Littlehorn Review · 11:42pm Jan 3rd, 2017
Video Made by Me
Yeah, I know this is two days late, but I've been busy with stuff lately, I apologize.
This week we have another blind review, this time of a one shot that takes us back to before the bombs fell to one of the worst tragedies of the war, the Littlehorn Massacre. So yeah, this week we'll be looking at the fanfic Littlehorn by Recon777.
So, not really much else I can say since I don't really know much about this fanfic, so lets begin.
---The Day That Changed Everything---
“What happened at Littlehorn?”
SteelHooves and Xenith both started at the question. They looked at each other before SteelHooves answered me simply, “Disaster.”
I shivered, knowing I didn’t really want to hear this. But part of me needed to. “Tell me.”
The fanfic starts out by talking about what a hero is. Our main character Autumn Mist seems to have an idea of what, focusing on the features of an Alicorn, the only problem she realizes is that being a hero isn't as easy as drawing one. Misty is a student in her second semester at Luna's School for Gifted Unicorns,
Misty complains that art isn't her first glass of the day, only to have an AI named Dex point out that the easiest class is third period and offers to rearrange her schedule. She then looks at a photograph of herself, her father, Twilight Sparkle and what I believe is Nyx (I haven't ever actually read Past Sins, its on my list of things to read, so I can't comment on that), when she's approached by a pony named Peach who looks over her shoulder and confuses Nyx for Nightmare Moon.
“Ooh, that’s Nightmare—”
Misty gave Peach a dirty look. “This is not Nightmare Moon. It is Nyx. Nightmare Moon doesn’t exist anymore.”
Okay, so again I don't really know anything about Past Sins other than that its what introduced Nyx. Apparently Peach is a bit oblivious when it comes to important ponies, also I'm getting a vibe from Misty that she has a crush on Nyx. She tells Peach more about Nyx's exploits, that she had saved Equestria twice and had nearly killed herself in the process. It, also seems that the Crystal Empire has vanished again, you know I don't really know what to say to that one, just seemed unexpected.
They talk a bit more about Nyx, apparently she tends to be scary to bad guys and foals and she has Nightmare Night presentations every year where she pretends to be Nightmare Moon. There is a definite sense that while she can be scary, she's really nice when you get to know her. Misty seems to want to be like her when she grows up, although Peach points out that she's not an Alicorn.
“I can still be a hero! Someday. You don’t have to be an alicorn to be a hero.”
Well said Misty.
Peach of course has her doubts about this because you'd have to be pretty strong in magic in her opinion... uh, Peach, you really need to read up on your history. Peach seems a lot more interested in science than being a hero, or learning about history apparently. Still, Peach admits that its a noble idea to be a hero like Misty wants.
“Not at all!” She suddenly sat straight up, holding her hoof out dramatically. “I can just see it now—Autumn Mist, the world-famous avenger of ponykind, and Nyx, her faithful sidekick. Just like you said. And I’ll be a famous arcane-chemical engineer, designing a cure for zebras!”
A bit overdramatic isn't she?
Of course even Misty isn't sure whether or not to take Peach seriously. We then learn that Nyx has been working for Stable-Tec in order to test stuff. Also something just occurred to me, this fanfic is before Littlehorn, but some of these things like Stable-Tec and the Ministries happened after it...
Video Belongs to Channel Awesome.
So after that she finishes the picture and its time for class to begin, she kind of wonders why Nyx isn't out helping fight the war. The teacher collects the homework from the previous day and her friend Sugar Bit arrives late. It seems that they're going to learn things that have been forbidden for a long time this semester, that could be interesting. The teacher asks her the four principles of magic: a source of power, power storage capacity, skill, and throughput.
So then the teacher says that they're going to play Hoofball Littlehorn rules. The class files out of the room and goes past several classrooms out into the Hoofball field. We also get a first real look at Luna's school:
Once outside, Misty and her classmates gathered at the edge of the grass hoofball field. The school was a fortress. Things had changed so much since the war heated up over the last year. It used to be just a simple chain-link fence separating the school grounds from the surrounding grassy hills and forests that went up to the edge of the crescent-moon shaped valley. Now… well, it reminded her more of the military compound her dad used to be stationed at. The chain-link fence had been removed, but the ground bulged in places, covering the high tech defensive gun turrets that were now scattered along the border. Celestia wasn’t taking any chances with the war, given the school’s remote location.
