Hey. A blog.

Not even sure if I'm going to do many of these, and I don't really even have any followers to push this out to, but hell to it.

Writing is hell for me because I'm always stuck in such a muddled mindscape. I'm always panicking because I fear my closest friends are tired of me, I'm always brimming with musical creativity which makes it hard as fuck for me to concentrate on literature, and more than half the time I just generally lack motivation. I can't even begin to explain how many times I write a story and it just...stays there. In limbo. There's currently another story that I've somehow sunk nearly thirty thousand words into, but it's remained in limbo because every time I try to work on it I just lose motivation, or get struck by a Fresh Bout of Depression.

I started that story back in September 17th, 2015. Fourteen days after my birthday. It was the pure definition of 'a labour of love', because at first, I loved writing it. It was a character that I channeled myself through; the character was me, as much as I hate to admit it, because most people hate self-insert stories. I was free to go wherever I wanted with the story, because I wasn't bound by things such as crossover lore, or previously established characters and personalities (besides typical horsefriends, of course.)

But I guess I lost my love for it somewhere along the lines. The latest chapter only has 280 words. I haven't touched it in a month. That and it's difficult to write a story that's incredibly based around music. It doesn't translate well.

Regardless, it's refreshing and honestly fantastic to see such positive reactions to my first actual story. The only other one I've ever published was a Hawken crossover (seems like I have some kind of interest in mechs, lmao) and that actually got decent reception as well, despite me deleting it literally a couple days later. It was also a lot more mature.

Thank you to anyone who sees this after reading and possibly liking Trust Me. I'm glad that I could finally make something that people enjoyed, even if the constant temptation to delete the entire story and start over is incredibly strong. I can't promise you timely updates, for all the reasons I've already mentioned here. I'm working on my music in most of my spare time, and typically I'm indulging in video games to escape from reality. But hey, if you want to join me there, shoot me a message and I'll see about giving you my steam/origin username.

TL:DR - Life is hell. My mind is hell. Not sure if there'll be an update for Trust Me this coming week, but maybe the week after, after I get myself out of my mental clusterfuck.

(Also, props to Cuber Snuggles for giving me a sneaky little shoutout in a blog. I'm sorry for screwing your story plans over! )