• Member Since 6th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen April 2nd

Distant Gaze


  • MSmoke
    Sombra wasn't destroyed cleanly. When some of his power is inherited, how many ponies will fall under its control?
    Distant Gaze · 192k words  ·  546  41 · 11k views

More Blog Posts116

  • 281 weeks
    Closure: Full plot spoilers for Smoke here

    Consider yourselves warned: this whole post is a spoiler. We're well past the point that the only realistic thing is that Smoke is done, so for anyone who wanted to know what had been planned, well, may this post provide you some closure. I'm certain to have forgotten things or misremembered them. It's been a while. But Smoke has only relatively recently stopped attracting new

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    20 comments · 887 views
  • 285 weeks
    Tumblr porn ban

    As most of you know, Tumblr's banning porn on the 17th of this month. Since Smoke is pretty well dead in the water, I won't be bothering to relocate any of the images or other content from the Smoke Tumblr. If you came upon this story after I quit working on it and weren't aware there were images, here's your chance to see them before they're gone. Otherwise, it's your chance to archive them

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    3 comments · 389 views
  • 360 weeks
    Cut content

    So, about a week ago, while naked and wet (just a shower, sadly...), I actually felt a little like working on Smoke again. I haven't yet, and don't know if I will. Let's start off with the honest disclaimers: if you've been here, you know not to get your hopes up when I say anything, and I know not to make any promises. Which is why I didn't post anything that night--I had to dig

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    12 comments · 889 views
  • 389 weeks
    Still not dead.

    I received a PM from Rozen Knight letting me know that some of you were worried about me. That's flattering, but I'm okay. If you followed me two years ago, you know that I'm coming up on a terrible time of year for me emotionally, but that's not why there's been radio silence. It's just that there's been nothing to say. No progress, and I assure you that I'm as tired of making empty promises

    Read More

    8 comments · 559 views
  • 421 weeks
    News

    Current chapter is progressing terribly. Can't claim burnout since I've not put out a chapter in months, but something's not working. Chapter's going on the back burner while I put together a piece that builds Smoke's events in parallel with the main story. Style will be different, trying to shift gears. Sorry for the abysmal rate of updates, guys. Once that's done, I'll pick up the

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    3 comments · 448 views
Jan
12th
2016

Question 1! · 5:13am Jan 12th, 2016

I won't post each question here as they go up on Tumblr--I can schedule them on Tumblr, and also it would be WAY too many blog posts. Here, though, is the first. The rest will come all in one post when this is over. Credit to Fable Wright for Shimmer's answers--I'm touching them up so she sounds like the Shimmer I write, but she remains his character, and I wanted to be sure she answered as she really would.

Pirouette and the mares sit in a row across The Tall Tail’s stage, some looking completely at home, others nervously fidgeting, and still others quite bored. Done Deal is visible behind his bar, and Tall Order is distributing refreshments to you and anypony else here to ask questions at this special (inexplicably not top secret) affair.

At last, the house lights dim and Pirouette, mistress of the stage, steps forward. “Welcome, everypony, to ‘Ask the Mares!’ This is a bit of a strange situation for us–much as I’m at home up here, it’s usually song and dance or a little light comedy. Bear with us if we’re a little out of sorts at first, but we’ll be sure to get everypony’s questions answered. Let’s start with one for everypony, so nopony gets to claim she was first…” Pirouette shoots a quick glare at Deep Tissue, whose innocent whistling is spoiled entirely by the grin on her face.

Pirouette continues. “Somepony asked, ‘Several of you have experienced physical changes due to the smoke. Now if you could choose a physical change to happen to you, what would it be? Also if you could physically change Done, what would it be?’

“As for me, I’m perfectly happy just to have my youth back! I’ve never had any complaints about my looks, and never been unhappy with them, so really, smoothing out the lines and shining up my coat again is plenty. As for Done? I’ve known him since he was as young as the girls up here. Wouldn’t change a thing.” Several ponies look toward the back, and you follow their gazes to find Done looking rather pleased with himself. Back on stage, Pirouette sighs. “Great. Now his head’s going to get big. Let’s go down the line here.”

Exposé rolls her eyes before answering. “This is ridiculous. I don’t need any changes. Done’s dick should be smaller though!”

As various mares on stage and ponies in the audience snicker or blush at the testy pegasus’ blunt answer, Bruises leans over to her looking confused and whispers in her ear. Whatever she said causes Exposé’s eyes to snap wide open and she begins to shout.

