Not Like This

Tonight, I'm not posting a chapter of Solstice.

I can explain, honest!

I want to be very clear: this isn't because I can't write a chapter tonight, or because I'm giving up on the story or my New Year's Resolution, or anything like that. I'll admit I'm feeling a little creatively drained today—as I did yesterday, in fact—but that wouldn't stop me from posting something if I really wanted to. I'm not posting a chapter tonight because I need a little bit of time to rethink exactly what it is I want from Solstice, and whether or not my current system is benefiting me.

See, I've always wanted to live by the mantra of "write every day". I've seen it said by so, so many people whom I trust and admire as authors, and I wanted to give that rigorous approach a shot. The idea, of course, is that even if you write something awful, at least you've practiced and worked and produced something every day, and over time all those little bits of practice will add up and you'll get a lot better. But as nice as that sounds, I'm not sure it's working out all that well for me.

I've been writing Solstice as the very last thing I do before bed, and some nights I've been really rushing to get a chapter out and posted before midnight. The deadline helps me get something finished, which is something I've always struggled with (the number of unfinished projects and documents on my PC is, frankly, ridiculous!), but over the last few days I've really started to worry about the quality of the writing that I'm getting out there. Don't get me wrong—I don't want to go back to the days where I don't post anything because it's never quite good enough, but there must be a balance between that and just posting writing that I know is awful and flawed just for the sake of having posted it.

This weighed so much on my conscience for the last two nights that I even allowed myself to miss the deadline by about half an hour, and even then I'm not proud of the results.

I need to take tonight off. I need to head to bed at a sensible hour, not one in the morning; I need to wake up bright and fresh in the mornings, not stumble out of bed at eleven. Most importantly of all, I need the space to stop and think, and try to find a way to incorporate Solstice into my daily schedule without sacrificing quality. "Write daily" may be a mantra I aspire to stick to, but if I don't try to write well every day then I'm not sure it's going to make my writing any better.

I want to write every day, but not like this.

Comments

[Madame Hellspawn]

It's okay man, whatever it takes for you to maintain quality . I can't really give any advice on the matter, but I'll try to put in my two cents:

I think it'd be okay if you can't get something posted when you want to. It can be frustrating, but that's how writing is from my experience. Patience is it's own reward.

So far, I've been very intrigued with Solstice and I can honestly say I'm loving every second of it.

[Crimson_Lance]

I understand completely. Burnout sucks. Please do take your time.