Eventide, get it? · 6:21am Apr 1st, 2016
So, Eventide. A synonym for Twilight. Now you know why I cut it off where I did, right?
A trash story by a trash? author. Actually I doubt I'm THAT bad, just, yanno? Tone for a story is everything, right?
So, if you are seeing this blog post, I'm assuming you made to the end. Yes, I did you wrong. Yes this was the perfect day to write and publish this. Yes, this is my first story prompted by reading too many human/pony romances in too short a time.
Now, I must preface this by saying I have no issue with pony human romance specifically(Other than sex. Sorry, no, your human genitalia isn't going to do jack shit for a pony unless you do it doggy[pony?] style. Maybe not even then.) What prompted this, what made me grin with glee as I thought of the twist, were several commonalities.
1) Saying "Hi, name" instead of "Hi, Princess."
Yes, they will likely think better of you if you leave their title off when appropriate. It is believable when they appreciate being treated like a pony, not whatever their job title is. It is NOT believable when they make googoo eye a day after meeting your human.
TD,DR;Why is your pony a slut?
2)Being human.
This is 2fold. Humans are different from ponies. Ponies don't usually LIKE different. (Remember Zecora? Discord? I suppose it's debatable why changlings use subterfuge before the wedding). Different strokes for different folks, but by and large your characters should be uncomfortable with the idea of interspecies romance. Especially humans, given our background and the fact that our bodies are somewhat incompatible.
Missionary style doesn't work unless you're a teat man, and even then you aren't doing anything for her. (I didn't get to lampshade this, sadly.)
3)Pacing
This is more a personal failing on my part, having never been in love, and afraid that I cannot love, but showing 2 people meeting one and deciding,"Hey yea, let's date." Sometimes you don't have the time for a drawn out romance, but there should be SOME reason why these 2 characters are attracted to each other. And with interspecies romance, physical reasons like wingspan or a nice flank aren't going to cut it.
Now that I've alienated EVERYONE, I do have another story idea or 2 that I might be inclined to work on, now that I've cut my teeth. Alas, I have yet to figure out how editing online is different from editing a physical piece of paper.
Many people do editing online with something like Google Documents.