• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 9th, 2017

GodOfBBQ


This is an Art Account Now, PM Me if You Have Any Requests: See Rules to Requests Below...

More Blog Posts294

  • 385 weeks
    Here's the Deal

    He'll slip n' slide on this banana peel.

    Anyway, remember when I said "We're Back in Business" I never said I was going to continue to literary part. I'll be open for requests at any time. I'll illustrate covers, OCs, erotic art, anything. However, my only rule is:
    They must be humanized. None of that furry shit.
    I have the right to refuse a request. Simple as that.

    Read More

    1 comments · 744 views
  • 391 weeks
    Back In Business Boys...

    "The time comes when a man's gotta stop running away and face things..."
    "'Bout time, you silly deity, you..."

    0 comments · 621 views
  • 404 weeks
    Finally the Finale to the OCA Contest... Jesus Christ, This Took Forever.

    "Your streak was just broken..." Gob pulled the hammer back and the familiar clicking of a loaded gun sounded. With an almost sadistic smile, he watched as Vanessa squirmed and wiggled, or tried to, out from under Gob's hold.

    Read More

    4 comments · 615 views
  • 406 weeks
    What I've Been Up To [Update]

    So as you all know I went on and sort of still am on a break from my job here at FimFiction and I'm assuming you're all wondering what I've been up to! Well, here's some examples of my work recently.

    I've officially begun my artist hobby on DeviantArt and I'm posting much more frequently. Here's some work of mine.

    Read More

    10 comments · 730 views
  • 410 weeks
    "Me" Time

    For those who have noticed my absence, I will explain myself to you and will answer any questions about the OCA contest as of where it stands and what not.
    To start off, the contest is still going on. Part two will be posted eventually. However, I've been meaning to tell you guys this for a while since my audience plays a huge role in my career as a writer.

    Read More

    3 comments · 655 views
Apr
20th
2016

OC Apprentice Challenge 6 Results... I think it's the 6th challenge anyway... · 4:30am Apr 20th, 2016

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. McMahon, I'll see to it your company is in GOOD hands... Right, sorry, half the company is in GOOD hands." Gob smiled with triumph as he thought about his recent deal and success. It would be a very wonderful surprise to the finalists of the OCA. Gob leaned back in his leather chair and sighed a satisfied breath of air. Suddenly, he heard a knock at the door.

"It's open!" Gob called out, having a good feeling of who it was. As he predicted, it was Candle carrying a small tablet.

"Good afternoon, sir. So, did the business deal with Mr. McMahon go well?" She asked.

"Well, why don't you check the news, Miss Light! See for yourself!" Gob said with a laugh. Candle summoned a newspaper and read the top story.

"Trump and Clinton win New York. Trump: 59% and Clinton 57%."

"No not that one! But that does remind me to give Mr. Trump a call... But no, read below that!"

"Mr. McMahon, Chairman, and CEO of the WWE has sold half the rights to his company and franchise to an anonymous buyer for over one billion dollars. MrMcmahon states it's best for business." Candle seemed shocked by this news. "Gob, you bought half the rights to the WWE? That's huge!" Candle exclaimed excitedly, crumpling the newspaper in her black hands.

"I know, right!? Probably the biggest purchase since I bought the NFL!"

"But then you lost the NFL to a coin toss..." Candle reminded jokingly.

"Well, this time, it'll be different! I'm pretty sure there are no coins or coin tosses in wrestling, so I'm pretty sure these rights are as good as mine!" Gob said happily.

"Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood sir. Hopefully, that'll help you get through this bit of news..."

"Are the Norse returning!?" Gob asked, almost sounding panicked.

"Uh... No, sir. Remember that poll you told me to hold for your staff and employees? To see whether or not the majority actually LIKED you or not?" Candle asked.

