Skype Chat Silliness #2: An Unprompted Return

Well, I figure its been long enough to post up another set of random silliness, this time around without a conversation prompting it:

Chess Matters (terrible terrible joke)
Twilight:"Now Spike, Remember you promised me that you would help me shelve the new books today."
Spike:"Awww... But it will be weeks before Rarity puts on another Fashion show. And nopony will notice that you are a day late putting them out, can't we just do it tomorrow?"
Twilight:"And what happens if a pony comes in here looking for 'Flying Colors: The Unoffical Autobiography of Rainbow Dash by Gabby Gums' or 'Eeyup by Big M'? If we dont have it out and they need it in a hurry they may think we don't have it in our collection."
Spike:"Ah, come on Twilight, you know as well as I do nopony will come in looking for them."
Twilight:"Fine, IF you can beat me in a game of chess."
Spike: "What? Why do you want to play me in chess over this?"
Twilight:"Because if I am going to do all this shelving myself, I want to have a bit of fun before you leave."
Spike:"Fine."

Twilight:"Okay, I will let you play white, so we can see if you can go."
Spike: "You are going down! I will move my Earth Pony to G4"
Twilight:"Well, lets see. Its a bit early to say you won quite yet. Earth Pony to E5"
Spike:"There is no way I am losing if it means not getting to see Rarity's show! Earthpony to F3!"
Twilight:"If I didn't know any better I would say that you were trying to lose on purpose. Captain to H4; Checkmate."
Spike:"What!? How did I lose? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Twilight:"I guess you did play a game of chess with me, so you can go, however next time can you please actually try to win."
Spike:"Thank you Twilight! I knew you wouldn't let me down. Bye!"
Twilight:"Am I really that predictable? Well, these books aren't going to shelve themselves..."

---

Publishing Problems (spinoff of Chess Matters)
Applejack: "Now what do ya'll think your doin' being Gabby Gums again?"
Applebloom: "It's not what it seems like. Ah promise that we aren't being mean or anything."
Sweetiebelle:"Yeah, we wouldn't do anything like that again."
Scootaloo:"Yeah, we only submitted the manuscripts under that name so the publishers would actually read it since they kept rejecting us."
Applejack: "Ya'll did this to publish a biography of Rainbow, when she said she hadn't even heard ya'll were wanting to write one?"
Sweetiebelle: "We hadn't gotten around to it before we sent it in, though we were planning on asking."
Scootaloo: "Yeah, we were too busy thinking of how to describe her before we sent it in."
Applebloom: "Yeah, We promise we didn't write anything that she would have had a problem with. You can take a look yourself."
...
Applejack: "What the Hay? All the pages in here are blank?"

---

River Racing Randomness
Discord: "Welcome, Welcome every Pony. It is certainly a thrill to see so many of you arrive to play my game, The River Racing Randomness."
Applejack: "Ah, Ain't here to play no games Discord! you know fully well that we are here to put a stop to your plans!"
Discord: "Awww... Don't be such a spoilsport. We have more than enough time to play a game and get you on your way."
Rainbow: "You'd better listen Discord! We aren't playing your games! You got that!"
Discord: "Ouch. Your words really hurt me Rainbow Dash, I though we were friends after the fun last time. If you feel that way about the issue, I may as well stop playing the game as well, and just put the elements somewhere you can never get to."
Rarity: "Now there is no need to be so brash. Surely there must be some way to work this out without resorting to that."
Discord: "Well, the only choice is playing my game, so take what you can get."
Pinkie: "Yay!"
Discord: "Well, before we get started what are you all playing for today? Miss know it all is up first"
Twilight: "The Elements of Harmony, which you stole."
Discord: "Why do you insist upon such a boring choice? Are you sure you don't want something fun, like Star Swirl's last notebook?"
Twilight: "I am very sure."
Discord: "Bah, your no fun. onto the star of spectacles."
Trixie: "Trixie wants more powerful magic to show that lavender imposter who is actually great and powerful!"
Discord: "Good choice, now onto our farming friend."
Applejack: "Ah would like the Elements of Harmony as well."
Discord: "another poor choice, but I can guess your response to my counteroffer. And the Con artist extrodinare."
Flim: "Well, as you are offering I would be interested in exclusive access to tea in Equestria forever, to sell as I see fit."
Discord: "Not the most interesting choice I've heard, but it has potential to go places. The Rainbow racer?"
Rainbow: "The Elements of Harmony."
Discord: "Are you sure about that? I could put in a word or two with the Wonderbolts for you."
Rainbow: "I am not falling for that again, I want the Elements."
Discord: "Fine, The Big Bird?"
Gilda: "Hey! I'm a Gryphon, not a bird! And I want revenge!"
Discord: "Nice and Vague. I like it. And the Fashionista?"
Rarity: "Need I repeat it? I want the Elements of Harmony."
Discord: "none of you ponies are at all creative in your prizes... Well, may as well hop over to the mutt."
Rover: "I want gems."
Discord: "Brief but do-able. seems reasonable enough. Do I even need to ask our whispering vet, its The Elements of Harmony right?"
Fluttershy: "Yes."
Discord: "and what would our red scaled friend want?
Garble: "A hoard that would make anyone jealous."
Discord: "Similar to the Dog, but again something I can work with. And the Pink Partier?"
Pinkie: "This is so difficult to decide... Should I ask for the elements of Harmony, or more chocolate rain?"
Discord: "I would suggest the chocolate rain, as it is so much more fun."
mane6: "Pinkie!"
Pinkie: "Sorry, I think I will have to go with the Elements of harmony."
Discord: "So close to not getting all 6 of you to pick terrible prizes... And the baby dragon?"
Spike: "What? You are actually letting me complete? I always get left out of saving the day."
Discord: "I don't see why I shouldn't include you, so make your choice."
Spike: "The Elements of Harmony!"
Discord: *sigh*"Fine, none of you are very creative I guess. Unfortunately for this leg of the race, I only have two boats, so I am going to split you into two teams, the Protagonists and the Antagonists."
*magic finger snap rearrangement*
Discord: "Now any questions before we get started?"
Rover: "Why is Whiny pony on our team?
Rarity: "Yeah, Why am I on the wrong boat?"
Discord: "Enough complaining, just get rowing unless you want to race without a boat!"