Edits to Alicornae, gonna resubmit to EQD

So I spent about 2 & 1/2 hours last night listening to Pontiff Sulyvahn's theme from Dark Souls III and hammering through all the changes that the EQD pre-reader wanted me to make. Most of them are little mechanical and syntax fixes that you probably wouldn't even notice unless you were looking for them, but the big one I worked on was expanding the scope of Starlit's "vision" from about half-way through the chapter. After reading what the pre-reader said about it (that it read like "someone going to the post office"), I decided to spice up some of the language and make it seem less like she's watching a movie and more like she's in a dream (kind of like going into the Giant Memories in Dark Souls II).

Anyway, please enjoy these revisions, I worked a long time on them for your reading pleasure! I'll be re-submitting to EQD later today, so wish me luck!