The truth behind the BroNYcon orgy. · 3:47am Aug 13th, 2012
There wasn't one.
There was, however, an involuntary BroNYcon birthday party. For Gummy.
Eighteen people were kidnapped by an anonymous stranger in a full Pinkamina costume. The show Pinkamina, not the Cupcakes Pinkamina. They were sat around a table with their arms tied to their sides and party hats full of kibble hung around their mouths.
One by one, the stranger would walk up behind them, pull their heads back, and shake the party hat until the kibble filled the unwilling patron's mouth. More often than not, they choked to death upon the kibble; if this happened, they were resuscitated, and the process was repeated until they were able to consume every last bit of their meal. When this was done, a cake was brought out, but this was no ordinary cake.
It was a bomb. A fifty trillion kiloton bomb. With "Happy Birthday, Gummy" written in pink icing on the side.
When the bomb went off, the explosion could be heard from as far as Buffalo. Brony bits rained down upon the state for days. You wouldn't think that eighteen people could produce that much debris, but we humans are nothing if not expansive.
How do I know all of this? I'd rather not say.
Anybody want a slightly used Pinkamina costume?
Man... And I thought MY tequila was good...