I have a confession · 9:56pm Jul 28th, 2015

Some of you followed me because I have been writing a spin-off story to Starscribe's awesome story The Last Pony on Earth.

I hate writing. I have always enjoyed reading, to the point where it has gotten me in trouble a few times. Writing, on the other hand, has always been a tough beast for me to tame. When I started this story, nearly 2 months ago, I had a sudden spark of an idea that excited me. I have a lot of little ideas that pop into my head as things I would love to read. However...

In this world, either your life happens to you, or you happen to you life. Neither choice is inherently bad. Or good, for that matter. What this means is you either make things happen, or react to things happening. I am happy letting my life happen to me. I am not the kind of girl who goes looking for Ahuizotl, but I'll joyfully help you raid the temple, if it happens to happen. I am not the driver, I am the passenger. And that's how I like it, usually. This comes to life in my RPs, selfish though it is: the driving force behind the story is always the other player. Always the adventurer, never the DM.

As I have written this spin-off, I have disliked what I have written more and more. I haven't liked anything about it for the last 2 1/2 weeks that I was able to work on it (not including the time the computer was kaput). In a fit of anger, I reread it, and hated it. It was terrible, and I had not been having fun for a long while.

So I shredded it. Gone. It made me feel immensely better, like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, came the guilt. Many of you became my friends because you followed me to support me in my writing of this story.

Sometimes, in the throes of unbidled joy...

...you don't realize that it might be costing other people. Realizing this...

...is not a happy feeling.