"Oh, right, what about it?" Gob asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Well... seventy-nine percent of your workforce agrees you're a generally unlikable person. In fact, a fraction of that percentage believe you're the anti-christ, and another fraction believes you're Satan himself... Just in disguise." Candle informed as she read some of the employee reviews. "Some stated: 'He is literally Hitler, only instead of killing us, he chooses to work us for all enterinity. Please give me the sweet taste of death. Please in the name of everything holy and true, give me death!' and another said, 'He doesn't supply soy milk for the breakroom on the West Wing of the building, but the right wing. Being a West Wing worker, I'd like the convenience of walking to the breakroom within three hours instead of five to get my morning coffee with soy milk!' and the most recent comment: 'If things aren't solved within ten minutes of Gob reading this, there will be a shooting. That's a fact!'" Candle finished. Usually, hurtful words like those don't usually faze Gob. Instead, he plays with those words and likes to twist them against the original offender. But this was different. These were his workers ever since he began the company. These were the workers who would work for him for all eternity. Knowing over seventy percent of them disliked him, was discouraging to Gob.

"I told you, even your loyal workers don't like you." Said a feminine voice that wasn't Candle's. Although the source couldn't be found, Gob could still hear it behind his ear. Like a devil's whisper, it was hurtful and antagonizing.

"No... No, I still have the contestants. My workers are expendable! Why should I be fazed by nobodies!? Candle, summon the finalists!" Gob ordered, sounding a lot more angrier than before. Candle was concirned. Not because her boss was ticked off, but because Gob was ticked off. She knew about Gob, she knew he still had feelings. She sighed and hoped the three, especially Coalstone kept it peaceful. With a snap of her fingers and a little extra focus, she transported the three finalistst to Gob's office. Candle noticed Gob seemed to have put on a mask of happiness to face the contestants.

'I have a strange feeling this won't end well...' Candle thought as she watched with concern.

"Lady and gentlemen! Congratulations on completing your tasks! Please, give me your notepads!" Gob asked as he gathered each of the notepads. As he read through them, there was one bit that caught his eye.

“I’ve heard tale of your time spent during the challenge made by that rather unsightly GOB fellow. If I remember correctly it was he that left you in that desert when you and i met in transit to the gaming convention.”

Coalstone’s now granite like face became all the insight that Luna needed for what he was thinking, “You’re not fond of him I take it?”

“Who would be, the guy;s a complete manipulative, self indulgent ass, and I can’t even do anything to stop him because he’s literally a god. He’s like Discord if the guy was a little more focused or had some sense of self control.” Snorting as he recalled all the various forms of torment the deity had put him through it still didn’t help ease his mind, “Then again the way he acts seems like what people expect from gods.”

Gob's eye twitched. This wasn't the perfect thing for him to see at the moment.

'Oh, what does it matter? She's only a princess who refuses to unlock her full power. I could erase Equestria ten times over if I wanted to! Hell, I could buy them and sell them to little human girls if I chose to. But I know that won't help me with being liked... So I must hold back. I just hope the contestants other than Coalstone of course don't think the same way.' Gob thought as he faked a smile.

"Hmm, these are quite nice! Very well done, guys!" Gob said with a toothy grin, unsettling the three remaining contestants.

"Gob, what's going on? You haven't tormented, joked, or insulted us yet. Are you hiding something?" Reneigah asked.

'Do they only think of me like that?'

"What? Of course not! I'm just congratulating you on your hard work! In fact, good job to the three of you who worked oh so hard to get to this point. I must say I'm very impressed!" Gob exclaimed happily.

"Okay... Uh, you never thanked us before. Why now?" Sentinel questioned.

'Have I never thanked them for their work?'

"I didn't? Well, consider this a makeup for all the times I didn't thank you for your efforts!" Gob said with a grin. "Thank you. All of you for your hard work and loyalty!"

"Okay, Gob, cut the crap. What's really going on here? You're usually an asshole, what have you got planned?" Coalstone said coldly. Candle winced and worried what was going to happen next. She could see the frustration in Gob begin to boil over. One more push and he'll go over. But maybe he can hold it. Maybe Gob can find a way to hold back his anger. Or, Candle hoped.

"Nothing, Coalstone! Nothing at all. What makes you think that?" Gob asked.

"Well for one, you're a psychopathic jackass who likes to do nothing but torment and abuse his workers and contestants for his own fun and games! You don't care for others and their lives, you worry more about your businesses to realize the safety hazards you put us through, you're insensitive, you're arrogant, you're offensive, you're abusive, you're manipulative, basically, you're just one big bully and I speak for Reneigah and Sentinel when I say we're sick of your crap you, you, bully!" Coalstone shouted as he slammed and shattered Gob's desk. Silence. Other than her own racing heartbeat, all Candle could hear was silence. Sentinel could only hear silence, and Reneigah the same. Gob only stared down at his desk with an eerie and faint smile. It took a minute, but Coalstone suddenly realized what had happened. What he had done.

