Lyra's Random Thoughts Compiliation #3 · 1:06am Jan 31st, 2017
Lyra's Random Thoughts Compiliation #3
This is a compilation of random thoughts, ideas, and musings I have on a daily basis. Read at your own risk. My mind is a very odd place.
Random Thought #1: I think that the American flag should be changed to an eagle holding a taco in its talons, flying against the backdrop of fireworks exploding in the background.
That combination of things pretty much sums up what American culture is all about.
Random Thought #2: I swear that Mark Zuckerberg (the founder of Facebook) gets crazier every day. He's like the Kanye West of the web development world. First he made it so only news from 'approved news sources' shows up on the Facebook feed. Then he wrote the algorithm so anyone who posts anything that is not from a list of approved news sources has their posts less visible or is shadow banned (Twitter has done something similar as well). Now Mark is going full crazy and claiming that he wants to run for president. Um...no. I am not voting for you Mark Zukerfart. Not until you stop acting like a complete nut case. You can be the mayor of Crazy Ville though. I heard that they were looking for a new person to run the place and I think you'd fit right in.
Random Thought #3: I find it amusing that most teens think about sex all day. And are dramatic about things that aren't really worth getting worked up about. They are entertaining. It is like watching an exotic animal in the wild. 'Here we have the majestic teen. Note how he/she broods about his/her hard life all day and then writes smutty fan fiction!'
Random Thought #4: I'm Too Young For You Bruh: I'm only 100,001 years old. You have to at least wait another 1,000 years when I enter my teen stage.
Random Thought #5: Time travel is easy and fun. Just make sure not to make any changes to history. Things get a bit complicated if you do.
Random Thought #6: I think that Snoke (from The Force Awakens) is creepy as heck. I personally think he looks like a wrinkly old mummy. He certainly isn't sexy enough to identify is an attack helicopter. He should go for the creepy Halloween motif and wrap himself in bandages to complete his edgy look. He seriously needs to chill out though. He needs a better hobby. He should take up knitting or crochet. Then he could be the master of the yarn! The dark lord of string! All would fear his ability to make warm, woolly sweaters at incredible speeds!
Random Thought #7: I prefer to rule over the multiple dimensions I am in charge of than go out with people. I only date dates because it's punny and redundant. I date dates on certain dates. The punz continue.
Random Thought #8: You are all my test subjects bwahaha. But don't worry. I treat my guinea pigs with the utmost care. Your progress is coming along well. I would say we are in orange phase. I was worried because you were all stuck in red stage for a while. But you finally made a breakthrough. I am so proud. But don't worry my little lab rats. I will get you to yellow phase soon enough. But I don't think you are ready for that quite yet. So keep on coming back to the lab so I can do more exexperimentations. It will be fun. You all will reach the violet stage in no time. And then we can all take over the world!
Random Thought #9: Things don't really scare me anymore. I like being in creepy dark places. Preferably haunted. I've just had so many personal creepy experiences that nothing really scares me anymore. This is why most scary movies, books, and other forms of entertainment don't really scare me in the least.
I'm not scared of monster flicks because the idea of getting eaten by a shark or something sounds fun. I bet that I would be delicious.
So those stories where say a monster or something is trying to eat you have no effect because I think that I would probably taste like a hamburger or something. Maybe my blood would be like ketchup. At any rate I think I would be a first class snack.
But you know, I prefer to be the hunter. So I would probably end up eating the monster before it could eat me. Monster steaks could be delicious too. I bet they would go well with A1 sauce.
Zombies for example move really slow and try to turn you into a zombie. But I bet zombies taste good pickled. Mmm. I already have some recipes planned.
The bigger the monster, the harder to catch, the tastier it becomes. Vampires for example would probably taste good as a frozen dish. Because of the cold skin. Werewolves would be valuable for their fur. You could turn it into coats and hats. Plus werewolf steaks sound simply divine.
When I think about it, being a monster hunter sounds like a lot of fun. Sign me up for the job! I am sure I would be great at it.
Random Thought #10: People make stacks of cans in the shape of couches or something and sell their 'art pieces' for thousands of dollars at art shows. Anything can be art. Don't get me wrong. Some modern art is genuinely interesting. But the artists who try to sell blank canvases and stuff...(which yes they have because people really are dumb enough to buy it)...aren't real artists at all. They are just edgy people who are trying to make a statement of some kind.
Although...maybe that's what I need. To sell a stack of cans. Become the next big modern artist. Pretend like I'm making a 'statement' or some shiz. And give it a pretentious name like 'broken dreams'.
I should make a YouTube video of me drawing a mustache on my face with ketchup and call it 'A Stache to Remember'.
My eyes have been opened. I must do YouTube performance art.
I will be the opposite of the slutty channels. I will keep putting on layers of clothing. I will put on so many layers I will look like a snowman.
I will make statements like this daily.
I will make a stack of macaroni boxes, give it a name like 'The Tower of Cheesa', make a YouTube video, and sell it at an art gallery for $12,000.
Yes...I have found my life calling. Now where did I put those boxes of macaroni and cheese?
