the 1930s Hollywood aesthetic of the place. She wanders deeper into the fog as Dash comes and looks for her.

At Epcot, Flash balks when Twilight wants to ride Journey into Imagination with Figment, claiming that it’s just a kids ride. Twilight explains that Figment was her favorite character as a child and the attraction has always had a special place in her heart. She goes to ride it alone as Flash ponders jumping on the Monorail and going to check out Magic Kingdom.

Back at Magic Kingdom, Sunset gets progressively more irritated with Pinkie’s obsessive love for the resort. She finally snaps that there’s no real magic here, just corporate indoctrination of children. She says that if Pinkie wants to see what real magic looks like, then she should come visit Equestria. Pinkie starts crying and leaves Sunset in the restaurant, upset at herself for what she’s said.

Four beams of rogue Equestrian magic come from the sky and strike four attractions.

In line for Expedition Everest, Applejack is doing her best to get Fluttershy excited for the ride and gets irritated when an obnoxious fan boy behind her laments the fact that the huge Yeti animatronic hasn’t moved in over a decade. They board the coaster and Applejack promises Fluttershy that it will be fine. In the depths of the mountain, the magic hits the Yeti and brings it to life.

At the Studios, the magic brings the Tower of Terror to life. It creates the illusion around Rarity that she has been returned to Hollywood in 1939. Dash arrives just in time to see Rarity boarding an elevator that will trap her in the tower forever.

In Epcot, Twilight (who is riding all alone) is shocked when the magic brings Figment to life. He tells her that her friends are in terrible danger.

Flash has arrived in Magic Kingdom and encounters a beautiful young woman sitting by herself. She introduces herself as Constance Hatchaway and hypnotizes him with a look. She leads him into the Haunted Mansion.

Sunset, meanwhile, has given up looking for Pinkie and is sitting outside Splash Mountain’s nearby playground. An older woman notices how dour Sunset is and motions to her husband playing with their two children. She tells her how magical it is that there is a place that people can enjoy as children and then bring their own children there to experience it as well. It's nice that there's at least one place on Earth where time stands still for the most part, where they can get away from all the worries and strife of the real world.

Sunset finally gets it.

At Animal Kingdom, Fluttershy is just starting to enjoy the coaster when the huge Yeti attacks. The annoying fan boy is overjoyed that the Yeti is moving but he is quickly pulled from the train and tossed away. Applejack uses her super strength to wrestle the 25 foot monster until Fluttershy uses her powers to talk to the giant and befriends it.

At the Studios, Dash uses her speed to race the elevator and barely manages to rescue Rarity before she becomes trapped in the Twilight Zone.

Sunset finds Pinkie riding it’s a small world on repeat and apologizes. The two are met by Twilight and Figment who tell them that Flash is in trouble. They enter the Haunted Mansion and reach the attic where Flash is about to become the latest victim of the Bride. Sunset frees Flash from her control while Pinkie and Twilight defeat the axe-wielding ghost.

The group reunites at the resort and recounts the day’s adventures. They decide to siphon the Equestrian magic and put it somewhere safe when they get home. Twilight is upset that Figment will leave her but he promises that he’ll always be there in her imagination. The magic is absorbed into a Disney pin and the group sets out to enjoy the rest of their vacation.

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Of particular note, I enjoyed Twilight teaming up with another purple dragon.

I really wanted this story to work, but it ultimately came off feeling like a commercial. I decided that it wouldn’t be fair to my favorite place on Earth to write something as hollow as that. Which is a shame, because I think the conversation Sunset has with the mother character would have been pretty powerful.

So that’s ‘the Most Magical Place on Earth;’ a story with a good heart and good intentions, but FAILED nonetheless. l

Comments

[QueenMoriarty]

Yep, comes off as a commercial that has Sunset Shimmer arbitrarily being a Scrooge for cheap plot contrivance and pathos.