I made a mistake...

They (who THEY are, we'll never know) say "Write what you know". So I did. It was slow, but fine. But I think I made a horrible, horrible mistake. My first (only) story I was working on was a nice little story about Stormwing and how he came to end up with his pet ferret, Salen. It was cute, it was a bit sappy, and it was based on part of my past. Just small touches, here and there. Stormwing was a reflection of me, a younger me who was a bit lost for a while.

I had planned to finish the story, but Flurry Heart happened, and ruined the wonderful connection I was going to use with Stormwing being one of a few "weatherponies of the Crystal Empire". But that failed, so I got back to rethinking the ending...

...And that past that I was writing about became part of my present. Like the Smooze, it just sort of sprung out from the darkness, leaving me feeling mentally drained and very angry.

I won't go into what or why, but I think I will put Carry On Wayward Storm aside, shelf the whole story, and instead focus on a newer story, one where Stormwing can stretch his wings towards the future, and not focus so much on a past that is far too close for comfort once more.

Sadly, this means I will have some really good material (by my standards) occupying my "Never To See The Light Of Day" shelf, but at least maybe I'll feel less uncomfortable as I write. Writing shouldn't make me feel this uncomfortable. Like drawing, I want to do it because I want to have fun, and not dwell in the dark ruins of my mind. Luckily, I have a good friend who's making sure I don't do anything bad. But for now, it's for the best. Maybe I will release it later, when it doesn't feel like a fresh scab being pealed off the skin.