Anxiety and Depression: An Outsider's Guide

So to begin, I'd like to give a bit of an educational background.
There's a huge difference between depression and anxiety the adjectives, and depression and anxiety the disorder.
When you hear depression or anxiety, you may think "Sad or anxious". Yeah, those are nowhere close. I'm sure there are plenty of self-diagnosed people who may or may not be right. However, you're not a doctor so please don't try to guess which one it is.
While I'm rather ignorant about what exactly goes on in the brain to cause anypony to develop depression/anxiety, or how it even begins, I'd like to drop a few suggestions on what to do for someone.
Don't:
Try to take random stabs at what wrecked their mood. My dad used to take blind guesses at why I was angry, and tell me it's not a big deal. What he doesn't understand, is it's not actually a thing, it's a memory that thing digs up that I'm actually mad at, but in the moment I don't actually know WHY I'm upset, I just am. As far as depression goes, it may or may not be anything. Sometimes things get me down, and I try to cheer myself up. Other times, I'm just down and out, and attempting to "cheer me up" does nothing, because it's not a mood thing. Repeat this one more time: it's not a mood thing.
Your natural instincts may lead you to try and solve the problem. For a normal mood shift or someone who's just having a bad day, have at it. But depression or anxiety as in the disorder, is not necessarily something you can fix. I know it can be frustrating wanting to help, and not being able to do so, but keep in mind the person is probably in the same boat. Which leads me to #2
Don't get mad at the person when you can't help them. I've had many flairs of depression. It's not as simple as cheering up. Sometimes yes, all I need is some good vibes, other times I'm just gone and I have no idea why. As I said before, don't attempt to guess which one. People who get depressed can get both the normal "sadness" that you can empathize with, and also the depression, that is a chemical imbalance in the brain, that there's no real fix for, besides making the immediate environment less stressful for an already stressed out person.

I know it may be confusing, and you might be asking yourself
"What's the difference between being sad and being depressed?"
Anyone can get sad. Having a bad day, or receiving some bad news can easily bring that on, but that's not depression. A lot of people will say they're depressed as in the adjective, not the disorder, and vice versa. Being depressed as in the disorder, is a chemical imbalance in the brain, causing "extreme sadness" that isn't something you or they can really do anything about. SCIENCE TIME!
Emotions are chemicals in the brain.

"It's often said that depression results from a chemical imbalance, but that figure of speech doesn't capture how complex the disease is. Research suggests that depression doesn't spring from simply having too much or too little of certain brain chemicals. Rather, depression has many possible causes, including faulty mood regulation by the brain, genetic vulnerability, stressful life events, medications, and medical problems. It's believed that several of these forces interact to bring on depression.To be sure, chemicals are involved in this process, but it is not a simple matter of one chemical being too low and another too high. Rather, many chemicals are involved, working both inside and outside nerve cells. There are millions, even billions, of chemical reactions that make up the dynamic system that is responsible for your mood, perceptions, and how you experience life.With this level of complexity, you can see how two people might have similar symptoms of depression, but the problem on the inside, and therefore what treatments will work best, may be entirely different."

So what CAN you do for someone? Respect the fact they they might not even know why they're depressed, or what you can do to help. If you really care that much, try to reduce any stress in the environment by removing irritations or expectations. If you honestly just want nothing to do with it, leave them the hell alone then.

And what about anxiety? Dr.Mecola says it best. Anxiety/panic attacks, like depression, are not simply a mood thing. Feeling anxious, and having an anxiety attack are different. Anxiety attacks are similar to that rush you get when you miss a step on the stairs and your heart skyrockets. Now imagine that feeling never leaves. Someone who gets anxiety attacks may be used to social stresses meaning danger. Imagine you're nervous about going to a party. Now imagine that nervousness tying into your fight or flight reflexes. Instead of just being nervous, your brain tells you you're in some type of danger.
Fight reflex in relation to anxiety:
My anxiety attacks are most likely different than most people on this site, because my anxiety attacks invoke the urge to fight off a threat, that's not actually there, but my brain screams it at me and convinces me that I'm in real danger. I'm acustom to simple negative social influences meaning danger, because I grew up being abused by people who attack me after acting crappy to me, so my brain has began to associate being a dick, with being attacked.
On the other side of the spectrum, the same thing can happen, but someone can experience the urge to hide/flee. Sometimes this can be caused by something in their past, or it can actually be a genetic trait.

"Anxiety is a natural, normal response to potential threats, which puts your body into a heightened state of awareness.When felt appropriately, anxiety is beneficial and can keep you out of harm's way… the anxiety you may feel while hiking near a steep drop-off, for instance, will cause you to be more careful and purposeful in your movements. For an estimated 40 million US adults, however, anxiety may occur even when there's no real threat, causing unnecessary stress and emotional pain. While many believe anxiety and stress to be the same, persistent anxiety actually evokes quite a different experience in your brain.

Anxiety could easily be caused by the amount of chemicals we put into our food. Decades ago, processed food and additives weren't as common, which could explain why there's a rise in reported cases of both anxiety and depression.

"Anxiety does evoke the same "fight or flight" response that stress does, which means, like stress, anxiety will trigger a flood of stress hormones like cortisol designed to enhance your speed, reflexes, heart rate, and circulation. However, stress can occur with feelings of anger, sadness, or even happiness and excitement.Anxiety, on the other hand, virtually always involves a sense of fear, dread, or apprehension. And while stress may occur due to an external source (like an argument with your spouse), anxiety tends to be a more internal response.Further, brief anxiety may coincide with a stressful event (such as speaking in public), but an anxiety disorder will persist for months even when there's no clear reason to be anxious. While the exact causes for anxiety disorders are unknown, your brain is actively involved."

For me, relieving my anxiety can be as simple as you listening to me when I ask you not to block the door, or take a few steps back because you're "too close for comfort". Some may need reinforcement that certain things will be okay. As I've said about depression, "Respect the fact they they might not even know why they're depressed, or what you can do to help". My BFF sometimes needs reassurance that she hasn't done anything wrong, or that something won't be as hard as it may seem, or that I'll punch anyone in the face that picks on her.
Regardless, never underestimate how bad depression or anxiety can be. Once again, they're not "being sad or anxious" they're actually tied into the very reflexes that your brain uses to put you on autopilot for your safety, even if there's no real danger. Be understanding, patient, kind and above all, listen to the person.
Thank you, DC.

Comments

[Blue Whirl]

In my case...

Depression: I don't really care about anything, it's not even worth the effort.

Anxiety: I care too much about everything, just trying to keep my shit together.

Constantly worrying about keeping my grades up, and not caring to do the work. I want to see my friends so I don't lose them all, but I stay home all day, because I don't want to make the effort.

I'm simply saying what it's like for me. It may not be as bad as it could, but having both depression and anxiety is really just crappy.

[Dark Chocolate]

4206693 yeah that's one of the worse mixtures, I'm sorry dude!