“I do not need to be any taller! I’m just fine the way I am!”

Bruises blinks and scratches her ear, unfazed by her fillyfriend’s loudness. “But you said–”

Into the air and flapping a foot above her seat, Expose yells even more loudly. “N-never mind what I said! Next pony!” and drops back to her seat with a thump, glaring at the floor.

“Next pony” is Bruises herself. “Uhh… I already got changed the most. I don’t need anymore. Might be nice to not be so big sometimes, but it’s great when I get to protect Boss or the girls! Aaaand… Um, actually I wouldn’t mind if Boss were bigger. Kinda been a while, and he’s really, really good, but I have to clamp down hard, and–ooh!” Swatted by Exposé’s wing, Bruises realizes she’s said more than enough, and, blushing, falls silent.

Continuing down the line, Shimmering Scales speaks. “I’d want a snake tail! No doubt about it! Not just on my plot of course; I mean like Mistress Lamia from Power Ponies! Can you imagine the sexy?” Shimmer becomes more and more animated as she speaks, no doubt excited by the thought. “And climbing up the stage rigging would be easier, and I wouldn’t need a stool to see over high things… practical and pleasurable! For Mr. Deal? Huh. Um… never thought about it, buuut… I’d make him more sensitive. Sides, flanks, thighs, just under his forelegs… and a couple of secret places only I know just how to tweak.” Shimmer’s expression had become mischievous, but suddenly takes a bit of a frustrated look as she adds, “I don’t really need to mess with his looks; I just want to make him squirm in bed more. He’s not exactly imaginative there, and with just one thing I can handle to please him, I run out of options way, way too soon.” Finishing, Shimmer sits rather suddenly, looking just a bit nervous. You crane your neck to find Done Deal staring at her with a raised eyebrow and an unreadable expression.

Amber hops up with a flap of her wings to stand on her seat. “I’d just like not to need such thick glasses. And maybe be a bit slimmer. Casting directors are awful. Mr. Deal… maybe he should go to a casting director. They could tell him how to look to get every mare chasing him. He’d probably like that.” Amber lowers herself back into her seat before bouncing up again just as Jade opened her mouth. “Oh. And longer wings. Because… because.” Amber sits again, as Jade looks around to see if anypony else will interrupt.

Jade doesn’t bother to stand. “I just want to be how Mr. Deal needs me.” The bright green of Jade’s body sparkles a bit as she shrugs. “If I’m useful, that’s good. And Mr. Deal is fine.” With nothing more to add, Jade returns to her silence as Shimmering Scales sighs in her direction.

Peach Pit is next, and where Jade sat silently, Peach flaps up, dropping back to her seat the way Amber had, but with a critical difference. As Peach drops, her dress is tossed up by the air, revealing her unusually large teats, and the inch wide golden ring in each. Her grin at the slack jaws of several ponies in the room is the only indication she realizes what she’s done. “I just want to look however’s going to catch Done’s eye. Bigger, longer, shinier… taller or more muscley if that’s what he wants–”

“–it’s not,” Bruises interjects sadly,

“it doesn’t matter. He’s perfect. I just want him to make me the best mare he’s ever seen.” Peach ignores the exasperated expressions of the mares with her on stage, and Pirouette’s shaking head. Her answer isn’t for them, or you for that matter. It’s for a certain gray stallion behind the bar, who avoids an accusing glare or two from the stage carefully.

Deep Tissue raises a hoof and tosses her long bangs away from her eye before addressing the audience. “Some of us aren’t that easy, even if we’re in love. If Done wants to change my looks, I might think about it, but really, I do a decent job making sure he’s got nothing to worry about. I’m happy the way I am. She’s right about Done though–he’s just fine. Well. Maybe a little more muscle tone wouldn’t hurt.”

Deep’s calm self-assurance is obviously nurtured regularly. The audience’s gaze lingers on the beautiful mare longer than any other, and several ponies had had their eyes on her before she began speaking.

“Wouldn’t even get rid of that extra pound left from the ice cream binge, hm?”

Deep’s calm expression doesn’t change even as her horn lights to yank the chair from beneath Day Planner for her deadpan barb.

Day’s answer is delayed a moment as she gets back to her hooves, the faint smirk on her face telling anypony that the fall was worth it. She retakes her seat calmly. “If Mr. Deal were to change me, I think I would like my mane longer. I can’t wear it past this bob without splitting. The bob suits me, but I know Mr. Deal’s tastes. Turning him on a bit faster would benefit us both.”

