Best of Season 1 Short Fics, Part 5 · 12:21am Jul 9th, 2017
I saw Ben and Me recently, one of a number of Disney non-feature works that Disney made, mostly in the late 40's and 50's, that didn’t have an attached label to it. Even though the Disney was getting out of the cartoon short market at the time because the revenue wasn’t justifying the cost (Mickey would star in his last theatrical short in 1953, the same year as Ben and Me was released), he was actually producing quite a few of such shorts, including the Oscar wining Toot, Whistle, Pluck, and Boom, around this time, more than before. I always found that rather curious to be honest; unlike the established characters such as Donald or the features like Peter Pan or Cinderella, there doesn’t seem to be as much potential from merchandising (Ben and Me did get the standard comic book and Sunday newspaper comic, but some of the others didn’t). I don’t know what was motivating Walt Disney to have this stuff made, unless his attention on Disneyland allowed others to do their own thing, like with Jack Kinney and the Goofy cartoons of the 40’s.
Ben and Me is longer than the others though at twenty-one minutes (there’s a slightly longer version that includes a history of Amos Mouse’s family that was created for the Disneyland episode, The Liberty Story, hence why there’s themes of family struggling to survive and parts about liberty and the need to come to America, and also why the animation is either limited or basically copied from Cinderella), but like quite a few of them, it’s also based on a book. Overall, it’s charming enough. The animation is solid with natural and fluid movement, but also lacking that extra spark that makes the earlier features from the late 30’s to early 40’s so wonderful. The designs of the mice are also clearly cribbed from Cinderella. The cast includes a host of Disney regulars like Sterling Holloway (Winnie the Pooh, Kaa the snake from The Jungle Book, and the Cheshire Cat) as Amos Mouse and Hans Conried (Captain Hook) voicing Thomas Jefferson, Bill Thompson (the Dodo and the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland and Mr. Smee from Peter Pan, though he also was the voice of Droopy Dog) playing the governor, though Ben Franklin himself is done by Charlie Ruggles, a comic actor who would become an infrequent regular in the future for Disney’s live action films, like the original The Parent Trap, who all provide a pretty solid performance even you can still hear their other voices underneath (though I suppose the idea of Captain Hook being Thomas Jefferson is a funny one in its own right). And while the film is just a tad too long, it still covers a lot of story.
But what makes Ben and Me such an amusing cartoon is the premise of it. The whole story is that most of Ben Franklin’s great achievements such as bifocals, the Franklin stove, and the opening line to the Declaration of Independence are actually the work of Amos Mouse. Essentially, Franklin was a fraud. The fact the book (and later the film) was written to teach kids about why Ben Franklin matters only makes it more humorous.
Onward.
10. Twilight’s Best Friend by Blueshift - Dewdrop Drizzle drops into Twilight’s life, much to the unicorn’s distress because Dewdrop starts to take over Twilight’s role in Ponyville.
Published: April 18th, 2011
Most Recent episode: The Cutie Mark Chronicles, 23
Length: 10,914
Characters: Twilight Sparkle, OC
Genre: Dark
Even though Blueshift is best known for his wacky comedies, I think his more dramatic works are some of his strongest creations. That includes of Twilight’s Best Friend, inspired amusingly by a blindbag recolor of Twilight Sparkle.
As with Twilight’s Last Gleaming, Blueshift’s Twilight here isn’t exactly the most likable of characters. She has every reason to be annoyed with Dewdrop Drizzle, an OC that is, at first glance, an over-cheerfully fan who comes across as both forcefully ignorant and unwittingly creepy (one first thing she does is getting into Twilight’s personal space and ask what they are reading), that like Twilight we just wish the parasite would take a hint and leave. This is compounded by the fact that, Twilight (and us the reader who is experiencing everything from her point of view) is the only one who see this, unlike Spike and her friends. But the story is also clear about the fact that she’s dealing with the problem the wrong way by being passive-aggressive about it and that she’s a bit of a jerk. The former was clearly intentional, but I feel the latter part was a little unfortunate. There’s quite a bit of Twilight being a jerk to Spike in the story usually as a kneejerk reaction to something Dewdrop did, such as making him clean the kitchen after Dewdrop already did. These are often used as a joke, but I feel like they would have been better if Twilight’s Best Friend was a willful dark comedy rather than a dark story with some jokes. Spike abuse aside, most of the humor that does show up is pretty good. And most of the characters are good enough for their role (at worst, they’re dumber than usual), especially Spike.
