Blog Making 101 · 8:01am Dec 16th, 2015

Step 1: Type a title that attracts people's attention.
1. Look at title of this blog. That is an example.
Step 2: Type some information that you totally didn't take from the Internet.
1. Properly cite it so you look smart. Don't forget, it needs to be in APA (as claimed by some guy on the Internet, 2015).
2. If you do not need citation, than make sure the information you took was not from Wikipedia!
2.5. If it is from Wikipedia, you dun goofed.
3. Do not use .org, because it is a tool for bias!
Step 3: If you are not making an informational blog, skip step two and pretend step four is step two.
Step 4: Type some interesting words to engage your already interested audience.
1. Use a meme to engage your audience.
1.5. Make sure it does not make your audience cringe.
2. Use a quote from some dead white guy.
2.5. Dead white guy quotes from the 1700-1800s makes you look like a hipster. Good shit.
3. Use a quote from a non-dead white guy.
3.5. If it is Lord Gaben, then pray that he gives you a dragon lore.
3.5.5. That was to make you cringe. I hope it worked.
4. Greet your audience, and ask them how their day was.
4.5. Nine times out of ten they say it was fine, and then proceed to ignore the rest of the question.
5. Use a current event to explain your day!
5.5. If it deals with anything in the form of terrorism (this includes trolling m8s), then be careful, you might have a problem. And I mean might have a problem.
6. Use the first thing that happened as a crutch!
6.5. If the crutch breaks, buy a new one.
7. Pretend that your audience is in boxer shorts.
7.5. Boxers are still revealing.
Step 5: Remember where you are posting your blog.
1. If you are at your grandma's house, please question why you are posting a blog at your grandma's house, then proceed to turn off the computer and walk away.
2. If you are a blog-savvy person, remember that savvy is spelled with two v's, and not a w. Also, blogs are fun.
3. Don't promote racist agenda, K? K? K?
4. Please remember that your computer is not a mask.
4.5. If you believe it is a mask, then please take that mask and throw it in the trash.
5. Don't fall.
5.5. Bad idea.
Step 6: Type more words.
Step 7: Finish off your blog with a simple goodbye.
1. Peace out.
2. See ya around.
3. I like potatoes.
4. I like turtles.
Step 8: Sign your name and pretend you have merit.
1. -name goes here-
2. From, your fucking best friend.
3. Sincerely, someone who won't keep in contact with you.
4. Fuck you, I have Facebook signatures.