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RuinQueenofOblivion


Dashite forever!

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Jun
4th
2017

Fallout Equestria: Shooting Star Reviews: Intro and Prologue · 10:03pm Jun 4th, 2017

Video made by me.

So, looking at the schedule I'm not sure why I scheduled these chapters only this week, but honestly given what I'll be tackling in the next few weeks, I think I could use a short review anyway.

So this week, we're reviewing SLIPPYROXSHTF's fanfic Shooting Star, I honestly don't know anything about this fanfic going into it, this isn't even like last week where I actually had read the fic and forgot about it (oops).

So, lets begin and see where this fanfic takes us.

---Intro---

So to start out with we have a, very short introduction:

"Peace is written in blood"

I awoke laying in the cold fresh snow, looking up into the grey sky above, moon light shimmering down through the dark gaps in the cloud cover. A light powdering of snow falling down upon my dying body. Thankfully, I was numb from the shock and cold as I was badly hurt. But I’d have to say although I hated the grey cloud covered sky, I did love the stars and sky above them. Through the gaps in the roof of the clouds I could see the stars as my vision grew darker.

The snow around me turned crimson with my own blood as the cold crept over my limp body. Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time it happened, dying I mean. But due to the current circumstances, this might be the last. To think I’d lived such a peaceful life a week ago. Well, peaceful considering I grew up in a wasteland. I grew up at the outskirts of a small town called Frost-Crystal, which was more or less in the middle of nowhere in the Crystal Empire.

But where are my manners? My name is Star Shot and this is my story; a story of betrayal, greed and revenge. As for the "Peace is written in blood" stuff, that's irrelevant. Forget about it and just enjoy the story of my suffering and pain and that'll fit in later.

Well, this is, certainly interesting, its short obviously, but it gets right to the point, sets up the setting, lets us know a little bit about the main character before we get to the main fic, that kind of thing.

As far as introductions go, its a good one, it grips you and makes you want to learn more. Lets see where it goes from here.

---Prologue---

My sister, Sharp Shot, was very manipulative and mature for her age. We’d played it a thousand times over, but it got our blood pumping and minds racing. With the weather today being particularly cold, this was just what we needed. Although I didn’t mind the cold since it made me feel safe. The snow was falling softly from the grey sky overhead as we stood outside our house, face to face.

Well, that's not how I normally expect these things to start out but okay, good way to start us off and get introduced to the main character and their family. The two argue over who's going to be the villain, they're playing a game where one of them is the hero and the other is the villain, and then she cries so that their mom thinks Star is being mean.

What a nice kid.

Anyway, before Star can protest, Sharp hits him with snowballs as the snowball fight begins. Its a bit black and white in thinking, the whole idea of good vs. evil, but hey, they're kids, I think we can let it go. The battle raged for awhile until it was time for dinner, and honestly the whole thing feels so very, normal.

We get a brief description of where they live:

Sharp and I raced back home: a very small old shack mostly made out of bits of scrap metal and wood. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen that connected to a living room and a small upstairs attic with a big circular window. That was my room, with an old mattress and a few shelves for my books and toys. Most of the rooms didn’t have much. Mom and dad had a queen size mattress and Sharp had an old dresser. In the dining room we had a table made out of a flippable chalkboard and some old metal chairs.

The kitchen was mainly some stuck together cupboards and drawers with a broken oven that you had to start a fire inside of to cook on top. The whole thing was placed on what was the foundation of a long gone house, which happened to have a basement. The basement was only lit with a lamp and was kinda creepy, so I stayed out of there.

While obviously its falling apart and we're in a Wasteland, it almost feels like a normal family home. Though I can't help but think of the Mystery Shack from Gravity falls.

Video belongs to Disney.

They have to go back outside and shake off the snow and their dad is polishing his rifle. They sit down to have a meal of soup, which is apparently the mom's specialty, it also seems that the dad has a shaking problem because of a prosthetic leg. Apparently Sharp is very mature for her age while Star is, considerably less so.

Generally, we just get a nice family dinner, we learn a bit more about Star's family, and also that apparently he hates baths, that's kind of random.

And then we get this:

We were about to start our lesson, when mom walked in with a glass of water and my medication. I had no clue what it was, but I knew without it I'd get bad headaches and have nightmares and visions of a black double door.

That's, ominous... I don't know what it means, but its very ominous sounding.

Anyway, its time for them to go to class, and they'll be studying history, fun. They're of course talking about how the wasteland came to be since, well, what else would you talk about in history class in this universe? Anyway, its time for bed after that, by which I of course mean that Star goes outside and looks at the stars.

We then get a strong indication that whatever happened to his father in his past, it had something to do with the Enclave, he may even be a Dashite. The Enclave also gets referred to as a bunch of meanies, that made all of this worth it. He goes against his father's wishes and flies closer to the clouds, chasing after a bird for what must be hours.

As it gets late he realizes that he should get home, and then he realizes that he's being followed by two figures. And then, two metal monstrosities dive after him... and then shoot at him.

A bunch of meanies indeed.