The story ends up going dark in the last two chapters, but not in a way that’s feels too outside the boundary of the show. If I have a compliant about it, it’s that some of the things that are openly stated in the story in order to make the ending more powerful are either in contradiction with the show or just so silly as to be credible. I can’t really mention them without spoiling anything (which is why by the way I’m linking to the devaintart page to the first chapter, instead of the EQD page because the image contains a major spoiler), but it was enough to make me roll my eyes at parts. But otherwise, it all wraps itself up nicely with a strong message for the audience that has us questioning about the way we react to fiction (a personal favorite theme of mine) and a rather British sitcom like ending.
What’s going to determine how you think about Twilight’s Best Friend is really going to depend on what you think of Twilight. The story works best when we find ourselves agreeing with her for the first two chapters. So check it out, and see what you think.
9. Jack and the Ponies by Moabite – Twilight messing a spell, after testing out something she read connected to Equestria’s past, causes a portal to open in her world, through which a mysterious man named Jack jumps out of.
Published: May 11th, 2011
Most Recent episode: The Best Night Ever, 26
Length: 15,400
Characters: Main Cast, Luna
Genre: Crossover
Crossovers are not an uncommon sight across fanfiction, and pony fanfiction is no exception. In the early years, the most common crossovers are with Dr. Who and Portal, but if I had to point to one that stands above the rest of the shorter works, it’s the one that involves a cult classic American cartoon from the early 2000’s, Genndy Taartakovsky’s Samurai Jack.
Much like how most Doctor Who crossovers act more like Dr. Who than My Little Pony (a common trait is that the TARADIS brings the Doctor to Equestria, and what follows is a standard Doctor Who episode with ponies), Jack and the Ponies is more of a Samurai Jack episode than a My Little Pony one (the story is called Jack and the Ponies after all). That has both good things and bad things.
Let’s start with the bad first. While the story does do a mostly good job of explaining the necessary aspects of Samurai Jack (the characters, the world, and the rules), not everything is well explained at first, and the story sort of assumes that the reader is already familiar with Samurai Jack going in. Another issue is that the story paradoxically feels like it drags at times (such as during an info dump) while going too fast overall. As the author explains, if you’ve ever watched Samurai Jack, you’ll notice that most episodes have “very simple plots and instead focused on stylish fight scenes,” but the consequence is that the story seems to zip along the exposition without giving the reader much time to get into the mood of things. The fact that there’s little interaction between Jack and the ponies (to keep in line with Jack’s stoic and mysterious character) probably expounds the problem or at least makes it noticeable.
But there’s still more good than bad overall. Samurai Jack and MLP: FiM are connected brilliantly, and not just because Moabite does a good job of intermixing how the two worlds are related in interesting ways, which I can’t give away without spoiling anything. I mean also that everything from the characters of MLP are portrayed in plausible and true to character ways while being adapted to the tone of Samurai Jack, for example having to be more violent than their normal selves. Added to that the characters are all in-character (pony and samurai and demon), with just a few minor hiccups (would Fluttershy really follow her element into the Everfree Forest without getting her friends first?), with Aku, as is to be expected, stealing the show. But what really sells Jack and the Ponies is the fight sequence that makes up the last few chapters. It’s one of the best I’ve ever read, with clear and creative descriptions that are both interesting to read (as opposed to “character A did this and then character B responded with that”) that you can easily follow along and are finely paced to neither be rushed to feel nothing has happened without bogging in down resulting in a loss of tension, creating an impression that you are actually there in battle. These aren’t some of the best combat in prose I’ve read in fanfiction, but in fiction in general. And considering how hard that is to do, I have to applaud Moabite on a job well done.
So yeah, I would recommend Jack and the Ponies to anyone who likes Samurai Jack, but I would also do so for anyone in general. If you want further proof of how great Jack and the Ponies is, consider the following: this is the only story out of the nearly seven hundred season 1 stories that after I finished reading I wanted a sequel to. It would be interesting to see how Moabite would write an interaction between Jack, Aku, and Discord.
8. Duke Lionheart by JimDimitri– The adventure of the manliest pony of Equestria, the titular Duke Lionheart
Published: February 17th, 2011
Most Recent episode: Stare Master, 17
Length: 354
Characters: OC, Celestia, Luna
Genre: Random
There are a large number of flash fiction absurdist comedies. But there aren’t a lot of goods ones out there because it’s very hard to not engage in filler or without becoming stupid while trying to be silly. I have pointed to a few good ones for this list, but if there’s one that can be called the king of them all, it is without a doubt Duke Lionheart. This work of little more than three hundreds words is the most outlandish idea of world building there is complemented with bad writing and reinforced with dialogue that somehow manages to be even worse (the manly Duke speaks in all caps and only all caps), and I love every moment of it. The story (if it could be called that) is free of padding that would cause anyone to take this story seriously and most of the jokes are really funny, with maybe one or two misses.