"Gob I... I didn't- I..."

"Sir, Sir? Gob, are you OK?"

"Gob, you're scaring me..."

"Gob, dude? You alright?"

More silence. That's all that responded until Gob slowly rose from his leather chair. He raised his head and stared at Sentinel and Reneigah in particular.

"You two feel the same way?" Gob asked emotionlessly. Sentinel and Reneigah feared what would happen. Sure they didn't like him but they still thought Coal took it too far. But they worried if they lied. Gob was a god, could he distinguish a lie from the truth? The zebra and guard were split. What could they do? They looked at each other then back to Gob, then at Candle who was signaling them to lie.

"Well..."

"Gob, you see..."

"No need for words..." Gob looked back down at his desk and took a breath. His breath wavered and sounded emotional. Coalstone took a step back giving the god some space. "I'm a god... I already knew what you were going to say. What you were going to say in this universe, and in the next. And in any other universe beyond that. I knew your answers all along. But... Why?" Gob asked finally looking up. His eyes were still blue but very very dull and they seemed very very lifeless. As if he had taken the eyes of a dead man and used them as his own. "Why would you all... My friends, lie to me?" Without any words, Gob snapped his fingers and disappeared to wherever he felt would be best for him. More silence filled the room, but not for as long as an angered Candle took the stage.

"How dare you all..." Candle shouted like an angry parent.

"How dare us!? He's the tyrant!" Coal exclaimed.

"Especially you, you sackless, worthless life form!" Candle shot her hand out and a ball of fire burst from her hand, sending Coal flying against a wall. He wasn't burned. Like last time, he was only knocked out. "He only wanted friends! He just doesn't know how! He's a god, and I understand a god's amusement is different from a mortal, but with people like him, you must be patient! He's still learning. Although I'm only his co-manager, I know a whole lot about Gob. A lot more than the three of you could ever learn! He's at least trying and you continue to talk about him behind his back! You continue to hold grudges and anger against a man who can't help it! I know he's a maniac, I know he's a psycho, but he's still my friend, and I know he still has feelings! I thought ponies upheld and praised friendship and kindness. Not anger and hatred. Especially for those who can't help it. If only you saw what he left you all... Return to the mansion! Later tonight I will summon the contestant who will be fired!" Candle snapped her fingers and a ring of fire swallowed the three contestants. Returning them to the mansion.

~***~

"Wha- Who the hell are you!? You're not supposed to be here! Security!" Shouted an angry old man with a gruff voice, but he was quickly silenced by an angry Candle Light.

"Mr. McMahon, show me the Smackdown and Raw rosters, now!" Candle ordered as she throttled the CEO. With fear, McMahon nodded and pulled himself away from Candle and rushed to his desk pulling out two long lists of names from Smackdown and Raw from 2000 to 2016. "This will do." Candle said as she quickly skimmed the first few names. "Pleasure doing business, sir." She then left the old man to have his heart attack.

~***~

Vanessa stumbled up the final step.

'The break room! Perfect!' Vanessa said with a sigh as she quickly stepped through the door into the empty break room. It was a decently sized room with a coffee machine, a fridge, a microwave, and a full fruit bar with assorted goods such as chopped pineapples, watermelon, cantaloupe, and more. Vanessa eyed the fruit bar and rushed over eating mouthful after mouthful of fruits of all sorts. She let their healthy energy fill her body and rejuvenate her as she continued to eat. She then eyed the refrigerator and swung the door open to reveal bottled waters, cellary, carrots, and more vegetables. Including some fatty foods, she didn't care for. She guzzled down the water and stuffed herself with the celery and carrots. She was so nearly re-energized. She just needed one more source of energy! Plantlife!

Suddenly, in came a young woman in a wheelchair. Soon their eyes met and the crippled lady screamed in horror as she tried to turn and rotate her chair to leave the break room but Vanessa managed to catch and muffle the screaming lady.

"Shh, sh, sh, sh... Show me to the nearest plant you have here and nobody gets hurt." Vanessa whispered. She then made herself invisible and took hold of the wheelchair handles. Reluctantly, Barrel Roll guided Vanessa to the nearest indoor plant they had. Still in her invisible form, Vanessa tackled the small plant and absorbed it's energy. Making the flower wilt.