Sounds like a lovely school, sign me up!
So the teacher asks the students about the other forms of magic, such as Enchantments and Potions. There's also a mention of what will happen if you try to use more magic than you have stored. So then the game itself begins with Misty being her team's secret weapon. By the third round the game is tied, Misty has the ball and runs for the opposing team's goal. Then apparently the pony guarding the goal turns the ball into a chicken... okay, seriously? But anyway, one of Misty's teammates managed to hit the ball through the goal. Finally the game ends with Misty's team winning three to one.
So as the students go back inside, the teacher takes Misty aside to talk to her about her performance today. It seems that Misty's special talent is about being able to share magical energy with other ponies. The teacher says that she'll be taught to make the most of this unique ability. Misty asks her about the lifestream around the field, and they discuss the nature of magic for Unicorns and Alicorns, and why there aren't more Alicorns than there are. The teacher doesn't seem to know either so she asks for Misty's input.
"Well, my dad says that alicorns are supposed to be able to do things that nopony else can do. Crazy powerful stuff. Things we’ve never seen any of today’s alicorns do. The kind of power that levels mountains and boils the seas.”
There is more of a discussion about the ancient Alicorns and their abilities, Misty shows the teacher the picture of Nyx she had drawn and about how she wonders why Nyx isn't doing more in the war. The teacher tells her that she'll understand more in the future. They then talk more about war magic and the idea of using it to end the war.
If only it was that simple.
Misty meets up with Sugar Bit and Card Trick as lunch time approaches, they talk more about the game, apparently the chicken wasn't the only thing that happened to the ball. It seems that Sugar Bit was more accepted because of her academic skills than raw magical talent, which does make some sense I suppose. We also learn that Card Trick's talent seems to be tied into illusion magic, an interesting idea in itself. They look at Bit's paper, which apparently has a table of contents, geez.
Video Belongs to Fox.
So Misty finds the next class boring and she looks out the window and... oh dear Celestia, its this part. Wagons are leaving the valley up towards the school and are met by the head of security. With that the alarm goes off, and we find out who had approached the school, Zebras. And with that, the sound of gunfire echoes through the school as the Zebras are gunned down by the automatic turrets attached to the school.
Dear Celestia... you knew this was going to happen, but there's nothing that will prepare you for it. The turrets had gunned down innocent civilians, the Littlehorn Massacre had begun. And with that, the screams began as the Zebra infiltrators entered the school and started killing everypony in their path. Then the school starts to get filled with the Pink Cloud and...
I can't do this, I can't describe this much pain and death... this is too much for even me.
Misty wept from her sightless eyes as understanding finally came to her. Heroes. True heroes were not some fantasy pony able to overcome any challenge. Sometimes… sometimes, there’s simply nothing that can be done except to give what you have. Misty got her greatest wish.
She opened her mouth to speak in a hoarse whisper. “Nyx… I’m sorry I doubted you. I still believe in he—”
Finally, she lost all her magical strength, and her shield collapsed. The fog rushed in and claimed her. She felt the warm blood running freely down her face. The last thing she thought of was her parents, and how she wished she could see them one last time. Autumn Mist was twelve years old when she died.
I... don't even know what to say anymore...
---Character Analysis: Autumn Mist---
Talking about a foal in stories like this is never easy, Autumn Mist has a bit of a hero worship complex when it comes to ponies like Nyx. This is an interesting idea, and it shows the nature of her character, she wants to do what's right, she wants to be a hero... and in a way she did get her wish at the end, in a sad way.
The fic is right, being a hero isn't about great deeds, its about being able to stand for what's right. Misty died a painful death, but not before in a way fulfilling her dream. However, hear death is still heartbreaking, especially at such a young age... I don't even know what to do here...
Misty is an interesting character for many reasons, and I wish that I had gotten a chance to get to know her better. She's a good pony who wants to do the right thing, but it doesn't completely work out for her. Maybe if she hadn't been at Littlehorn, things could've been different...
Anyway, I ultimately like her as a character and I commend the author for doing a good job on her and her friends.
---Final Thoughts---
While In Memory Of was the hardest to review, this is darn close especially towards the end. It was, really well done even though its not perfect here and there, I enjoyed reading it.
The fic itself could've used some more work in terms of continuity, but ultimately it does a great job to tell the story that it wanted to. It ended sad yes, but it was well done enough that I enjoyed it a lot.
Littlehorn gets a final score of 4/5, its not perfect but its well done.