Check it out, unless you find nonsensical randomness to be stupid only. But at such a short length, it really can’t be called waste of one's time. And it think it was inspired by the results of a random name generator.
7. Singing to the Moon by uSea- Sweetie Belle runs from home after a fallout with Rarity. When the filly notices the full moon, she begins to sing to it, and is soon joined by another younger sister, a princess no less.
Published: March 15th, 2011
Most Recent episode: A Dog and Pony Show, 19
Length: 3,109
Characters: Sweetie Belle, Luna
Genre: Normal
With all the Sad Luna stories that filled up the early fandom days (even a good one like Let Me Play Among the Stars), coming across a less mopey take on the princess of the night is something of a relief. While Singing to the Moon does share a few things with Sad Luna, it’s anything but. This is instead one of the cutest and sweetest stories from the fandom’s early days and one of the best early Luna stories.
However, the story is not Luna’s, it’s Sweetie Belle’s (in her first non-crusader starring role), and uSea does a wonderful job writing her as a child (such as when Luna calls her “sweetie” and Sweetie confusingly, asks how she knows her name), while Luna takes on the role of mentor (something that almost never happens in other fanfiction, where Luna is the one who needs to be comforted). The duo interacting with each ranges from childish antics to universal life lessons that is amongst the most endearing things of all fanfiction. And that leads to the thing I enjoyed most of Singing to the Moon. uSea is the first person I can think of that thought to draw parallels with Luna and Sweetie Belle with regards to their status as younger sisters. And it’s done in mostly error free prose that that’s solid in execution.
Overall, I’m struggling to think of a real bad thing to say about Singing to the Moon. It’s just a cute and touching story about two non-related sisters talking about being sisters. What’s not to like.
6. Sunny Skies All Day Long by PhantomFox- Tired of the fact no will approach her as a regular pony, Celestia decides to take a break as the pegasus, Sunny Skies, and visit her faifthful student and her friends
Published: April 23rd, 2011
Most Recent episode: The Cutie Mark Chronicles, 24
Length: 8,260
Characters: Celestia, Main Cast
Genre: Normal
Despite appearing in only two episodes, Luna has been the fandom’s favorite princess of season 1 (and two). So while there are numerous Luna-centric stories, there’s very little for the monarch of the sun. That in itself would make PhantomFox’s story stick out (despite it’s date, it’s one of the earliest stories that focuses on Celestia that doesn't also include Luna as a main character), but that’s actually only a minor thing about it that I like.
Sunny Skies All Day Long is one of the best attempts at creating a show like fanfiction. The pacing, the characterization, the humor, even the premise would not be out of place for a season 1 episode (if Lauren Faust had actually decided to focus on Celesita and move away from the distant, perfect adult of the show). That’s not an easy thing to do, and PhantomFox deserves to be commend for it.
The highlight of all this is Celestia herself. Going along, I kept asking myself at various parts, “is it plausible that a ruler with over a thousand years of experience who is bound to known something about being social would become flustered when she does” which I am happy to answer with “Yes, yes it is.” Every moment where Celesita looked like she was going to slip up made sense (because she isn’t a god for one) and was often funny. Besides, the rest of the cast is well-done, even Pinkie, who never goes into her Feeling Pinkie Keen mode.
On the other hand, Sunny Skies is a kiddie pool deep story. Now being shallow is not necessarily a bad thing, but compared to the source, it’s a little disappointing. A bigger problem is that the writing could be better. It’s not necessarily bad so much as it is simple and a little dull. Word choice could be more varied and there’s also a lack of dialogue attribution (not a single "said" is used as direct speech). Usually it’s not a problem, because it’s still easy to tell who is talking, but it does pop-up. The story also has no real surprises or very little conflict. Again, those aren’t necessarily bad things, and where Sunny Skies is good (primarly the character and the humor), it’s really good. This is a light-hearted piece, and everyone should read this. You won’t be disappointed.
· And with May comes the end of Season 1. Personally, it’s probably my favorite overall. It has it’s misses (Look Before You Sleep isn’t exactly fun to watch Twilight be a by-the book idiot and Rarity and Applejack to act really petty to each other) and outright bombs (nothing in the world will convince me that Feeling Pinkie Keen is anything less than horrible), but it also has a number of greats (Fall Weather Friends and Winter Wrap-Up, my second and third favorite episodes of all time, respectively, along with Party of One, Applebuck Season, Green isn’t Your Color, A Bird in the Hoof, Sonic Rainboom, and Cutie Mark Chronicles).