That was it. That's all she needed for now! Vanessa was fully reenergized!

"Hold it right there, crip!" Vanessa halted Barrel Roll from wheeling herself away.

"What now? You want me to breastfeed you too, creep? Wait 'till Gob hears about this, your ass is grass!"

"I do need one more thing from you, actually. Give me your clothes..."

'That's something I never thought I'd say.'

"Excuse me?" Barrel asked.

"You heard me, dammit! Give me your damned clothes! Or I'll blast your head open here and now!" Vanessa held her hand to the crippled girl's head as Barrel reluctantly began to strip herself as best she could. Vanessa took it upon herself to help strip Barrel by taking her shoes and pants off. Once Vanessa had all of Barrel's clothes, Vanessa wheeled Barrel back to the break room and took a sock from the crippled girl's foot and balled it up and stuffed it into her mouth. Vanessa then tied Barrel's hands to the refrigerator handle. With a salute to the pilot, Vanessa ran off with human Barrel's clothes, leaving the pilot half naked, tied up, and humiliated.

~***~

The three finalists sat quietly around the large pool of the manor. After feeling a little sore, Coalstone felt he needed a quick dip in the hot tub, leaving Reneigah and Sentinel to either wading in the pool or sitting in the hot tub with Coal.

"I still don't get why you HAD to say all that to Gob." Reneigah said as she leaned her head back letting the warm water soothe her worried mind.

"I had to, Reneigah. if not me, who will?" Coalstone asked.

"But you heard Candle, he still has feelings!" Sentinel defended.

"I'm sorry, but did you forget who Gob is? He's a sicko! He's intolerant and he's abusive!" Coalstone tried to argue.

"Well, yes, that's obvious, but that doesn't mean he's completely emotionless!" Reneigah said.

"In my defense, I didn't know that until now!" Coalstone replied.

"In any case, we need to worry about who'll be fired next. I mean it could be any one of us... Frankly, Coal, I'm thinking it'll be you, dude. The way you shouted at Gob, that's a sure way to get fired."

"For the last time, I'm the innocent one here! You're just letting Gob's influence and manipulation get to you all!" Before any one of the ponies could answer, Sentinel suddenly disappeared.

"Oh..." Reneigah muttered.

"Wait, him? Why him?" Coal asked confused.

~***~

"On behalf of Gob, I, Candle Light inform you, Thunderbolt Sentinel that you have been fired from the OC Apprentice. Your things are already packed and there will be a jet waiting for you outside ready to take you back home." Candle simply said as she sat behind her own respective desk.

"I don't understand. Why am I being eliminated? If anything, I thought Coal was getting eliminated."

"While that would be true, Gob still wants to play fair and not hold any biases. So based off your work today, he deemed you the least successful of the given three. It's nothing personal. Just business." Candle said with closed eyes. While Sentinel was very confused and very bewildered, he accepted his fate. He had fun. He had fun and that's all that matters.

"What about my charity?" Sentinel asked.

"Don't worry. Since you made it to third place, your charity will be earning 250,000 bits as compensation." Candle wrote out a check and handed it to Sentinel who accepted the gift. "You also receive a 250,000 bit pay for making it to third. Thanks for playing." After handing Sentinel his final check, Candle snapped her fingers and the same ring of fire took Sentinel outside to the jet. Eyeing the jet and his luggage beside him, Sentinel sighed and stuffed the two checks beneath his right wing as he made his way to the jet. After stepping in and taking his seat he heard the pilot's feminine voice.

"You know where I assume," Sentinel said flatly.

"Yes... Straight to VeggieCo HQ!" Shouted the pilot as the doors slammed shut and locked Sentinel down to his seat. Sentinel screamed in panic as the jet took off with Vanessa's evil laugh echoing throughout the night.

Comments ( 3 )

....Huh, I figured i'd be getting the boot, kind of surprised actually. Happy to still be involved of course, just surprised. Didn't think I'd get this far.

Wow, dammit. I tried my best at least. Good luck you two.:applejackunsure:

I wonder what Veggie CO is up to? Maybe I'm not completely done here yet? :derpyderp2:

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