“If you’d wear that suit…” Deep folds her front legs; this is not a new topic for the sisters.

“I’ll wear it, Deep, I’ll wear it! On my terms.”

Deep and Day whisper at each other as Primavera’s turn comes, the second half of the question forgotten. “Do… I really have to answer this?” Primavera, looks more than a little uncomfortable. “I…” Making out her dark blush is a trivial affair; this is no mean feat for the normally intimidating chef. “I’d like to be able to take him into my th-throat farther. And… he could be red…”

Strawberry Frosting leans over to pat Primavera’s shoulder as the other mares on stage recover from their shock. When Primavera sighs and raises her head, Strawberry gives her own answer. “I’d… oh Celestia, you’re right, Primavera… I’d like to be a little… deeper. And Mr. Deal could match, longer. Maybe thicker…”

Day nods and ignores Strawberry’s discomfort. “That would be a good change for Mr. Deal.” Perhaps then he wouldn’t have to work so hard when I want it rougher. Strawberry’s faint nod is almost imperceptible.

Pirouette takes to her hooves again, eager to get the crowd's eyes off the humiliated mares on the far side of the stage. “And that’s all of us! So, next question!”

Pirouette opens the next envelope in the box by her chair. Is it yours?

Report Distant Gaze · 364 views · Story: Smoke ·
Comments ( 8 )

Looks like you've been writing for hours! Just wanted to write something to show how much it's appreciated

I've been reading your tumblr and found this in the Character Outline for Pirouette:

Physical Description: Earth pony. Older (late 30s?) still fairly pretty, orange coat, dark red mane and tail. Cutie mark is a pony-ish ballet slipper.

Somehow I doubt ~15 years have passed since she was smoked :)

3683674
Allow me to be the smartass who’s going to point out that these Outlines are the first drafts of the characters. Originally Manehattan was inspired by the Chicago of 1960s with Done acting more like a mob boss.

Just take a look at this part of the outline:

After corruption: Something of a taskmistress, but not overtly harsh. Would still sooner reward than punish, but demands more. Starts choreographing sexier shows, trying to convince dancers to appeal to the stallions/flirt. Would now rat out her girls to DD if she thought it’d improve her lot with him. Slightly jealous.

Doesn’t really sound like the Pirouette we’ve seen in the story, does it? :raritywink:

3683786 Fair enough, it's true I didn't look at the dates. :D

3683786

60s? Much too late. Prohibition era, so 1920s to early 1930s. The Tall Tail was originally going to be full of flappers, even. You're right though, Pirouette is well older than her original plan.

3683562

I was! Hours Monday night into Tuesday morning, hours Tuesday night, and tonight will see another couple at least. Tomorrow, maybe, if I can't finish. Thanks for your appreciation, but thanks even more for submitting questions.. I'd have been upset if I got too few. Hours of writing is a much better fate. Even if second person is kind of making me nuts.

Congratulations on finishing the last question. Hope you’re doing something like this again sometime.

Roughly fourthy questions and even if some people like me asked more than once it really shows that got yourself a little fan base. That’s something to be proud off. :pinkiehappy:

Plenty of questions for the one character with a penis, the mother hen and the sexiest Pony sister alive, yet not a single one for Strawberry, Amber or Primavera? Yes the first two gals are side characters who haven’t done much, but that nobody has a question for Primavera surprised me. Obviously that means that you should kill her off as soon as possible and make Amber/ Tall Order/ my OC the new restaurant chef. :trollestia:

3690807

Roughly fourthy questions and even if some people like me asked more than once it really shows that got yourself a little fan base. That’s something to be proud off.

To be fair, I think all of the questions came from 6 or 7 people, out of the 600+ who've liked the story. Still, it gave me plenty to work with, and a good time was had by all. Except Exposé. But she never has a good time anyway.

Plenty of questions for the one character with a penis, the mother hen and the sexiest Pony sister alive, yet not a single one for Strawberry, Amber or Primavera? Yes the first two gals are side characters who haven’t done much, but that nobody has a question for Primavera surprised me. Obviously that means that you should kill her off as soon as possible and make Amber/ Tall Order/ my OC the new restaurant chef.

Tall Order's all customer service, he couldn't make a sandwich to specifications adequate for Primavera (the restaurant, rather than the mare). Amber's not a cook in particular either. That leaves your OC. Considering that I still have way too many OCs owed chapters... I'm thinking no. <_<

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