· Another 300 word event. I admit I went into this less than enthused (after the last one), and it was not helped by the fact that the prompts were not to my liking, made worse by how they were chosen. Basically, Seth and Cereal put up a poll with five options represented as the first five letters of the alphabet and that one of them was an “option there you really don't want to choose”. So people didn’t have any idea what they were voting for. From what it sounds like as well, Seth was also saying that people shouldn’t pick D because it was the bad option, and so, of course, people voted for D, which turned out to be that the story had star Trixie. It was such (because Trixie has a sizable number people who don’t like her) that the prompt that got a close second (the story had to star with “Nopony could remember a time when it had rained so hard”) as an optional replacement (not the other three ideas were great; seriously, a story where a pony laughs is not a story starter). So yes, I had a lot problems with how the prompts were chosen from the poll to the type of options to the whole. Now this is the part where one says that their expectations turned out to be wrong, and that… didn’t exactly happen here. Sure I thought it was better than the last one, but it still suffered the same problems as the previous one, most of them read less like stories than scenes. Personally, I thought that the Trixie prompt was better used than the rain one. Rain had little to no role after the opening sentence, let alone it being a downpour of unprecedented level. That means the first sentence is an unnecessary addition that really should have been removed. Now it’s not that great of a sentence to begin with (most weather reports are like that), and I’m partly sympathetic when the other option is using Trixie (although plenty did both), but yeah.
· Here’s something that pops up very rarely but is notable enough to mention: unofficial sequels meant to “correct” unhappy endings of other stories; that is fanfiction of fanfiction. This isn’t a new development (for example, William Makepeace Thackeray wrote an unofficial sequel to Ivanhoe to fix the romantic pairing; yes, the author of Vanity Fair was a shipper), but I don’t remember it being much of a thing in other fandoms nor noticeable enough today. I personally dislike these stories, not because they violate the main author’s rights (otherwise I’d have to condemn all fanfiction), but because they miss the point of the original; no matter how contrived it might be, the ending was sad for reason. Cupcakes, of course gets the most of these, but so do sad stories like Ebon Mane’s Ships that Pass in the Night and Chopper’s Top Hat’s Today, Tomorrow, and Forever.
· Andrew Joshua Talon publishes the first story of Progress in Luna vs. the Microwave, thus decreeing that for an entire year, every story that even so brings up Luna shall include a reference to an abacus. Even though Progress was a hit at the time (it was one of a few stories on Equestria Daily to ever achieve more than a thousand ratings and ranks fifth overall for MLP on fanfiction.net) and it certainly had an affect how Luna was used for a while, I don’t really think it’s influence can really be felt today (unlike Cupcakes or Fallout: Equestria), unless it’s been so diluted or twisted into other fanon versions of Luna as to be unrecognizable. Lunar Eclipsed probably didn’t help either; Talon’s shy and bookish introvert (or what if Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle were smashed into one) is very different than what M. A. Larson came up with. On the other hand, Progress doesn’t feel inevitable either, which may also be part of it. You can make the claim with Fallout: Equestria, Cupcakes, and The Conversion Bureau (and other notable stories that haven’t been published yet) that part of their fame (or infamy) is due to the fact that they were amongst the earliest stories when supply was low and that some one would have eventually published something similar. But with Progress… no, Luna struggling with modern day life is not something I would have thought would be a hit on premise alone. Whatever, I’m just glad the story was written.
- It started in April, but there is an attempt by Equestria Daily to start rejecting out stories with big grammar problems and more by the prereaders. I don’t know if there was an actual improvement, but I certainly approve of the quality control.
· One thing I didn’t think about till a little into the month was the fact that Best Night Ever introduced a fair number of characters that would get decent usage. For reference, the most used characters come from the first few episodes of season 1: the main six, Spike, the Princesses, Derpy, and to a lesser extent, Trixie, Gilda, Big Mac, the crusaders (though Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were fleshed out in the second half), and the Doctor. But every character that comes from the second half has so far had almost nothing, let alone have close to the same amount of impact. Photo Finish, Hoty Toty, Braeburn, the diamond dogs, the bullies from Cloudsdales and just didn’t seem to attract the fandom’s interest (the only “character” of note is Vinyl, and even she is only gets top billing as much as…(looks at note)… the combine total of stories starring Carrot Top or Blues/Noteworthy, or as many featuring Dinky, so not a lot). But Best Night Ever gave us Spitfire, Soarin, Prince Blueblood, and Octavia, and while they aren’t top tier, I can at least think of more than a handful of stories with them in the tags in the future (released in 2011), as is the case with Gilda and Big Mac.
