Sweet Celestia, where have you been!? (Also, I need your advice)

Geez, it's starting to seem like I only write apologies for delays. Blame it on being overly-Fluttershy, I guess.

Nevertheless, it seems I have some explaining to do. I haven't updated any of my stories in a while, and UM16 ended on a pretty nasty cliffhanger. Readers of that story, don't you worry, chapter 3 is already half-written. All I need to do is start powering through that once again. But talking about why I haven't finished that chapter actually highlights a serious issue I've been dealing with when it comes to my writings:

I simply have too many of them.

This is an issue I've touched on in my last blog post (all the way from last year. Geez, has it really been that long?) about why I canceled Dreams of the Sky. To put it simply, as it currently stands, these are the projects I'm working on:

- The Atomic Trilogies, my own original work and the staple of my if-you-can-even-call-it-that career. The first three books take up about a million words, and all need to be edited before publication. The other two trilogies are barely written, and if they're as long as the first one, then I've got a lot of work ahead of me.
- Diane's Story, a graphic-novel side-story AU to the Atomics, which is looking to be an even scarier time investment, at probably 2000 weeks.
- Champion of the Sun, a video game that would be a startlingly-substantial time investment if I end up going for it (which I will. I'm just waiting on a programmer)
- Rebel Radio, another video game that's hit the same roadblock as CotS, so I can't estimate the time investment involved.
- Undermountain #16, which I currently estimate to round off at about 200k words. Barely 25k of those are actually written.
- Zero-Three, another pony-fiction that I haven't posted here, mostly because its status is in a VERY dubious position.
- Second Moon, a fascinating little idea I had for a pony-fic that simply won't leave me alone. Current estimates on size are dubious at best, but it's probably sitting at 50k words or so. We'll see.
- Dreams of the Sky, that one ponyfic that got no attention and I STILL haven't come back to. I estimate its finished size to also be in the 50k range.
- Madoka Magica Awakening. A madoka magica fanfiction that I've been meaning to come back to for a while now, and that will probably round off in the 100k word range.
- A Trio of Bladed Souls, an original work based on a D&D campaign I'm running that looks to be positively MASSIVE. Seriously. A million words minimum.

And this is just my suite of primary projects. I have about a dozen (and that's even a conservative estimate) that are waiting to be started, along with trying to publish my already-completed books. Put it all together, and you get a pretty damn daunting task, one that makes a girl start to have second thoughts about that much time and effort being invested.

The other obvious issue is my need to pay my rent and bills. After all, writing fanfiction is certainly fun, but it doesn't put a roof over my head, and frankly, I don't want it to. At the very most, this is a hobby, and while I do plan to publish my original works, that's a supplement to my income, at best. My mother is a professional artist and actress, and I've seen enough of the everyday issues and stresses to know that that's not the kind of life I could handle.

Which leaves me in an odd position. Because of the nature of this writing, my current situation in life, and even my dwindling dedication to the pony fandom in general, this work here would be the first thing to be cut. But on the other hand, that doesn't seem very fair, to you guys or the characters themselves. After all, I have almost all of every plot and character planned out, and they've all taken a special place in my heart. Shutting them and their stories down just feels like a disservice to both them and their struggles, as well as a disservice to you guys and your enjoyment of these stories.

(At least, UM16. DotS has received startlingly little love, though not without good reason. To be fair, I never expected either to suddenly become immensely popular, but let's just say I'll be wholeheartedly surprised if anyone actually responds to this blog post)

So, I thought I'd ask you guys about which option I should take moving forward with my writing, since you're the ones who'll be most directly affected by it. These are my options:

1) Cut out the fanfiction. As much as I hate to admit it, I need to pay the bills somehow, and it won't be like my fanfictions will suddenly become Fallout: Equestria levels of famous. It will pain me to do it, but if things get rough, I may have to drop the axe on anything that won't pay, and that means everything I have planned for this site. At least until my situation stabilizes somewhat. However, given that I have no idea when that'll be...you guys could be waiting a VERY long time. Definitely not the best option for everyone involved.

2) Cut everything but UM16. Undermountain #16 is probably one of my favorite fanfictions that I've written, and it's easily gotten the most attention by far, so it makes sense to take these fanfictions one at a time and cut out the others (starting with UM16). This would certainly help UM16 get down to business a lot quicker, as the upcoming chapters are easily some of my favorites, but there are other stories that I desperately want to continue. Second Moon in particular is shaping up to be a narrative and philosophical powerhouse, and nipping it in the bud before it has a chance to flourish just feels...somehow unclean.

3) Remove all free time. Yes, believe it or not, a lot of my lacking productivity can be attributed to...free time (Overwatch in particular. Luna help me, playing Mercy is like my crack...). The issue with this is that I know first-hand how dangerous overworking yourself can get, and mental stress can be really hard to deal with over long periods of time. Don't get me wrong, I could certainly do it, but it would be a truly taxing experience. And one of my greatest fears is coming to resent this hobby for causing me so much pain and stress, perhaps even quitting writing entirely just out of spite (like I almost did once. It's a long and unpleasant story, so I'll spare you the details). Overall, this is the best option for you guys, but...not so much for me. XD

4) Open up a Patreon (or something similar). Believe it or not, this is my least-favorite option, for two reasons. First, I don't think my stories have enough of a following right now to be able to pay for themselves. But the second one is just that...it doesn't sit well with me. In my mind, if you give someone something for free (like a fanfiction), then immediately ask for money using that free thing as what amounts to a hostage...that REALLY doesn't sit well with me (at least when I'm the one asking. I certainly don't mind donating. ). Plus, I wouldn't have any kind of rewards or anything. So yeah...I don't like this option, but it's there.

5) Loan out some ideas. This one is...strange, but it basically consists of finding willing and capable authors who I trust, and giving them full creative control on the concepts I've designed. The issues with this are twofold, with the obvious one being finding willing and capable authors. A lot of my stories are long and complex (it's a problem I have), and most authors aren't willing to take on that kind of time and effort investment for what amounts to a pseudo-collab. The other issue is that...well...these are my babies. These stories and my characters have been nurtured and planned out immensely, down to the most minute details, and all of them are there for a reason. Handing them to someone else would take a lot of trust, something I don't exactly have in spades. Admittedly, though, this would cut the workload down immensely, so...I'm on the fence about this.

6) Steady as she goes. This option is exactly what it sounds like. I'll keep writing as much as I can, but making little progress on any fronts. Chapters would typically have waits of months between them (especially for UM16, since its chapters are tremendous), but progress would be made on every story simultaneously. This is the easiest option for me, since I don't have to abandon anything or change anything. But then, we run into the same issue that prompted this post. Whether or not that's worth it to you guys...I'll leave that up to you.

All in all, I'm looking at a pretty tricky crossroads here, when you guys would be the ones most affected by it all. So because of that, I'd like your input, on which option you'd like to see me pick. Seriously, if you care what happens, then please let me know. Otherwise, I'm just taking a shot in the dark as to what I should do. And that's NEVER fun.

Assuming anyone actually reads this. It HAS been a long time. ...we'll see, I guess.

In any case, if you made it this far, thanks for reading it! And let me know what you have to say!

~Nessie