Random Thought #11: I decided that things should be like they are in the animal kingdom. For example, it should be socially acceptable to take a shit on the lawn of someone you don't like. Or throw up on someone to mark them as your territory.
Boogers, boo, pee, earwax, and so on are the ultimate biological warfare when you think about it. No one wants to get within ten feet of bodily fluids/ excrement. So does that mean that a pile of poo with a nuclear reactor in the middle would be the most terrifying weapon mankind could ever build? What about nuclear snot? Or nuclear pee? Or nuclear earwax? Just thinking about it gives me the chills.
Random Thought #12: I have gotten all sorts of weird dms or the years from random dudes. I could write a series.
One funny thing a dude asked me in a pm one time was, "Hey baby are you an angel because your picture gave me wings." I was like...what.
Lots of guys have asked me to send them nudes. So when they asked for them I would send pictures of nude sumo wrestlers and ask 'aren't I sexy?'
I've had guys as me for lingerie pics before. So I sent them pictures of grannies in lingerie and asked, 'Does this make me look young?'
In short, it is fun to mess with internet perverts. Especially the ones who aren't too bright and literally think you are a granny or sumo wrestler when you send them those types of pictures.
I am a veteran when it comes to this type of thing so it is easy to get rid of those pesky perverts for good.
Random Thought #13: There are certain members of the brony fandom who I fail to understand.
I've come to learn that a good amount of the angry Steven Universe fans are just ex-bronies who are butthurt that they couldn't get famous in the brony fandom, so they switched over to being a Steven universe fan.
One example is this guy I used to know who rage quit MLP: FIM because the episodes didn't have enough of a certain character they liked in them. So he switched over to being a Steven Universe fan and would bash FIM every chance he could get to appeal to the other angry Steven Universe fans.
But one day I caught him watching an Equestria Girls movie (the latest one) because he was streaming it on that Rabbit streaming site and it showed up on his feed. I later found out that he was still watching FIM but he just pretended to hate it so he could get more Steven Universe fans to read his Steven Universe fan fictions.
This brings me to other fans I just don't understand. This particular 'group' is what I call the edgelord bronies. These are the bronies who are overly critical of everything that happens in the show and if something doesn't go their way in the slightestest, the leave the fandom. For like two weeks until they cool off. Then they come back and repeat the cycle.
There are tons of edgelord bronies in the fandom.
They probably rage quit the show because they are one of those edgelord teens. They think to themselves, 'Waaa! Things didn't go my way. I am fifteen. I know so much about life. I still live at home but I know about hardship. Waaa." And then quit for like two days before they come crawling back to the fandom and ask all of their followers for forgiveness for being to hasty...right before leaving the fandom again.
Like for example I met a guy who doesn't think the Equestrian Girls universe exists. At all. And if people write fan fictions about it he calls them pedos because the characters are too young to write about.
Every time a new Equestria girls movie is released he leaves the site for a few works. Only to come back and doing critical reviews of the episodes again.
Well there are certainly a lot of FIM fans out there who are strange and I just don't understand. But I guess what makes this fandom so interesting is that there are so many colorful individuals that make up the community.
While the thought processes of some of these fans baffles me it is still great to be part of this awesome community. Because I've met a lot of awesome people in this fandom too. And the awesome people far outnumber the more, eh, 'colorful' individuals.
Random Thought #14: Amy Schuemer has stolen jokes from just about everyone in the entertainment industry and claims that is just a coincidence. But they've done a play by play comparisons of the jokes she has 'accidentally copied' and the original jokes were structured the exact same way as the jokes she is telling now.
In short, it turns out that Amy is a bit of a jerk. That's why I find it amusing that her initials spell AS, which is pretty much ass. And she is one! She also has a big ass. She was aptly named.
In other news, Amy is going to be playing Barbie in the upcoming Barbie film. A big, loudmouthed, stinky Barbie is more like it.
She's an insult to big boned people. Chubby people are beautiful. But Amy gives all of the chubby and delightfully meaty people a bad reputation.
On a slightly related note, I used to pull the heads off Barbie dolls and use them as amo in my slingshot when I was young. I've never liked dolls. They have always creeped me out.
Naturally, I won't be seeing this new Barbie film for more than one reason.
Random Thought #15: Scientists decided to name certain types of birds 'tits' and other types of birds 'boobies'.
They've also given questionable names to many other things throughout the years.
Scientists must be really lonely out there in the field.
There are mountains called The Grand Tetons which means 'The Large Tits' in French. They were named by French explorers.
The explorers climbed the 'boobs' to claim them in the name of science.
Those explorers must have been really lonely too.
So there you have it. There are fifteen random thoughts I have had at one point or another in my life. I will be sharing more of the crazy inner workings of my mind soon. And be sure to share any random thoughts you have had in the comment section below. I would love to read them.
Same.
4403360 Thank you for taking the time to read everything. I am glad that there were some things that stood out and that you could agree with. :)
4403381
Hard to disagree with what i know is true.
4403392 Yay!
well that fills up my random quota for the week
4405668 What can I say? I am a very random person. :P
In any case, thank you for taking the time to read everything. It is very much appreciated.
4405687
That you are Lyra
And your very welcome :3
4407511 Yay!
4407848
Yay indeed
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