· Trixie has the most appearance, but given that she also had a 300 word story event essentially devoted to her, that’s not surprising (she drops down to third once you remove all 300-word event stories). After her comes, Twilight and OC characters come next and stories featuring the main cast in general. Luna also has a good number, while Dash is unexpectedly tied with Pinkie at sixith, as opposed to her usual second place. Derpy comes next with Spike, followed by a three-way tie between Applejack, Fluttershy, and Celestia. Then comes Rarity, along with the crusaders. Like with April, there’s not a lot of stories that really star Big Mac and Gilda. It’s seem they’ve lost their once high position.
· Notable new writers here include Saddlesoap Opera, Pen Stroke and Batty Gloom, Aquaman, Jake Heritagu, Dashukta, and Andrew Joshua Talon.
· What I’ve read of May is overall, a pretty good month. It’s not my favorite of season 1, but like March and April it shows progress from the earlier stages.
5. Luna versus Baseball by Andrew Joshua Talon – After her sister prodding, Luna agrees to go to a baseball game (incognito) with the Apple Family. Of course, the great Equestrian past time is no more pleasant to Luna than modern technology.
Published: May 11th, 2011
Most Recent episode: The Best Night Ever, 26
Length: 5,559
Characters: Luna, Apple Bloom, Big Mac
Genre: Comedy
I talked a bit about the Progress series already, but not about what I thought about it quality wise. Simply put, at its best, it’s one of the funniest series that has ever been written for this fandom, and Luna versus Baseball is the magnum opus of them all.
The gags are funny if stupid and simple (Luna getting bonked on the head with foul balls is a running gag), as is the story proper and the characters as well, but I can say without a doubt that all of this is good. The only bad side is that the story does slowdown between punch lines, but I don’t think that’s often enough to be a worry. Even if Luna is basically just a cross between Twilight and Fluttershy, that doesn’t make her any less funny of a character to read about struggle with modern life and its quirks.
Talon had other two parts of the Progress series during the season one period; the first one Luna vs. the Microwave and the third one, Luna vs. Lodging, but I feel that with Luna vs. Baseball he reached a zenith of pony comedy.
4. Bubbles by ?? – Derpy talks about herself, her mommy and daddy, and the time she got her cutie mark
Published: March 18th, 2011
Most Recent episode: The Show Stoppers, 18
Length: 2,537
Characters: Derpy
Genre: Sad
I talked about in Rexx Ivan’s Cupcake's Day Out that it did a decent job at presenting the point of view of a character that’s keyed into everything going around them, but that I wished a better job was done to show how limited that point of view actually was. With Bubbles, Derpy’s inhibited understanding of the world is presented brilliantly. The narrator, Derpy herself, speaks in first-person limited in present tense that replicates her mental status (she refers to herself in the third person) and allows us to get inside the character’s head. The fact that she can barely comprehend (if at all), while remaining mostly blissfully ignorant (outside a few moments of pain) what’s going on as bad things happen to her makes that the tale that much sadder than it would if the same thing terrible things happened to a pony without her mental condition. While I’m personally not a fan of “Derpy the retard”, outside of one or two moments, the character was presented not as figure of humor or in a way that I found disrespectful, which I was thankful for.
Although the story isn’t really hard to understand (though that could be the result of reading it a lot), there are number of things that either require one to pay close attention (though there is one area where it does present a bit of a problem) or are only implied (it’s never stated that Derpy actually gets her cutie mark in the end). That makes you stop and think and pay closer attention to other aspects. I never gave much thought about how color was used in Bubbles with regards to what they meant to Derpy before re-reading it, but once I did notice it, it started to change how I saw things for the better. Another plus is how brief the piece is, focusing on only the stuff that matters.
There are only two areas I think Bubbles will bother people. One is that people who loathe Derpy being a mentally challenged won’t like this, I promise you that. The other is the fact that plot is a more of the lines of a melodrama or a fairy tale. And that’s not a bad thing (melodramas and fairy tales do have their place), but not everyone will like that, especially for a sad fic. Bubbles is clearly meant to be a case of style over substance, and I’m sure there are people who would rather read a story that's both.
But anyone who won’t be bothered by that should read this story, but be warned that you will likely cry.
3. Forever by Bobat – Pinkie Pie heads off to Fillydelphia on the request Photo Finish to talk about the latter upcoming trip to Ponyville, in order to make sure a secret stays as such, forever.