Fallout: Equestria belongs to KKat.
Littlehorn belongs to Recon777.
Nyx belongs to Pen Stroke.
Next time, we review a fanfic that is about tracking down a mysterious killer.
Also to make up for missing this week's review day I'll be reviewing again tomorrow.
Video Made by Me
Well, this was unexpected. Thanks for reviewing Littlehorn.
Review of the review:
I had entirely forgotten that this was coming at all. So this was like finding an extra Christmas present in January.
"class". Though this isn't really an important detail in the story other than worldbuilding.
This should be interesting.
I suppose having read Past Sins would have helped a bit here, though hopefully, the situation comes across regardless. Nyx is, literally, Nightmare Moon. She was brought back by a cult intent on having her take over Equestria, only for something to go wrong with the spell and she came back as a little filly with no memories. She was raised by Twilight Sparkle as a good pony. In the story Littlehorn, she is an adult again because this is some years later.
Hero worship, nothing more. She does have a crush on somepony else, though.
It's an important plot event that happens after the prologue of my other story. The Crystal Empire doesn't exist in the Fo:E verse, and though my verse is an alternate timeline, I still have the CE not be there, as it vanished under mysterious circumstances.
lol well the story literally says this. Tell us what you think of the situation as a reveiwer.
The Ministries have not been formed yet. Twilight has her Research Institute, and StableTec is in its early stages of equipment design. No continuity problems here. Fo:E does not say when StableTec was founded. But it would have had to be pretty early on to give them time to do everything they did. Still... in my story, it does exist pre-Littlehorn.
lol.
One of many tricks. The point here is that a multitalented unicorn can do some really unexpected things. That's a bit of worldbuilding for my other story. And honestly, it's not much different than Twilight temporarily turning an orange into a frog now, is it?
Well, specifically, she can link herself to another unicorn and perform their abilities herself through the link. Or transfer her own energy to another to boost their natural ability. This is just a bit of world building on the magical metaphysics of this universe. But it comes in handy in the climax, doesn't it?
lol. You did read the hoofball scene, yes? About fifteen unique things happen to that poor ball. And that's just what was mentioned.
Now this is a legitimate crush.
Mmm... Yes. It's this part. The part you all probably forgot was coming, didn't you? Be honest, now... It's just another normal day at school, isn't it? Yes, nothing unusual happening this day. Just another... Just...
Yeah... Well, her father is an important character in my other story. Maybe I can include more of Misty in a flashback or something.
Also, one of my editors wants to do a bit of an overhaul on Littlehorn, expanding on details and characterization. So that's on the todo list as well.
'her'
Not much detail is provided in Fo:E regarding the pre-Littlehorn situation. I've had to make up a lot of it myself for the main story. Most of the details that could have been provided to help link things to Fo:E would have been superfluous to the story. But having Nyx work at StableTec was probably worth mentioning, since that's an important premise in the main story anyway.
If I may point out, the first half of your review just... says what happens. That's not a review. It's Cliff's Notes. Honestly, why would you just paste random events into your review rather than providing any feedback on overall story quality? Important things like characterization, pacing, tone, flow, worldbuilding, theme, structure, and presentation? This is what a review needs to provide. Not a summary of events.
Overall, thanks for the positive review of the story, though! It would have been good to hear your detailed thoughts and feelings about the important storytelling elements I listed above. Especially how Misty's character arc ties in with her actions at the end. No mention of Misty's crush on Tricky, or how that developed in the climax. Or how the slaughter unfolds both in pacing and thematically. How did you feel about the use of a child's POV as well, and how that affects the presentation? When you review a story, maybe do less listing of events and more analysis on the storytelling elements themselves.
But still, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
4368214 Well the review was blind which means I don't go back and correct early mistakes so it's genuine, so can't fix the crush on Nyx thing.
One thing is that I do these basically as cliffs notes, talking about what I think was done well and what wasn't. I probably could do a lot better, but there is always a lot left unsaid so that readers can go and see it for themselves.
The crush on Card Trick though... that was my bad, I should have mentioned that.
As for the continuity thing, I'll give you Stable-Tec, but the ministries weren't established until Luna ascended the throne, which was after Littlehorn.
4368312
Correct. And the Ministries were not mentioned in this story at all.
They are, however, freshly established in my main story, which takes place six months later.
4368761 You're right, I'm sorry, I made mistakes with this one, my bad.