A new princess is in town… · 11:59am Jul 16th, 2016
A new princess is in town…
Meet Princess Tempora Tempura. Destroyer of Hamburger! Conqueror of dim sum!
But most importantly, winner of our hearts.
Twilight remembered fondly the legend of Princess Tempura, a fervent warrior who had tempura batter for a mane, which contrasted quite drastically with her jet-black coat. Her role in the ruling of Equestria was unstated in said legend, but it must have been an important one as the legend was set in “a time when ponies couldn’t even afford a deep fryer”.
The legend, a cautionary parable, continues thus: Princess Tempura had flaunted her cutie mark, a piece of deep-fried shrimp, on her marble breastplate with much gusto. Unfortunately, marble was quite heavy a material, and the moment she entered the battlefield with her trusty tempura shrimp sword, she died from the excess weight. Nopony mourned for her at her nonexistent funeral, for she was too unpleasant to the eye, exacerbated by the fact that ponies’ eyes had a very large surface area for unpleasant colours to reach.
Historians say that her cutie mark is symbolic, as “shrimp” in Early Modern Equuish was apparently a derogatory term for an amateur—a weakling, and the deep-frying represented the coming-of-age from an amateur to a full-fledged master at a skill. Oh, and the fact that she had good taste in food, as well. Yeah, that.
Her body was rediscovered by a group of “scientists” in 982 C.E. (Celestial Era, for the uninformed) buried not too deeply in the now-taken-over-by-strawberries battlefield of the War that Involved Terrible Things of which We Shall Never Speak, which historians also say involved two large groups of ponies donning the most ridiculous and absurd costumes and fighting against each other with épées. They all died. Rumour had it that one of them was a changeling, though this has never been confirmed.
In the discovery of Princess Tempura’s body, it was revealed that her wings have been duct-taped on. In addition, her cutie mark was not a deep-fried shrimp, but, in fact a black circle. Just a black circle, nothing else. They had much trouble discerning the black from the black, you see. From the evidence they had collected, the “scientists” concluded that some parts of the legend was fabricated by “some historians who can’t do their research properly, them knobheads”.
The specimen remains preserved in the Royal Canterlot Museum for abnormal ponies to take a gander at.
And no, that is not going to be a part of a new story.[1]
[1]True fact: changelings are infamous for lying and deceit.[2]
[2]Truer fact: I actually have no intention of turning this shitpost into a story.
Nice. Oh, don't forget King Ramen! Ruler of the Noodles!
4095382 Looks like I won’t be getting sleep any time soon…
… and that’s done. It’s 1am and I’m a bit too tired for good ideas.
Finish the story Chryssi!
...
Go to sleep.
4095686 But wait, there’s more…
See below. (I don’t know why I’m doing this)
4095448
Let’s see…
… okay, that’s enough Tempura, even for me. I hope that satisfies your hunger for… whatever this is supposed to be.
*A portmanteau of 和菓子 + 死ぬ. I tried.
Edit: oh, and don’t think I haven’t noticed your change in username… (Setakarn --> Set)
It was confusing seeing your username return a 404 until I saw this.
4096809 , also changed the prof pic. The pic i used before was REALLY old, it looks very childish too