a little context on last night.

I was watching and listening to a lot of Poppy and Mars Argo stuff. At night. I don't know about you guys, but depending on the night, I can get a bit weird. Usually it's just acting really crazy, kinda like a giggly and silly drunk, but if I watch the right (wrong?) thing, sometimes I can feel a little different.

What I'm trying to say is, while last night wasn't normal, it wasn't anything really to be worried about. Admittedly, I also encouraged it because, while I don't have a "real" way to feel insane/crazy, that was the closest I could get. And I find it interesting to be in these strange moods where I don't feel like myself just to experience it and potentially apply it to a story. Again, I didn't actually go insane, but instead stayed in the mindset for the sake of a story or a potential story, just to see how it felt. I guess it could be considered unhealthy? But I don't do this all the time. In fact, last night was the first time I'd felt the whole insane bit.

I've posted before about something similar, where I was writing a story that was very violent and psychologically/emotionally scarring in first person, and thus ended up transferring those emotions to myself as a result. Weatherbug and Stygian both figured that being highly empathetic and the story being in first person contributed to those temporary fears then. Last night, it was just me watching videos that were slightly off (the way they spoke was odd and sometimes unsettling on purpose, and Mars Argo's voice is a higher pitch than is normal, which can change how songs sound) and then any other videos or songs that weren't necessarily like the others, but the kind to keep me in the mindset.

Again, don't be worried for me. Last night was mostly an experiment. It definitely felt strange, and I won't really be doing that again unless I actually have someone I can talk with when I'm ready to leave this "insanity" mindset.