When life goes sideways · 9:47pm Sep 8th, 2015
So somebody at my school just committed suicide. He was a Sophomore. He was only 15 years old. Fifteen. He ended his life before it even really started, there are so many things he'll never see, people he'll never meet, things he won't do. I never met him, and I'd never heard of him before today. I never got the chance, we've only been going to the same school for three weeks. I don't know what he was going through, but I can't help but think that it might have gone differently if he had had a friend there for him.
I'm shocked at how it was handled. First period, the teacher stood up said "so and so committed suicide this weekend, let's all have a moment of silence" so we did. Then the teacher picked up the lesson and life went on just like it always does. Nobody talked about it after that. I can't even remember his name. Somewhere, maybe even just down the block from where I am now, a mother and father are missing a child. Some siblings are missing a brother. Friends are left wondering where they went wrong. Worlds were shattered and a life was permanently ripped from this world. But just a block away, life carries on like it always does.
I don't even know what I'm getting at here. Life is a crazy ride I guess, and some people will fall off long before the end. But we carry on, and we hold to those we hold dear all the tighter for it. Don't jump off before the ride is over, it gets better I promise. If there is one constant in this world, it's that everything changes. You may be sad today, and tomorrow, and maybe even a year from now, but I can promise you that you won't be sad forever. Eventually the sun will shine and you'll find that maybe the world isn't so bad after all. Whatever you do, don't stop moving forward. Ever.
I find that both shocking and depressing. I sincerely hope that wasn't the norm that day, for all the reasons you mentioned. Take care
It's stories like these that have kept me alive. To this very day, while I mourn all of the losses I've heard of. I thank whatever god is above that I'm still carrying on right now, instead of being just like that boy. I may be lost in this world, I may be lonely, I may not even know who or what I am, but I do have a will to live. Maybe not a really strong one, but it's there and I feel that it won't go away any time soon.
Whenever the subject of teens committing suicide is mentioned (Like in a bullying assembly), we have our silence, then leave noisily, not caring, not talking about the fact that we just heard that a young child stabbed or shot themselves. Nobody wants to go through pregnancy, give birth to a child they love with all their heart, then see it kill themselves before they're even done with school. They don't want to see it at all, but just being a kid... that's horrifying and heartbreaking.
But the same thing happened when we heard our homeroom teacher died. Although we had time to cry or process this, ask questions, talk about it, separate classes just went through the same routine. "Mr.Martinez has killed himself. you may have a moment of silence to mourn his death and process this." And about 5 minutes later, it wasn't too big of a deal anymore. It was something the classes would be gossiping about to each other.
"Oh did you hear that teacher died?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, he committed suicide."
"Oh. That's messed up."
And keep walking. They never talked about how he always smiled, or liked to crack jokes, or how he would do his best to give us the least possible amount of homework. He was a really cool teacher, and then he was gone. Now he's just something to gossip about. Someone we never mentioned again after that week. Ever.
I'll be on my way. I am only passing by. I saw my story in the bronze stories list you have and went to thank you, and ended up seeing this. Now, I'll go disappear into the virtual world of the internet. See ya some other time...
-Sonic