My To Do List · 11:28am Jan 17th, 2017
1. Wear a shirt that says Life. Hand out lemons on street corners.
2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
3. Get into a crowded elevator and say "I bet you're wondering why I've gathered you all here today."
4. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.
5. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
6. Get a parrot. Teach it to say "Help! I've been turned into a parrot!"
7. Follow joggers around in your car blasting 'Eye of the Tiger' for encouragement.
8. Invite someone into your office then turn around in your chair and say "I've been expecting you..."
9. When money comes out of the ATM yell out "I won! I won!"
10. Go to the pet store and buy some bird seed. Ask how long it will take for bird to grow. Wait for reaction.
Go into an elevator and stare at someone with a freaked out expression. After about a minute, exclaim "You're one of them!"
Save someone from tripping or something, then look at your watch or something, and say "The date is (insert date here). He has been saved." Then look back at the guy and say "Your great grandson is an important person."
Get a violin and a flash light. When someone is sleeping, start playing the violin while shining the light in his or her face, and shout "Train!" (don't do this to people with heart conditions).
4386131 omg I should add these XD!
4386187 Yeah, having one friend has its advantages! I'm able to think up funny things like this!