By Request · 7:19pm Mar 17th, 2017
Written for James Fire, in response to Comma Comma.
Ahem.
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at punctuation and realize that it's a pain
Cause I've been pausin and clausin so long
That even my sister knows that my mind has gone.
I ain’t never parsed a sentence that didn't deserve it.
Me? Write indistinctly? You know that's unheard of.
You better watch what you sayin’
What you’re relayin’
Cause plain and simple rules you’re disobeyin.
I really hate to nag, but you gotta know
You won’t grow as a writer ‘til your phrases flow
Fool
I’m the OP little ponies wanna be like
With a quill in the night, writin’ odes to a streetlight
Been spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Been spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Keep spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Keep spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Look at the situation
That I am facin'
I can't live a normal life, educated to critique
So I gotta say this to the comma screams:
Use it if needed to clarify what it is you mean
I’m an editing fool with red-lining on my mind
Got a pen in my field and a gleam in my eye
I’m an angry proofreader, a mad troll beater,
Cross words with me, and you’ll be a bleeder.
Fool,
Death ain’t nothing but a typo away
You gonna do what you want, you don’t care what I say.
You’ve got 5 upvotes, will you ever get more?
The way you are writing I don’t know.
Why, oh why, won’t my words, you heed?
The things you write hurt my brain to read.
Been spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Been spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Keep spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Keep spending all our time
Tryin to find the words that scan and rhyme
Your similes atrocious, your metaphors are messy
Sentence after sentence, essay after essay
Everybody’s writing, but half of them ain’t readin’
Run-on after run-on, I can’t tell what they’re meanin’.
I say you gotta learn, but you don’t wanna listen.
You don’t want to hear it, the knowledge that you’re missin.
Won’t punctuate, won’t learn to spell,
Always confusing your homophones as well, fool.
4490325
Thank you very much. It was a lot of work, and I'm very proud of it.