Writer's Workshop: The Art of Writing · 5:56pm Jan 13th, 2016
So, I had this really great workshop written up about "building up" stories versus "building down" stories, but then my computer bugged out, and I had to restart it. I lost everything. 
So now I'm gonna do a completely different one instead! This one's been a long time coming, which is a shame, considering how important it is. Friends, let's talk about figurative language!
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So what exactly is figurative language? It's basically whenever you say something to represent something else. In a sense, it's kind of like artful lying.
Let's start, for example, with the humble simile. If I say to you, "Don't talk to him! He's like a spider," I don't literally mean he's a spider. He doesn't have eight legs, he doesn't literally spin a web, you get the picture. What I'm trying to do is convey a complicated set of concepts with a single image, an archetype we both share. Spiders, in a figurative sense, are devious, crafty, always waiting for the perfect moment to ensnare you. But without having to say all that, I can just compare him to a spider, and you'll get the gist of what I'm saying.
Here's another common use of figurative language: personification. This is when we give a non-sentient object or force sentient qualities. For example, "the wind chastened me, advised me to cool my temper." Unless we're in some fantasy world, the wind doesn't literally talk. The character isn't hearing actual words, so in that sense, he's lying. But again, he's trying to convey a complicated idea with a simple image that makes sense. If you're angry, feeling a slow, cool wind on your face might remind you to chill out and relax. It might feel chastening to be angry, but then feel that sense of coolness well up in you. So he treats the wind as though it were a living person telling him how he should feel.
Now, here's what makes this so important: no two people see the world the same way. When I think of spiders, I think of what I just said. But maybe you think of spiders as cool, patient craftspeople (you read Charlotte's Web, and I just played Undertale), and your go-to animal for deviousness and craftiness is a fox, or a snake, or a platypus! So you'd write the simile as "Don't talk to him! He's like a platypus" instead. This is one of the ways you can make your writing style sound different from another writers. Look at the difference between writing, "Suddenly, the ground shifted, like the world was coming to an end," and writing, "Suddenly, the ground shifted, like a gear in a massive machine finally clicking into place." This is the art of writing, the secret to giving your stories color and flair. Writing a story from beginning to end is easy, but using good figurative language takes a sense of artistry.
You can find a million different sites that list different things as figurative language, but for this workshop, let's just go over a few of the popular ones:
Hyperbole: This is a big fancy word for exaggeration. Hyperbole is great for when you want to emphasize something or show that the speaker is upset. It's everywhere in literature; in fact, I just used it in the last paragraph! ;) Here's another example: "The rain came down in buckets. It hammered us into the ground, instantly turning our clothes into drowned rags."
Oxymoron: This is when you use a description that contradicts itself. This forces the reader to step back for a moment and reconsider what you're trying to say. For example, "You settle down and relish the cool heat of the flickering fire." What does that mean, "cool heat?" What am I trying to convey with that? Think it over for a bit and really let the contradiction sink in.
Metonymy/Synecdoche: Two really similar words that are kinda tough to use. Synecdoche is when you use a part of something to refer to its whole, while metonymy is more generally any object associated with that thing. Let's see if I can come up with my own example... Like, calling Twilight Sparkle "the brains of the operation." You're using a part of her (her brain) to refer to all of her: her intelligence, her quick thinking, her planning. Or how about journalists in this sentence: "the cameras followed her?" See, this is really hard.
Alliteration: This is isn't imagery-based like the others, but it does come up now and again. Alliteration is when you start multiple words in a row with the same letter or sound. Like oxymorons, it forces the reader to step back and re-consider the sentence. It's generally thought of as a comedic effect, so if you discover your design is droll, deliver it deftly. 
Allusion: An allusion is an event or description or whatever that calls to mind some other story. For example, if I were to write, "Starlight and her little club of lotus-eaters," I'm making a reference to the lotus-eaters from "The Odyssey." And yes, the older and more pretentious the reference, the better! 
We can take this up a step further with something called "allegory," where the entire story is a point-for-point model for something else. If you set up your story right, then Twilight punching Applejack in the face isn't just Twilight punching Applejack, but the personification of science and industry overcoming the personification of agrarianism and tradition. ...By punching it in the face.
Trust me, there's a lot more you can dig into if you want. You can read up on rhetorical questions and apostrophe (not your keyboard's apostrophe); or learn about consonance, assonance, and enjambment; or dig more into symbolism, theming, and motifs; whatever you're interested in, there's plenty to discover in the world of figurative language. But the point of all this is to show you how figurative language lets you describe things and convey ideas with more advanced techniques. Say you want to show that a character is tired. You could say they're tired directly or show it through actions, but what about figurative language? "By this point, she was a shadow, scuffing along as though she were in manacles, kept moving only through the continued urging of caffeine and the siren's song of sleep that would bring an end to her struggles." See if you can name every figurative language trick I've used here. I kinda went overboard there. 
I love metaphors and alliteration when I can get it to click (which isn't often, so I love it even more when it does, like it did in Royal Exam almost totally by accident).
He would miss the position when he retired and went back to his hospital residency, but from the excited reaction of his nurse to the news she had brought, it seemed time to bring a gynecological obstetrician and a pediatric specialist in. And talkative ones too, from the number of questions Princess Sparkle would have as she worked her way through the perilous process of precocious prenuptial panic-prone princess pregnancy and proper parenthood procedures postpartum.
Hyperbole when used for humor is best not taken to simply 11, but go for higher numbers, such as Changelings, Love and Lollipops (and Pinkie Pie, of course):
The world became pink again, flavored with cotton candy and frosting. It was far from the best kiss he had ever been given, but on a scale of one to ten for enthusiasm, it ranked somewhere around thirty-eight, and even without his empathic senses, it made certain reactions flare to life.
Metonymy... hm... I'm presuming this is more in line with using a physical metaphor for a non-physical thing such as Twilight's mind being like a steel trap⁽²⁾. Referring to Tutor again:
Deep in the secluded depths of her mind lay a steel vault with reinforced door⁽³⁾, into which she began to stuff her anger and rage at being used as a social stepping stone. Memories of being splashed in the face with water, and the fire extinguisher followed, then that infernal marble chip cake, the cluttered wagon, the feeling of his clammy lips on hers, and that defaced book. Especially that defaced book. They fought her grasp, but she was relentless in her pursuit, wrestling each of them into their prison and slamming the door viciously.
(2) Tightly wound, dangerous, and tended to violent action if disturbed.
(3) Metaphorical only, although if there was a way to do it literally, Twilight would be the one.
That story about an industrialism vs. agrarianism allegory sounds very interesting.