Does anyone know how to talk someone out of an abusive relationship? · 5:31am May 18th, 2017
So my cousin. Her boyfriend is like .... (and these words have come out of her own mouth and been confirmed by many friends and family)
She's literally giving up her college education and her career to be with him. What's more, she's not focusing on what she needs or anything like that her world literally revolves around him and only him in a very creepy way. And this is especially alarming because he's not doing ANYTHING for her. He won't make any changes to his lifestyle so they can be together and his own wants always come first. It's not like anything's stoping him he's smart, rich, and his parens let him do whatever. But no, she has to put all her needs aside to do what he wants.
And she's isolating herself from her friends, her family, pretty much literally all of the outside world and I'm not really sure why but I'd bet ten dollars it has something to do with him.
AND HE'S CHEATING ON HER AND SHE KNOWS IT! For fuck's sake. Like, do I even need to explain this one? But she thinks she can win him back if she's like the perfect girlfriend or something, but her friends said he's never not cheated in his whole dating life.
And he told her he doesn't actually love her.
But every time she tries to stand up to him he gets all teary and tells her he needs her so much and he's a manipulative (I hate him)
But I know he doesn't need her so much because he constantly says she's not good enough. If he needed her he wouldn't do that.
And he shared her nudes with people without her permission. Goddamn it.
Now see the problem is we've all told her she needs to ditch his ass.
Obviously she can't or else she don'ts properly understand what's going on or whatever. But I don't know WHY she can't leave him. If someone knew what the problem was they'd know what the solution is but we don't know.
And another thing is she doesn't want to talk about why she won't leave him. She doesn't even want to talk about the idea of leaving him.
And I don't know how to convince her to leave and she wants to marry him and I hope to God
OMG
How do I save her? Please. She's a darling girl and so amazing and she needs to get out of there. What do I do?
I have absolutely no idea what to suggest, but wow, he sounds like a real specimen.
hmm. Does she have any social media or internet usage?
1.- Have you tried talking to his parents?
2.- Ban her from seeing him and I mean make her life hell until she stops seeing him. Or, in other words, make it so the cost of staying with him is higher than the cost of letting him go. How? First, complain about him all the time, second, don't take away anything from her so she can have freedom to live in your house but always remembering her that it isn't her house, third, don't help her if her boyfriend gets her in any trouble until she realizes how much of a jerk he is (if he did it, then he must be the one helping her). Granted, my grandfather's system may not work, just keep this as a last resort.
3.- Search for professional help.
4537402 The boy? I don't know his parents but they may not help. But I'll try to tell them it could help.
Maybe that's a bad idea and also she might move in with him which would be bad. She's 21 and can technically legally do what she wants.
Professional help is really good advice.
Thanks so much for helping.
4537384 Yeah, why?
4537485
You welcome.
4537486
Check it out. People sometimes say more than they think on social media. Maybe you can find something useful that you can bring up with her.
4537633
Thank you, I wish you a nice day.
4537701 I'l try, thanks.
4537847
Of course. People don't deserve to wind up in those situations.
4537990 That's so true.
My ex has had to deal with quite a bit of similar bullshit, and I some others.
She holds some high resentment to this day because she felt she had to marry the guy, and literally gave up a very promising career. I'm still trying hard to put my own resentments away because of mine, but find it extremely hard to do.
There is no easy way outside of making sure she sees the fact. Manipulation like that is disgusting, and he needs to get a brain.
Though it's not easy to think about, as we always wanna do something for those we care for, if she doesn't listen, then she will need to figure it out herself, even if it means hitting rock bottom. (Keep trying, though!)
4538429 Thanks.
4538101
I thought I responded. How goes the situation?
4545566 Better than before I think. She's starting to see that sometimes people aren't worth being around.
4545922
good, progress then.
4548007 Yeah.
4548176
good