Published: April 25th, 2011
Most Recent episode: Owl's Well that Ends Well, 24
Length: 2,627
Characters: Photo Finish, Pinkie Pie
Genre: Sad
Bubbles is a sad story, but it’s also one that relies on horrible things happening to a character who can’t grasp what’s going on, with Derpy ultimately being helplessly passive. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a limited one. Forever is also a sad story, but because the characters in it are responsible for their own unhappiness, the story has a deeper and more tragic air to it.
Bobcat’s writing is very good, lacking in technical errors and being crisp enough to not impede pacing. The best is in the dialogue, where Bob shows a mastery of writing both Photo Finish and Pinkie’s voices. The German accent (and language) of Photo Finish is written phonetically, but not in a way that makes it harder to understand either what the character is saying or thinking. And by doing so, it allows Bob to focus on the important parts of the story (the emotions of the characters) without going overly long.
Like I said above, I feel like the real strength of the story comes from the fact that both Photo Finish and Pinkie Pie can only point to themselves for their less than pleasant situation. Both of them are could easily stop what they are doing and they’d probably be much better off. But there is in them (as they would put it) a need to keep their promises to themselves and each other. And by the time I was done, not only did I understand why they did and found that their reasoning for it wasn’t completely selfish, but that it was even possible that they would be more miserable had they broken. Characters being caught in a vicious cycle of their own making that if they tried to break it could possibly spiral into something even worse; wow, that is heartbreaking. And this all done while being true to the show proper. You don’t need death, abuse, and other things to write a good sadfic.
In fact, I really can’t think of anything wrong with Forever. It sets out to do what it wants to do and it achieves it. It’s wunderbar.
2. Memories of Those Friends Who’ve Gone Before Us by WTFHIW – The time of the Merchant Summer in Ponyville brings with a number of strange and perplexing wholesalers, none more so than the book seller, Mr. Kerning. But is there more to this stallion than his cover suggests, or is Twilight right to dismiss him as a huckster
Published: March 24th, 2011
Most Recent episode: Green isn't Your Color, 20
Length: 8,324
Characters: Twilight Sparkle, OC, Spike
Genre: Normal
Where to begin with this one. I suppose I could start out with the great prose here. WTFHIW has a great vocabulary, using a wider breadth of words than most writers here do that allows one to savor the story and just enjoy the overall style as one goes along. And because the sentence are so well written, I didn’t feel the need to pull out my dictionary to help me because the meaning of the word was easy to decipher, unlike say Phoe’s work, which I mentioned in other posts. Take this part from the opening:
Of course, the produce sales meant more bits than usual floating around town, which meant buyers weren't the only ones working the market square. Merchandise from all over Equestria rolled in on road-weary wagons with their fast-talking drivers hawking tools, farm supplies, household goods, jewelry, toys, knick-knacks and other sundries. The additional bustle spawned its own energy as summer ticked ever closer to autumn, providing innumerable distractions (and in some cases, disruptions) for the townsfolk. The “Merchant Summer” they called it, an unofficial week-long festival of harried transactions where the wiser ponies could make out like bandits, and a few unfortunate foals were parted from their money.
There’s not a word that’s difficult to figure out nor look out of place (the only exception is perhaps harried and a quick glance confirms that its position is correct). The only error are few spots of bad formatting where the tab key was not hit, but it’s still clear where new paragraphs begin. Simply put, this is one of the best written stories from the fandom.
Or maybe the laudable characterization would be a better place to begin. The minor parts of this story, Pinkie and Spike, are written in line with the show, while also suggesting a side of themselves that we usually don’t see (there’s a great line from Pinkie when she’s asked by Twilight how she could afford every she’s buying that is both true to the character, but also a little… less idealistic than the show proper). But the real stars of the show are Twilight Sparkle and Mr. Kerning. When it comes to characters, I have one of two general rules: they should either be vividly presented or deeply realized. Well, I can positively say that WTFHIW managed to do both with the duo in little more than eight thousand words, mainly Kerning, whose first scene alone creates a strong impression with his jokey attitude (upon noticing gray hairs in the mirror, he proclaims “Dad”) only to reveal a side of himself that you (nor Twilight) would expect. There aren’t a lot of OC’s out that like that, but WTFHIW managed to achieve it. But Twilight is also a match for him (like how she reacts when Kerning starts criticizing her for how she uses the library).
