Information On Guilty Hornet Version 2 · 7:18pm May 29th, 2016
Whilst the new version is still a little way off of being on site (I want to have a buffer of a few chapters before submitting this time, to try and avoid the ungodly waits from last time) I thought that since I'm making a good few changes from the first version to this one, you might appreciate something of a run-down of how it's going to be.
Plot:
In terms of the basic synopsis, the plot remains quite similar, at least at the start. As before, Twilight gains serious injuries in the fight with Chrysalis and has to be petrified to buy time to save her. This time, however, her injuries are more treatable (though still very serious) and I'm using a petrification spell (think cockatrice and/or Discord) rather than a stasis spell to better conform to canon.
The further we get from the first chapter, the more different things get. I'm taking a different, more sensible route with it this time, which means a lot of the bits in later chapters which sort of swelled the story out of control won't be happening. There's going to be a lot more focus on the core premise of saving Twilight, with the other main conflict being Chrysalis's attempts to run Equestria now that she's taken it over.
Planned plot points from the original which won't be appearing in the new one (because they're stupid) include a multi-chapter changeling civil war arc (told you they were stupid), a bizarre plot detour involving Discord and crack shipping (really, really stupid), and Luna as some semi-Nightmare-Moon villain thingy (I mean, did I hit my head or what?) and a big showdown with King Sombra (seriously, was I high?) While none of them actually happened in the original story, setting them up resulted in a lot of the story's weird plot elements and rapidly swelling OC count (most of them only existed so I could kill them off in the civil war bit) so I'll be trying to avoid those mistakes in the new version.
True to its main premise, the story will end shortly after the final attempt to save Twilight, which, along with limiting the other parts of the plot which come into play, should keep the story shorter than last time. I have ideas for a sequel, but I'm just focusing on writing and finishing something for once, so this story will only go that far.
Characters:
The original story had way too many characters, and too many unnecessary OCs, so I'm limiting the number of them in the rewrite, as well as replacing many of them with canon characters wherever possible. Most of the OCs have either been combined into one character from multiple, replaced or outright cut.
Here's the full list of V1 characters and their fates in the new one:
Starlit Scrolls - replaced; Rarity and Rainbow Dash fill different parts of her role and expand it
Princess Maxilla - returning; changed to be more of a sibling figure for Chrysalis
Lady Prisca Slate - returning; combined with some minor changeling characters who weren't needed
Lord Blackbottle - cut completely
Lady D'Otho - cut along with the whole stupid civil war plotline; some elements recycled into Lady Slate
Lord Marbled Iris - cut; some elements recycled into the remaining changeling OCs
Duke Praegrandis Mollis - returning; combined equally with Noble Mantle, the Praetorian captain, under Mollis's name and title
Praetorian Decanus Noble Mantle - absorbed; combined with Mollis's character, who now has Mantle's job but keeps Mollis's title
Imperator Labium - returning; no longer such a semi-villainous character now that the civil war thing's scrapped
Decanus Grey Area (Psych Warfare Head) - cut; combined with Labium and Mollis
Sub-Imperator Mandible - cut; combined with Mollis, who also fills this role
Praetorian Sub-Decanus Sabre Flourish - cut; this many soldier characters aren't needed
Praetorian Legionary Tyria - cut; this many soldier characters aren't needed
Legionary Emerald (Flourish's fiance) - cut; this many soldier characters aren't needed
Tyria's husband - cut; completely unnecessary
The Gannet - cut; this many soldier characters aren't needed
Chrysalis's family - cut; they aren't anywhere near as relevant in V2
Blueblood - completely changed; now a major character and competent semi-antagonist rather than 1-dimensional gag character
Spike - significantly changed; now a major character involved in saving Twilight
Celestia - significantly changed; now a supporting character rather than sketchy kind-of-antagonist
Luna - significantly changed; less of a direct threat than a general worry, and a heck of a lot less melodramatic
Seeker - cut; completely irrelevant character who had way too much screen time for such a minor element
The changes might be somewhat confusing in this format, so I'll also include a list of the V2 characters, which also includes characters not originally in the first story. Not going into too much detail on their V2 roles for spoilers' sake, but you should have a decent idea from the first list. Some characters may appear twice due to overlapping roles.
List of V2 Characters - In Order of Priority:
Protagonist:
- Chrysalis
Deuteragonists:
- Rainbow Dash and Rarity
Supporting Characters:
- Spike, Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants
- Celestia
- Princess Maxilla, Duke Mollis, Imperator Labium
- Lady Slate
- Princess Cadance and Shining Armour
Minor Antagonists:
- Prince Blueblood and Fancy Pants
- Twilight's other friends, Princess Cadance and Shining Armour
- Princess Luna
- Imperator Labium
Other:
The chapter size for this new story will be much smaller than the previous version, around 2500-3500 words each, because I burn out much more quickly on big chapters than I do on smaller chapters like I used for my other story.
I'm writing in first person, present tense this time, rather than past tense, because it flows better that way.
I plan to structure the story in 5-chapter blocks, broken up by short interludes of 1000-2000 words focusing on other characters. These will probably be in third person to avoid perspective confusion.
In Conclusion:
The story's coming along nicely and I plan to upload it in the next month or so, luck permitting. If you have any questions about the new version, please leave a comment and I will respond ASAP. I'd like to thank you all so very much for your patience, and give a special thank you to D48 for all their help behind the scenes in getting V2 off the ground.
Look forward of seeing the story. I was disappointed that it got cancelled but happy that you are continuing it with a new twist.
3987776 Thank you, I'm glad to hear it!
No wonder you were having problems. You could have probably fit one of these in the story, along with Chrysalis struggling to rule and save Twilight. Two would have been a little awkward but not entirely impossible. All four are way too much.
3996127
Yep. For whatever reason I was never satisfied with what I had and had to come up with some new spectacular thing to happen. Way too many conflicts to easily do, and that's without considering how many of them would have been a good idea to do. All of them distracted from what was supposed to be the main premise, as well, which isn't really what you want. V2 should keep to the premise much better, with only two main sources of conflict: Chrysalis trying to find a cure for Twilight, and Chrysalis trying to run Equestria.
Those two, I think, should provide more than enough excitement, especially with regards to character interaction. I've come to value character drama a lot more than I used to, and big dramatic battles a lot less, so I can see that the story doesn't need some big showdown to have interesting conflict. It's been a learning experience, for sure, and I hope to deliver a story which is a marked improvement over the last.
Thanks for being so patient, and I hope to see you when the new version releases.