The bird from before flies into the face of one of the attacking ponies as Star manages to avoid slamming into the ground. He saves the bird from the Enclave soldiers before bolting for home, avoiding the shots from the soldiers as he does. Star manages to almost make it home when two of the soldiers corner him.

"Little shit caused me to crash," said the other in a snarling tone, before dispensing a bolt in front of me, scaring me back a bit as I jumped.
I swallowed my fear and asked nervously. "Are you Enclave?" One of them seemed to chuckle at the question. I imagined the Enclave just as normal pegasi, not these demonic metal things.

"So you’re a ground born Pegasus? I take it that’s your family's house over there?" Asked the one with a robotic voice, it seemed as though he already knew the answer and just wanted confirmation.

The other one reloaded his weird looking gun and took a step closer. "Chief Air Sergeant Black ordered us to take any young Pegasus found on the ground up to the sky as a sort of rescue program." I relaxed a bit thinking I wouldn’t be killed but just kidnapped, a slight improvement. But then he charged his weird looking rifle on his side.

Well points for originality, but that's kind of a strange thing for the Enclave to do... anyway, moving on. Yeah as it turns out the guy is just a jerk and decides to kill Star and his family instead... what a nice guy.

Thankfully, Star is saved by his dad who kills one of the soldiers. The other one however manages to grab Star with his tail, but a shot hits his gun and he lets Star go. Yeah, his dad came to his rescue, and lit a cigarette on a plasma burst... wow this guy is badass. Anyway, the other soldier goes down and the dad tells Star to go inside before killing one of the Pegasi and burying the bodies.

He stood in front of me as we looked at each other. I looked into his calm blue eyes as he looked back into my bloodshot red and blue eyes. I opened my mouth to say something when he suddenly hugged me. My jaw shuddered and I was frozen, an overwhelming feeling of relief and fear washed over me.

I cried into his shoulder for probably half an hour, although it felt longer. By the time I stopped, he sat in the snow in front of me. I simply bowed my head as he sat there. He eventually went to grab the scarf when I moved it away.

The bird is revealed to still be alive, though it had lost a wing. His dad says for him to come inside when he's ready before going back to his bedroom.

And then we get this:

I didn't actually come back inside, I just sat in the doorway. I wasn't looking at the hidden graves or the sunrise. No, I was looking at the ominous black door sitting in the field, two silhouettes standing before it. I heard a sound below me. "Psst." I looked down at my shadow in front of me on the ground.

My shadow had a white lined mouth and white glowing eyes. It grinned at me and spoke. "You can't ignore me forever." I didn't know what that was, but it was gone after I blinked, along with my headache.

Yeah, I don't know what that means, but it worries me... and at the same time makes me want to learn what it means.

As he looks up at the sky once more, he gets a brief, fleeting view of the moon in the sky above and a shooting star, which he wishes on in hopes that the world would become better. When he's found the next morning, he's gotten his cutie mark, a shooting star.

Video belongs to Miracle of Sound

As time passes, the vision of the doors continue, until one night at dinner he said that he wants to become stronger, but his dad starts training him and Sharp together. They eventually tell Sharp what happened and she becomes a lot more understanding and they start pushing each other harder, Sharp eventually getting badly hurt.

During gun training Sharp gets her cutie mark in, sharp shooting... the trend of ponies having cutie marks that reflect their name continues! Sharp excels at combat while Star is better at a support role, interesting. Star also is reluctant to kill anything, which is interesting and shows more to his character, I like it. There's a bit more about his first kill, but I won't go into detail there, its a good scene though, read it yourself if you want.

It ultimately of course comes down to survival, something his parents understand, something even the bunny may have understood.

As mentioned in the intro they live near a town called Frost Crystal, which belongs to a group called the Blood Skull... what a cheerful sounding name. Even so things seem to be okay here as they talk with the Doc, and apparently the bird has since escaped. Star also seems to have a crush on a merchant's daughter named Orchid Night who may return the feelings based on the fact that she kissed him, getting lots of teasing from his dad. Everything seems okay until one night...

BANG!

They're under attack by, someone... and his dad calls for help... and that's it... the prologue is over.

---Final Thoughts---

Well, I'd talk about Star but I'm not sure what to make of him just yet so I'll save that for next time.

This is a good start really, I enjoyed this fic so far and I would suggest checking it out. Its a little bit different of a story, and doesn't rely completely on the tired tropes.

Of course there is the matter of who is attacking them, but I'm sure that'll be explored later. All in all, this is a really good chapter and I suggest it to anyone who wants to read it.

The Intro gets a score of 3/5.
The Prologue gets a score of 5/5.

Read it Here

Fallout: Equestria belongs to KKat.
Fallout Equestria: Shooting Star belongs to FLIPPYROXSHTF.

Next week, its a new review schedule, and we get back to where it all began.

Also a friend of mine who has done readings for my fics has started a Lets Roleplay of Fallout: New Vegas, check him out:

Wasteland Seeker

Video made by me.

Comments ( 2 )

Thank you XD your review helps me see my story and chapter through others eyes. That way i can see what people take from it.

4558531 You're welcome, and I did enjoy what I've read so far.

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