I know, I should start off with how this feels like a mature episode of the show, circa. Season 1. Not only do you get your standard set of slice of life plot, jokes, and basic rubber mallet moral (not that it’s a bad one, just that as unsubtle as the show was at the time), but you also get a look at things that are more adult like such as how we deal with things like death, our responsibility to others, literature, and how not to judge things by their cover. The story manages to balance slice of light and somber as called for while suggesting something deeper, much like the picture by Crappy Unicorn that serves as the tale’s front image. This is a story where both Twilight and Kerning learn a lesson, when it would have easy just have been one of them, and I appreciate MoTFWGBU for that.
Great characterization, funny jokes, credible and strong pathos, a deep and universal meaning, and a nice slice of life tale written in fantastic prose. This has it all. Which raises the question: what short story of season one could possibly be better than Memories of Those Friends Who’ve Gone Before Us? Well…
1. Sun, Surf, and Friendship by Cloudwatcher – Twilight and co. head to the beach at Gallop Cove for R&R, where they meet a denizen from under the sea
Published: April 3rd, 2011
Most Recent episode: Over a Barrel, 21
Length: 4,762
Characters: Main Cast, OC
Genre: Normal
Okay, I admit. The formatting for this story could definitely be better, I mean the author doesn’t even bother to separate paragraphs with either tabs nor extra lines, but it doesn’t matter because this story has seaponies. And sure the writing isn’t the best, and Pinkie is misspelled, but who cares because this story has seaponies in it. Yes, the it’s also slow going, not helped by the fact that there’s almost no conflict in here, just Twilight and friends swimming with horse equivalent of mermaids, but god damn it, this story has seaponies. But the world building that there is fun, which makes perfect sense, because this story has seaponies.
And even though there are……
I’m sorry, I can’t keep this up any longer. I kind of liked Sun, Surf, and Friendship, but it in no way deserves to be in the top fifty, let alone numero uno short story of season 1. Still, credit to Cloudwatcher for being the only one out of over hundreds writers who decided to write a piece using sea ponies.
Anyway, this right here is the number one short story of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction written during season one.
1. The Liar by Chopper’s Top Hat - The story of Trixie and how she became the liar she is , from the time she ran away after the Ursa Incident to when she was a foal…. In that order.
Published: Janurary 31st, 2011
Most Recent episode: , 11
Length: 5,572
Characters: Trixie
Genre: Normal, Sad
I admit, I waffled on whether to be put this or Memories of those Friends Who’ve Gone Before Us in the top spot. And what it really came down to was one simple thing: I’ve read Memories of Those Friends Who’ve Gone Before US more than four times, but I don’t think I’ve really discovered anything new from the last time. I’ve read The Liar at least five times, and in all cases, especially during this re-read, I found myself seeing new things. But The Liar itself is anything but simple.
The most obvious thing about The Liar is that the story is told in reverse chronology, meaning the first paragraph is the most recent event and the oldest are the earliest ones. But doing this is not as simple as writing a story than switching it around. Each passage still has flow smoothly from one to the next, whether there’s a scene change or not. While some of the ones where there’s a change in scenery are little jarring such that we don’t realize it until a few sentence, or even another part, that we’ve jumped in time and/or location, it’s not really a problem to comprehend overall. What makes it all work is that once the story gets going, Chopper uses each new paragraph to bring a new twist to our understanding of the events at hand. Like a magician (such as Trixie), it deceives us into thinking one and then another (and like an illusionist without giving too much away) until the end of it all. One moment we despise her for being a liar and a thief, and in the next we pity her for being alone. And by telling the story backwards, it forces us to think differently and read things slower so that we can turn the picture right side up. Chopper has handed us a puzzle and it’s our job to put it together, and it’s done without giving us a box cover.
And while this is a sad Trixie backstory, it doesn’t suffer from the common problems you find rampant in most such tales (written at the end of January, The Liar appeared before the tropes were established by works like EsperDerek’s Out in the Cold). Trixie is lonely and pitiable (though she would laugh at receiving it), but she also is responsible for most (though not all) of her misfortune, and the story doesn’t absolve her for her bad choices. That’s important, because like with Forever, it makes the piece tragic as opposed to just sad. And for the most part, Chopper remains true to her show persona, something that most Sad Trixie stories don’t do.
