Sep
5th
2015
*desprately trying to cheer self up* · 3:24am Sep 5th, 2015
I sexually identify as a male unicorn pony.
Ever since 2013, I dreamed of picking up the disgusting inferior races with my magic and tearing them apart in my dungeon. People say to me that I'll never be a beautiful unicorn and I'm a fucking queer. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm having the top scientists of Zimbabwe put me into their hot sticky dream machine forever, so that I may realize my dream until I die. From now on, you will refer to me as "Checkerboard", and respect my right to be fluffy and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me, you're a uniphobe and need to check your privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I'm so sorry if I offend someone.
...
Good for you!
Okayyy.
Seig Heil Checke...!
*iron Cross walks in*
"You're too young for this."
What? I thought there wasn't a...
"In order to do anything Nazi related, you must now be 21 years of age or older."
*aggrevated sigh* Fine! Bull****.
"Was is das?"
Nothing...!
*Iron Cross frowns and glares suspiciously, slowly backs out of room*
Zimbabwe.
My sides have reached fucking orbit. Jesus Christo.
Tell me, have you dubbed yourself a transgender in actuality, or solely your OC?
3370241 Neither. Where did transgenders come from?
3370241 It's a joke, he's just doing his own version of a infamous internet joke known as a 'copypasta'.
This is the original joke.
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
3370251
Splendid.
. . .
Rootbeer, like many before you, you have asked me something so very inconsequential, that I will not answer it.
3370253
Well, it is a foolish joke.
3370255 I'll take that as an: "I don't know."
3370262 Welcome to the Internet
3370263
You dare question my fundamental literary knowledge?
3370265
Thank you. I'm sure I will enjoy my stay. Tell me, do you offer continental breakfast?
3370269 Yes?
Look, knowledge isn't everything. It's only one part. Those who allocate all their time to that live miserably, even if they don't realize it.
I don't care if love or whatever else you have to say about basic emotion will kill me from the inside, I'm dying anyways.
3370288
The emotional violin is playing longingly for you, Rootbeer.
3370274 Yes we do.
With a side of seven pounds of bacon.
3370292 Let it play.
3370288
3370292 i.imgur.com/DKJhx9l.gif
Seriousky, quit it.
3370302 It's healthy to argue for the stupidest fucking reasons though.
3370302 Great. Now everyone's pissed at me for having an opinion on Tavi's opinions.
3370311 I'll leave that up for debate.
3370326 Now you're just jumping to conclusions. I never said I hated you for having an opinion. I never said anything along that!
3370332 Sorry... I got really angry for a second... I was... harrassing a bully...
Great. Now I feel worse for saying things to people who didn't deserve it.
3370356 And I don't discondone it.
Hey, dude. I forgive you. You were just mad is all, don't worry.
Yeeeeeeees... Masteeeeer.... I have ze plans.
*Lays blueprint of robot covered in feathers on table*
I CALL IT ZE FLUFFOTRON! WITH ZIS, ZHOU CAN DESTROY AND STAY CUDDLY SIMULTANEOUSLY!
3370356
A bully?! Villain that thou art!
3370405
Might wanna lay off a bit, Tavi. No need for riled arguments or petty ones.
3370429
Petty arguments?! Well, I never...!
3370456
*Flicks nose*
No, Tavi. Not here.
3370459
*Swats your hand away* How dare you! I will have satisfaction!
3370462
*Ruffles hair* Sure you will. In some other place. But not here, not now.
3370463
. . .
*Breaks your arm* Oh dear, I am so very sorry. Oh well, I suppose this is what occurs when others are incredibly patronising to those who are superior to them.
3370472
*Self-repositions arm back into socket*
Such an excessive use of aggression for touching one's hair! And beliefs!
One would think you were an American.
3370474
The line has been crossed, Patriot.
3370486
...
Now would be a good time to say that I'm now, 'royally fucked', huh?...
3370488
I would have put it differently, but yes, you are indeed.
3370491
Remember what I said about me liking to 'rile you up'?
I might be having the slightest of second thoughts right now.
Ah, well.. I had a good run. Have at it, then, Tavi!