How to deal with a Kik webcam girl · 4:38pm Mar 9th, 2016
So I was checking Kik earlier today, and I got a message from an unknown contact -- let's call her Betty Boobs. Anyway, this girl started trying to get me to go to her (doubtlessly malware-ridden) webcam show, and I decided to have a little fun with her. Unfortunately, I couldn't take any screenshots from my phone, but I've transcribed the whole thing here for your entertainment!
Her: wanna chat with a bored, single 23/f?
Me: Sure! Do you like ponies? I love ponies. I could talk about ponies for hours!
Her: lol So how is your day going so far? ;)
Me: About the same. Another day, another ritual sacrifice.
Her: lol well I feel so lazy laying in bed in my panties and bra lol I was a bad girl and called in sick to work today lol just here being lazy. so..What kinda girls are you into? Are you into BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY?
Me: I'm into ice cream, mostly.
Her: lol.. I have a lot of both!! maybe i can show u ;-)
(She then sends me a picture.)
Me: Mom? Is that you?
Her: Ok... let me set my cam up and I'll show you my booty shaking skills lol. Just promise you won't share my profile with anyone else ok? lol
Me: Mom, we talked about this, remember? What's Dad going to say when he finds out?
Her: Ok, I'm sending u an invite below it will bring u to my private 1on1 chat. Click on "Accept Invite" and make a free account. It'll take you straight to my webcam. ;-)
Me: Ooh, an invite! Is it to a party? I like parties.
Her: okay it's probably gonna ask for your credit card info, but it's free, babe. I'm gonna show u more than just my booty shake, I promise!
Me: The police say I can't do that anymore. Not since they caught me with that cat.
Her: Are you in? U got me so horny hurry up setting up the profile
Me: Okay, just give me a minute.
(I then left her hanging for about ten minutes.)
Her: k hurry up I'm waiting practically NAKED and my nipples are hard lol hurry up so we can play daddy I'm wet :-)
Me: It looks as though you're letting go, and if it's true I don't want to know...
Her: k...
Me: Let's be happy happy happy, say the word now! Happy happy happy, try it somehow!
(She finally gave up after that.)
That's honestly one of the funniest things I've ever read!
3799374 I thought for sure the "Mom? Is that you?" comment would be enough to scare her off. Guess not!
3799375 That was the funniest part, and I thought she would have been thrown off by it as well.
I'm impressed she stuck around that long.
3799525 Scammers are nothing if not determined.
3799903 I remember one time, I got a call from "Microsoft tech support". So I pretended to be drunk, and went off on a rambling, profane rant about my fictional ex-girlfriend. I went on like that for nearly five minutes before he hung up!
You are glorious.
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Well, shoot. You just got ten times more glorious. (Derpy is Best Pony)