But what I really love about The Liar is that the act of telling the story backwards isn’t just used to the benefit of the plot or character, but seems to mirror the broader thematic point. Not only is the story flipped around, so is our view of Equestria, as we get to view its darker underbelly. There’s an irony to it all that Trixie would find comfort in a black evil mist that is incapable of love and treats her like a slave because it’s the only person(?) that’s offered her any kind of relief. This is a story where monsters and con artists, in their own way, become more likable than orphans and ordinary folks, without pretending they are not monsters and con artists. That ambiguity makes The Liar so interesting to read because, as Jamie Weinman said of William Thackeray’s Vanity Fair, “you find yourself hating characters for what you were raised to think of as good qualities, and liking characters for doing things that might seem mean and nasty.” And by the end of it all we realize that Trixie is just like us; one of hopes and dreams that desires friendship, and that like her, we also can head down the wrong path.
A character piece, an interesting take on morality, a puzzle to play along with, and most of all, a magic act, The Liar is for me the greatest short story of season 1. Everyone should read this.
And that's the list, and season one. I admit this has been fun to do overall, trying get back into reading and reviewing pony fanfiction, and looking at ye olden days. Sure, most of the over six-hundred-and-fifty were pretty bad, and it took quite a bit of time but you look back on it all, and well, you realize that this is never going to happen again. And I certainly learned quite a bit while reading, and I am thankful for all the authors, whose stories I read. Will I continue onward through the first summer slump and into season 2? Maybe, although, if I do, it won't be quite the same as last time.
I'll have more details on what's going to happen on this blog starting next week. But until then, you've got a bunch of recommendations to read.
Certainly true with the Dr. Who stuff, and I get why that would be with Samurai Jack as well. In each case they show up somewhere and things are basically wrapped around them for the plot--that's just the structure of the properties. So it's only natural that's what happens here. Though come to think of it, there's now kind of potential for Pony to do the same, setting up somewhere as a Cutie Map destination...
I'm pretty sure I remember "Duke Lionheart." It's not the kind of style that would easily hold up in something longer, but at ~300 words it's gold.
Few bits of what?
Weren't Spitfire and Soarin introduced with "Sonic Rainboom"?
I don't remember Progress well enough to point to a specific turning point, but that was one where I definitely felt it lost steam later on. Very strong early peak, though.
I'll confess I don't remember MoTFWGBU that well, and it may be due for a reread. But just from "The Liar" and Trixie and the placement as #1 I was thinking to myself wait, is that...
And then it was. I think it would be hard to make an argument that that one is wrong as the best short from this era (or unusually good for any Pony era). And it's remarkable that it was so relatively early even among S1 fics.
4596185
That should have been removed. It's hard for me to express in words because it's more of a feel, but what I was trying to go for is that the way Singing to the Moon starts out at the beginning, you sort of half expect it to be a story where Luna learns that some pony (in this case Sweetie Belle) has appreciated her night and moon, which helps her get over her trauma as Nightmare Moon. It's a brief feeling, but it's there.
They were, I completely spaced out that fact. Honestly, it probably has to do with the fact that they weren't named or given voices until Best Night Ever, and in Sonic Rainboom they feel... generic, for lack of a better term. There's nothing that makes me think they were antyhing other than Wonderbolt model #1, 2, and 3, kind of like how Lyra and Bon Bon were unicorn model # 5 and earth pony model # 7 that they pull out for crowd scenes (now just for fan bait). I suppose you could also argue that Blueblood was first introduced in the third episode, but in all three cases, no one bothered to use the characters until this point. [Yeah I'm basically trying to cover my butt here.]
I don't think I could nail when Progress started having trouble without reading all of it, I did see potential problems in the third story such as the fact that there's more crude humor and the increasing importance of the OC Sundance, who isn't really that great of a character. But yeah, the consensus is that the early parts are the best.
The Liar is indeed wonderful. It's a shame that it got ignored when it was first posted and that Chopper stopped writing years ago. They were one of the best fanfic authors this fandom ever had.
That's a really solid top-ten list. Almost every entry got me to say "why isn't this rated higher?" and then I'd read the next one and go "oh yeah, I forgot about that fic." Plus, you reminded me that Duke Lionheart exists! I think that might be the only trollfic I've ever loved (though honestly, I'm not even sure "trollfic" is the right word for it).
Of course, you also reminded me of how lacking some of my earliest fanfic reviews were. I kept referencing my own reviews as I looked through this, and my review of Singing to the Moon left a lot to be desired. Like, half of the review was me complaining that it had some music links (since removed) in it, and then at the end I basically just said, "Everything else was pretty good though, 4/5."
Still, this was great from start to finish. I hope you do eventually go on to the summer of 2011, because
then you'll start running into some of my less-bad writinglooking back at the fandom's early days through your lense is so interesting.4600710
This isn't right. We're supposed to disagree with each other, remember.
I'm tempted to post my comments on the ones I did end up reading. Oh, I had some "interesting" thoughts about them.